AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Same. My mum paid for my entire wedding (dress, food, venue etc) and didn't demand a say in anything.

Good luck to your sister in law on her wedding day and going forward being married into your family, she must love your brother an awful lot.

Don’t wear a dress a bride might wear to a wedding related event like the pre-wedding family dinner, a post wedding brunch, or a bridal shower.

That dress is very bride at a wedding adjacent party.

If someone asked who paid for the wedding (which would also be bad manners) it would be acceptable for your mum to tell the person asking that she did. It is bad manners to go around volunteering that sort of information to people. What would she be looking to gain from telling people? My dad paid for our wedding for our benefit, not so that people would think him some generous benefactor. He wouldn’t have dreamt of telling people how much he’d contributed.
Oh and I’m not defending the bride. I’ve never met her, so no idea if she’s a ‘spoiled brat’ or not. I’m just going on things you’ve said on this thread, and it based on what you’ve said you are coming across as the difficult party.
What has she done that makes her a spoiled brat?

If the bride said no it’s no. What’s a simple thing to get so caught up with just wear something else lol

If people don’t know she paid for it they might think they did. Which would be wrong. Credit where credit is due.

So she’s doing it for the credit then? Not out of love for her son?

It's normal for parents to pay for weddings. It's not normal for parents to tell all the guests that they've paid for the wedding. That's just crass.

There's a way to do it semi-gracefully. On the invitations you can write 'Mum's name invites you to the wedding of X and Y." That makes it clear that mum is the hostess and so paid for it.

But to say "I paid for the food you're eating"? No. Would come off as incredibly rude and immature.

She is doing it out of love but once she has done it she should get the credit.

This is really easy- send a pic to the bride and ask can I wear this to your wedding? ( as you’re not the bride there is no reason to be secretive about the dress. Just solve your problem by asking the person you think has created the problem)

From who? And why? Honestly it wouldn’t have occurred to my dad to want the credit.
She’ll probably find that most people don’t actually care who paid anyway. Why would they?

I swear you couldn't have less class if you tried.

You are horrible about your brother's fiancée. Absolutely vicious. You should be ashamed of yourself, talking to strangers about her in such awful terms.

If your mother can't give them the money to spend as they please and needs to crow about it to the wedding guests, she should never have given it in the first place. They could have headed to a registrar and avoided the petty controlling nonsense.

Has she actually said she’s going to tell people she paid so that she can get the credit?

Why is everyone defending the spoiled brat bride?

The person coming across as a spolied brat is you. The more you post the more horrible you seem, so posters are feeling sorry for the bride.

Have you never read any of the AIBU threads fgs? If you want support, you must be meek and apologetic, no assertive OP’s allowed. If the op is assertive, they must be put in their place. It’s the AIBU rules in case you didn’t know.

Re the dress looks beautiful to me and personally I don’t get the paranoia about others wearing white (which your dress isn’t) as everyone knows who the bride is. For your brothers sake, presumably your DM/you can reassure him that you’re wearing a floral dress, not white. Normal for a summer wedding. End of.

Probably because he didn’t spend much to begin with. None of us would be anywhere without mum.

So what if she has?!

I'm not defending the bride, I'm asking you why you want to hurt your brother?

well you quite clearly dislike your future sister in law, BUT it is her wedding day. Why would you want to deliberately do something that you know will upset her? Send her a picture and if she is not happy with the colour then you have plenty of time to get a replacement.

You are jealous of the wedding.
You wanted your daughter to be bridesmaid.
You call the bride names.

I can not think why the bride didn't want to involve you more.

Seriously. My brother is not going to be hurt by me wearing a floral dress.

You have no class whatsoever.

It will say a lot about her if she has, that’s all 🤷🏻‍♀️

You’re acting like an overgrown toddler who is jealous of their younger sibling getting any attention.

Why are you so unpleasant towards your brother’s fiancée?

You keep referring to her as your brother’s girlfriend and you’re determined to point score against her.

I don’t think the dress is that bad but surely your role as family is to support the bride and groom and try to make it the best day for them as possible?

Your feelings and opinions don’t come into it.

I’m so glad I’m not related to you.