AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

The bride has asked it not be worn.

Isn't it immature to deliberately antagonise and upset close family members on their wedding day?

Get off Mumsnet and have a quiet think about why you feel the need to be so cruel to your brother and SIL? Stop encouraging your mum to take over their wedding too, or "take credit" for funding it (which you know full well is rude and classless), as you'll soon be comforting her in her estrangement from your DB.

OP, let's try this in as simple terms as possible:
It is TOTALLY NORMAL and not at all controlling or weird for a bride to not want people to wear white, white-based, or cream/ivory dresses to their wedding. The VAST MAJORITY of people who understand, you know, anything, about societal norms would understand and respect that.
By ignoring the request so you can wear your dress of preference is at best deliberately obtuse and at worst outright nasty and hoping for drama.

Yes. There is such a thing as wedding guest dresses. Hobbs, phase eight, john lewis and next have sections on their websites.
This dress is listed by hobbs as a wedding guest dress.
Hobbs website may have crashed today. Everyone is looking at wedding guest dresses

I called thread 3 a while back 😂

OP and her mum rocking up to the brother and fiancée's wedding.

This is totally normal you know! The brother knows this is how they dress for weddings, what's everyone's problem with it? It's the OP and mum's special day, after all, the mum paid for it and the OP is a glorified toddler and no one can tell them what to do! She'll stamp her feet and scream till she's sick!
Anyway this'll really show the bride to be who's in charge, the probably perfectly lovely mean woman totally deserves it for daring to make totally normal decisions for her and her fiancé's big day.

Either someone's lurking under their bridge having fun at everyone's expense, or the OP is just one of those really horrible people that seems to take a large amount of pleasure sticking it to anyone they vaguely don't like. If true, I really hope that after the wedding the brother and SIL run a mile from the OP and mum's toxic family dynamic.

The dress is perfectly acceptable. It looks nothing like g like a wedding dress which is the only point of the “white” discussion. I can’t believe how crazy some people can get about these things.

“Wedding” and “Occasion” dresses are frequently interchangeable though. It would be hard to say that white with pink flowered version wasn’t being bought for a formal garden party whilst another colourway for a wedding.

Were you here for thread 1? I stated that versions of this dress have been worn at Ascot and other occasions. But it is listed as a wedding guest dress. Just look at the Hobbs website. That dress has been googled thousands of times today.

Plus, the brother has grown up in a family with strongly opinionated women. He has chosen a strongly opinionated bride, because that is the female norm, for him. So that's that issue sorted.

It’s a beautiful dress & perfect for a summer wedding ! Don’t know what the problem is ..?

Particularly as OP doesn't ask him directly but expects her mother to act as a go-between!

Agree! This is as unhinged as yesterday's one where the husband was going to tell the neighbours about the ground rules for using their own garden 😂Both either rage bate or people have seriously lost the plot.

The bride has not seen the dress in question

It's got nothing to do with the dress. It's pure rage, hatred, spite and envy directed towards the bride from the OP (if real at all, as it's totally bonkers).

Well her dress is specifically under Wedding Guest Dresses and many, many retailers have specific wedding guest section with white and cream dresses in them.

And the point is that it does not look bridal. I would object if it was bridal looking but it is not.

Lovely dress!
I don't think it's white but if the bride does
She needs glasses!

It’s floral and not a white dress - no one will confuse you with the bride

People still posting their opinion on the dress really need to go to the opening post, press 'See All' and read all the OP's posts.
Ideally read her posts on her first thread too.

This is nothing to do with whether MNers think the dress is suitable or not.
Honestly, read her posts.

Am I looking at the correct dress?? You look like a princess???

With another person & coloured accessories this dress would be ok. With a difficult person just wear a different one - it sounds like there'll be other battles.

I cannot imagine being as entitled and petty as you and your mum are - it's unfathomable to me.

its THEIR wedding day, regardless of who paid for it - so just DO AS THEY ASK, and do stop behaving like a spoilt little brat who's throwing a tantrum over a dress - you sound ridiculous.

I'm sure the next thread will be wondering why yourself and your mother aren't invited to be a part of the children the couple go on to have.

Utterly abysmal to behave like you are and be so oblivious about your own behaviour.

You don't have to like her, your brother loves her, so get over it.

So you agree it is a white dress?

Wow. You sound so filled with anger and hate towards your new SIL. She must be very pretty and happy and excited for her big day and being the centre of attention. Put the shoe on the other foot. If you’d made a request for your wedding wouldn’t it be nice if guests just said ok and followed suit.
the dress you’ve chosen is nice if a bit grumpy but I think it will ensure you’re not in danger of standing out on the day so that’s something at least.

set a good example for your DD and model generous, loving kind behaviour for her.

@YorksMa Do you think the two threads are real? They are posted in AIBU then argue that they’re right and everyone else is wrong.
If it’s real it’s completely batshit!

Yeah, yeah, yeah