AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

It's absolutely fine! It's a beautiful elegant dress and she'll get over herself. I remember things being a big deal whilst planning for our wedding but honestly now don't remember any of them!

Your the one entitled let the bride and groom enjoy their day you may aswell find a brides dress ana go for it

I feel like I wish I knew the bride so I could warn her against marrying into the family 😬

Even though the dress isn't traditionally bridal, the colour is. It's polite to leave white just for the bride, if that's what she wants. But you know this and don't care. So wear it and see what happens to your relationship with your brother. Clue - he will choose his wife. What you decide now will set the tone for your future relationships. FAFO

And yet you talk about others having 0 class... ???

You should show some respect to your brother seeing as his mum has paid for some of the wedding...(Oh and he's probably spending a lot more of his own money)

Why are you acting like she's only your mum and not his? And why are you acting like her finances are somehow tied to you and what you want to do?

And why are you so insistent on causing upset/drama on your brother's wedding day?

Children in the family meaning your daughter? And there we have it!

If you're looking for an alternative, I once went to a wedding where the bride's mother (aged early 40s) caused quite a stir by strolling down the aisle clad from head to toe in black. It was topped off by a massive (black) straw hat with a veil. I have to say that she looked absolutely stunning, but it was definitely a bold choice, especially in Cyprus in the middle of summer!

The bride was my friend, but I have absolutely no memory of what she looked like.

and yet you’re still bitter about it and jealous about it and probably about the fact she has no bridesmaids or flower girls, also that doesn’t mean she’s self centred. You clearly hate that your child isn’t involved and that’s their choice.

Do you really not know what a golden child is?.

Just go all out and wear this OP. I'm sure the bride won't mind...

Mum knows a lot about manners, probably more than you ever will. Stop picking on her.

If a dress has white (or cream) as the majority colour then I would say that's not something most brides would be happy with. It's pretty simple social etiquette.

Your comments about mum paying so it's her wedding celebration of her son getting married, wanting to plan, make food decisions, being cross bride doesn't want the groom wearing old shoes, etc sounds really bizarre and I'm hoping this bride to be realises what weird dynamics she's marrying into tbh.

You can’t ’pick on’ someone you have never met and has no idea what you’re saying about them on an anonymous forum.
It is bad manners and classless to tell guests at a wedding that you have funded the wedding. There, I appear to know more about manners than you and your mother do!

I think this one might be more appropriate 😬

Everybody knows the king paid for his children’s weddings. Are you saying the king has no manners?

Course you can. You and others are singling out my mum as the problem when none of this would be an issue if they involved the family more.

When I got married I wouldn’t have cared if someone had worn all white, nevermind something like that. Someone could have worn a wedding dress to my wedding and I wouldn’t have cared. It’s not like people would have gotten confused about who the bride was 🤣 Everyone knew whose wedding it was.

I wore a knee-length white dress with a blue floral print to a friend’s wedding and she didn’t care. It’s absolutely ridiculous and insecure for a bride to be thinking or caring about what her guests are wearing.

But if you know it’s going to upset her, then don’t do it and find another dress. It’s not something worth falling out over.

With all tje drama it's not likely the bride to be would forget for a while.
It's not just about style, but colour. Lovely dress, but it should not be worn to this wedding.
And any guest saying the bride should get over herself should not attend.

My parents paid for my whole wedding. They didn’t demand a say in anything. It was a gift.

can your mum not afford to gift the money and therefore is affronted and demands a say? Because her behaviour is very crass.

I think we're getting a picture the OP is slightly 'main character' energy, so sounds like future SIL is trying to mitigate opportunities for the OP to try to upstage her. In this situation some sartorial direction may be necessary.

I have a feeling that OP has actually posted about this just to make sure that wearing the dress definitely WILL upset the bride 😅

I haven’t said your mum is ‘the problem’. Just that it would be bad manners to tell everyone that she paid for the wedding. Which it would be. I don’t think your mum is the problem. I think it sounds a lot like you might be the problem.
Why do you want involving when you don’t like her?

I wouldn't have a problem with you wearing that because it's clearly not a wedding dress. But if the bride has asked you to chose something else then you should respect that as it is her wedding.

Mum IS paying so of course she can afford it!

I said you and others. Another poster said my mum and I are “partners in crime”. Just SO OTT.

And how can making it clear she’s paid for the wedding be bad manners when people are saying their parents paid for their weddings - meaning it’s a normal thing.

Why is everyone defending the spoiled brat bride?