AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

This wedding is not about YOU @princesspicker

It's a celebration of the bride & groom. They're not asking anything outrageous.

It's a pretty ordinary dress - I wouldn't think it's special enough for a wedding but whatever.

YABU Just don't do it. You're behaving like a spoilt child.

if she hasn't seen it show it to her to check that she is comfortable with it, and if she isn't comfortable, don't wear it. it's her wedding and her right to be unreasonable.

I think the dress is now the least of this threads' problems..........!!

Edited for spelling

just get a different dress and stop being so odd

That't their prerogative, then. They've made a request and it should be followed without fuss, upset or drama. The alternative is not to attend.

Although it would've been interesting if he did.

Do I think that dress would normally be acceptable for a wedding guest? Yes. Would I wear it given the conversation your future SIL had with your mum? No. Regardless of whether you agree with her reasoning, the fact she thinks a similar dress is too white means she probably won't appreciate you wearing this one either. It's not worth causing upset when there are plenty of other dresses out there to choose instead.

Yes, I did read that but I'm thinking the groom was joking or humouring his mum about the shoes she bought him. If they were genuinely his favourite pair for the last three years they would most likely not be in a fit state to be worn to a wedding by now. At least not one where the shoe wearer is the actual groom.

Completely unreasonable especially as the bride has said no light colours. It’s the Carly dress it’s available in many other colour options including navy. So swap it for a different colour.

you sound just like my future sil who has made it clear she’s wearing all white if she’s invited or else not attending.

People who buy white to wear at a wedding are attention seeking to the highest order. Some would you believe even start 1 or even 2 whole threads about it.

I'm a little in awe of OP for her FY all attitude though. I hope her mum's wedding event is gleeful & her brother & SIL don't try and take over.

Can you post a link to the dress she actually saw?

Your SIL sounds fantastic, no flower girls, no bridesmaids and she will be front and centre of the day like she should be!

And to top it all off MIL has forked out for all this. Absolute Queen, slaaayyyyy

OP why are you engaging with posters and winding yourself up in the process? Peeps are poking the bear and you are making it worse for yourself.
Do yourself a favour and pull out of it, it's 50 pages of mostly drivel over a dress that you are going to wear. It's not your wedding or your mums for that matter why keep saying it is? If b and his gf were that desperate to get married they would on the cheap and have a party, so to say it's you mum that is paying for it otherwise it would so ahead isn't really true is it? It would be more low key but still a wedding.

Good pair of Loakes would last a good ten to fifteen years. But as shoes they would have cost more than the dress in question. They are good shoes.

So it's all just flim flam.

You've a polyester dress that you are determined to wear. Even if it upsets your future sister in law.

There is no actual wedding party apart from the bride and groom.

I'm hoping they can just give your mother her money back and be done with the pair of you.

Why would you start off your brother's marriage to this woman in a fight? There is no reason unless you already have beef with your soon-to-be-sister-in-law and you want to really grind it in by wearing a dress she has already vetoed because she sees it as white. It is white. She's not wrong. It's just not a wedding dress. Despite that, it bothers her. It's her fricking wedding, not yours. Give her this win. Get back at her later if you absolutely must.

You are likely to see her at birthdays and holidays for however long this marriage lasts. Why start "bulsht" over a stupid dress at the beginning? Especially since it's not a dress where everyone gasps at it and says, oh wow! So stunning. It's a nice, garden party dress, not spectacular. Not oh wow. Just nice.

If you like the dress, keep it and wear it, but NOT to this wedding. Find an appropriate dress. It's not rocket science. You can do it. We have faith in you.

All the colours out there in the world - you could wear a dress that is based on red, pink orange, yellow, green, blue, purple let alone all the shades of these

but you chose white / ivory

why? Just why?

thst is the bride colour - you are not the bride!

when so many other non offensive / non contentious colours are available - why would you chose to wear a ‘bridal colour’

take a step back and get yourself a different colour frock - this wedding is not your show .

I think the dress is fine but if it would upset the bride or my brother, I would just buy a different dress. I would know that she was being difficult and ridiculous but I would not let such a minor thing sour my relationship with my brother- and it will if you upset his wife

@princesspicker

You’re going to wear it aren’t you? Really no point anyone else responding.

That's OK! I'm not invited so I definitely won't be attending. HTH.

She did post the dress about 8 pages in of 40 odd pages on the original post and I agree its fine.

Mum bought them for him more than a decade ago. He was meant to wear them as his “something old”. Mum said she suggested that and he seemed to agree. Somehow bridezilla convinced him to waste money on a new pair.

You don’t need to buy new things all the time. New money class people buy new things at every opportunity to show off. Old money people recycle their outfits. Just look at the royal family. They’re constantly recycling their outfits. Especially Kate.

Totally agree with this, why are people being so nasty about a simple dress question.

The convention is not that you should not wear white, its that you shoudl not overshadow the bride and this will not overshadow the bride.

I think most people on here are starting to see the real reason you don't like the bride. Nothing to do with the dress.

No it won’t, because it’s a fairly dull dress.