AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

OP are you ok? You genuinely need help

Apologies, I had not. I have now. OP is lucky to be invited at all. I would be eloping if I were the brother.

EDIT: to explain I was trying to give my initial impression of the dress without clouding the judgment with the 27 pages of thread, which is assumed were about cream/white discourse. I had no idea.

Maybe we should make some suggestions?

I am so convinced that this thread is just click bait.

It surely must be…

The man that didn’t marry you dodged a bullet.

She will be wearing a fawn flowery dress. We haven’t had any communication with them, no.

I thought that you would be pleased your brother is not marrying a blood relative!! That would be incest! 😬😬😬

🤮🤮🤮🤮

So you'll be totally down to help your brother have a lovely, peaceful wedding he's happy to look back on by abiding by his request not to wear anything white then yes?*
And you'll be absolutely willing to help with childcare if they have children right?

As your brother is blood family ?

This would be perfect

Like your brother, who'll you'll help to have a peaceful wedding, and you will help with childcare if they have children?

He’s still choosing to marry her though.

But he's the one that has asked you.

Don't make this into a you vs his wife challenge OP. You'll lose. He didn't choose you to be his sister but he's chosen her to be his wife. If you really meant more to him than she does, he would have said no to her request. He didn't which means he's not on your side here for all he knows how things are done in your family. You stand to lose a lot here just because of your own stubbornness and selfish attitude.

I'm not sure I believe that (especially considering his comments that people might talk about you, he's probably overheard people talking about you wearing white to other weddings), but even if he doesn't care about what you wear he will care about his bride's feelings.

If you think that then don’t click and don’t comment? I’m talking to people about something happening in my life. If you don’t want to be part of this conversation I am not going to force you!!

That is really mean to say.

If the bride is wearing a traditional wedding dress, I really don't see the issue.
If she's wearing something more modern/casual/toned down then I think it borders on being inappropriate, it looks a bit bridal.

These comments were actually directed at my mum. What was actually said was that it would be inappropriate because guests would find it inappropriate and would talk about me/us (someone wearing a dress like the one she say at my mums) behind our backs. Which gives you an idea of the types of guests they’re inviting. She is pretending this is about making sure we “present well” which is so insulting. As if we need her direction to know how to present well at a wedding.

‘Type of guests they’re inviting’. Is this all because you’re a raging snob and you don’t like her because you perceive her to be of a lower social class than you?

As if we need her direction to know how to present well at a wedding.

Well, clearly you do need someone to direct you.
As you have said on several posts - that you and your mother commonly wear white or cream to other people's weddings.

Not sure who you would listen to mind, as you aren't prepared to listen to the hundreds of people on both of your threads, and you aren't prepared to listen to the person whose wedding it actually is !

It’s not a perception it is a fact. But it is not the point because whatever class she was from, we and especially mum know how to dress and have been to many many weddings.

But that’s why you don’t like her, isn’t it? You think she’s beneath your family, and you’re a snob.

What is all the drama here? Can't be bothered to read two threads. Does this actually matter? If you're not sure about the dress, just get another one. Blimey.

And your brother is marrying into her family. What if they do it differently in their family?