AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Of course it’s alien to you. You aren’t used to people not agreeing with you aren’t you? The poll is only 28% agree and I doubt they are all genuine posters and more likely you and your ‘mates’ creating profiles to boost your support

but let’s face it, it’s fuck all to do with the dress and more about how you can’t cope with not being centre of attention. If we removed the dress thing, you’d see a far different view point

Because OP is a single mother and so the whole world must revolve around her and her DD.

I did give them toys but they didn’t use them and she didn’t like their house and preferred to go to her grandparents house to play.

I think we do understand your life. You and your mum are best friends and you expect everyone else to fall in line with you. Neither of you can do anything wrong. Your brother drives for an hour to help you with childcare but you won’t even give him the decency of being kind and welcoming to the woman he loves.
I am wondering where your dad is in all this, as you have mentioned your ‘parents’. I’m going to take a guess that he keeps his head down for a quiet life.

Aka she didn’t like the fact they likely had rules whereas granny’s house has no rules and she can do whatever she wants without consequences just like when she’s with mummy

So diddums didn’t like the toys you packed. She sounds spoilt too.
Damn it I’ve fallen for this again! It’s obviously not real what’s wrong with me?! 😂

That's a white dress, don't wear it. If you have to ask the question, the answer is don't wear it .

Find another bloody dress that isn't white. It isn't hard.

Maybe if you made the effort to take her there more often she’d be used to their house.

Once they start their own family, he’s not going to be driving over an hour to your house to look after your daughter. Is that why you’re resentful of this wedding? They’re not going to always go to your mums either once they have a baby, so what will you do then?

I'm getting married in 4 weeks time and if a guest wore that to mine I wouldn't give it another thought.

I’d say it’s real. Sadly I know people like OP in real life.

They have toys for her there. They are different to her other toys. So they are more exciting.

So basically what I said before. They have no rules, pander to you and her, whereas your brother has rules and doesn’t bend over backwards for you and her

Are you being rude about a child? Uncalled for.

Does the bride come from a different country or culture?
I am assuming that you are in the UK, although your ideas are at a variance from many posters.
How long has the happy couple been together? Didn't they invite everyone to their new house when they set up home together?

Has brother met the future in-laws?

Some things, like bumping into siblings at parents house happens in my family too. We do occasionally visit each other and even invite each other to Christmas etc. But probably used to see each other at parents house.

Only 8 pages to go. So many questions and such little time

You’ve bee incredibly rude about your brother and his wife to be. That’s uncalled for too.

You mean they are normal grandparents?

Oh, that's nice. But the bride has said no to it, or anything similar that is largely cream or white. OP feels it is her right to do as she pleases and upset the bride.

They can’t be that normal given how you turned out.

I’m as English as they come thank you very much, what about my ideas seem foreign to you?

I don’t know exactly how long they’ve been together. A long time maybe a decade. Yes they invited us and we went. She even took a family photo of us there. My brother has met her parents, yes. Anything else? I can make a third thread x

But his partner doesn't count in your eyes, because she isn't your blood family. You've said that.

So, for the purpose of helping, only he counts. So once again, why wouldn't you reciprocate?

She can help him. Dont get why this is complicated to you?

Please don’t make a third thread. You are just baiting people now and loving the attention- even though it’s bad.

I mean, 100s of people think this is a wind up. Because it is palpably ridiculous. Like some sitcom trope of the entitled Hyacinth Bouquet sister (but desperately single... And cannot think why?) it's like you have gone through threads (or asked ChatGPT to do it for you) to come up with the most ludicrous and petty scenario ever.

Because any sane, sensible comments are ignored or you have an excuse for why not. Because most comments you type are filled with bile and bitterness and more than a touch of condescension (whilst also being entirely ignorant of any actual etiquette). Ooo and the weird expectations around family and demanded childcare at the drop of a hat. And comments about class...

It is hard to believe anyone could really be like this? Because it reads like a caricature. Lashing out wildly over what seems to be a relatively trivial request. To send a picture of the dress to your brother.

Hey. Maybe this is real. In which case, perhaps reflect on your behaviour and take some of the (much repeated advice) to swap the dress for the same one in a different colour and smile and be nicer to your brother and his soon-to-be wife.

Nope I would not wear that to a wedding. It's mostly white for a start and I'm also of the old fashioned opinion that you don't wear patterns to weddings. It's a nice summer dress but not for a wedding.