AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Are there rules about when it is allowed to make a second thread?

Of course not. You can create as many threads as you want. Doesn’t mean people won’t think you’re a bit of a dick for it though.

Why have the families not met before the wedding?

The bridezilla is being unreasonable. It’s a really popular wedding guest dress that comes in lots of colours and patterns, def not like a traditional wedding dress! To keep things cordial I’d swop it for the pink one though if you’ve got time - not a battle worth picking!

She is 4. She won’t understand it if I said that it’s ridiculous that you want me to upset my DD in case a grown woman has a hissy fit about a dress!!

Years ago on MN we used to say trip trap....

A 4 year old won’t understand that a wedding is about the bride? That’s unusual.

No, I am principled.

The bride hasn’t said the dress is too white. She hasn’t even seen it.

And you brother/SIL are as well by asking their guests not to wear white, not letting your mother bulldoze THEIR wedding and refusing to drop everything to cater to you and your unpleasant family. Why is that an admirable trait in your eyes when it's your principles but not when it's your brother/SIL's principles?

Also you might have principles but you have no class or manners.

I’m annoyed with myself for still reading this total bullshit. But if for the tiniest percentage it might be true… tell your 4 year old that your dress has change?! Wtf?! Please 😂. As if your 4 year old will give a tiny shite if you change your dress to another ‘princess’ one.
ps anyone else think she fancies her brother and is jealous of her sister?! No? Just me? 🫣🤢

She’s 4 and you haven’t told her the world doesn’t revolve around mummy and that a wedding is all about the bride? This is down to your ex walking out on you isn’t it? Because let’s face it if you truly called the wedding off you wouldn’t be desperately trying to recreate it would you. You couldn’t provide your daughter the chance to be a princess so you’re forcing it on someone else’s wedding.

if you truly gave a shit you’d tell your daughter that you’ve found a better dress, reality is you don’t give a fuck about her or the bride. You’d rather show yourself up and cause drama in front of her. She’ll remember her mother as an attention seeking bitch who throws a hissy fit because everyone ain’t bowing down her entitled self

grow the fuck and start acting your age

also you aren’t principled at all, if you were you’d change the dress. You’re just a fussy, petty, vindictive, spiteful bitch.

If I don’t want people to turn up wearing white or floral dresses with cream backgrounds I would say that on the invite. Simple.

It seems she might be more capable of understanding than you are.

Anyway, it's funny how mother-zilla you are, using your DD to buldoze over everything.
You have to go because it is her first wedding - even if you really shouldn't as you see it just as an inconvenience, you are annoyed she isn't a flower girl, you ae annoyed that your brother now dares to check plans with his fiancee instead of babysitting whenever you need, and now you can't change a dress because how upset would your DD be.
In reality she would be totally fine. You can take your princess dress and go for an ice cream together, she would be equally happy. But yiu can't be expected to be polite to people around you because yiu have a DD...

I agree too its a lovely dress for a wedding with the floral pattern. If it was plain white or white with lace it would be a different story. Some of the responses on here are OTT

"I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!"

If that doesn't sum it up, what does????

She’s going to be your sister in law for life. For a lifetime of peace don’t wear it.

A grown woman is having a hissy about a dress OP, and it's not the bride!!

The whole point of not wearing white is not to be mistaken for the bride. I think it’s gone too far. The dress is fine

Probably the strangest comment yet.

To be fair, the OP is so obsessed with being the princess she put it in her username. She somehow decided that her brother should arrange a princessing opportunity for her and picked his wedding as the next best thing after her own.

I suppose majority of the posters in this thread are now reading only to see how much more batshit she will get.

I mean anyone with a fucking brain knows not to turn up in a predominantly white or ‘cream’ dress which fyi yours is despite your attempts creating multiple usernames. But I guess entitled spoilt brats like you need it spelt out for them.

Anyway they’ve told you, you can’t cope with it, likely because you’re used to you clicking your fingers, stomping your feet and your brother falling all over trying to please you and you can’t cope with the fact he’s finally grown a pair and backing off from his overbearing entitled bratty sister.

Another really strange comment. He is my brother and sometimes I will need help with childcare. Does your family not help each other?

Depends on the type of the wedding. This kind of dress is in the category a bride at smaller/registry office/more casual/beach style wedding might choose.

And some people just consider wearing bigger patches of white/cream/ivory on their wedding rude. There's not a single common understanding.

The dress is fine, however, you seem to be choosing the dress to spite your future sister-in-law. Did your mother have a contract made when handing over the money to your brother and his fiancée for the wedding stating that herself and her daughter will make decisions on her sons and your brothers wedding? If not then keep out.

You know that it will cause upset to your future sister-in-law (potentially the future mother to your brothers future children or is already mother to his children) then why would you continue to proceed with this decision?

It’s one day! Their day - no one else’s. Let them have it!

If you do go ahead with your spiteful decision (may not have been spiteful when you initially chose the dress, but is now you now she is not wanting dresses like the one you have chosen). Let’s hope one of the many people who have seen this post are at the wedding and doesn’t show your brother of them wife!