AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Not if it might mean having you to put up with you. You've already said they don't make an effort and I suspect it's because they don't like you and don't want to deal with you.

OP, why did you post the question? You’ve got your answer - for every person who thinks you’re right, three think YABU - but you have no intention of changing your mind, so what was the point?

She stops him from visiting us, my brother very much would like to spend more time with his niece. Mum now has to ask her for availability and can’t just ask him when I need them to help with childcare.

And thats the shark well and truly jumped.
Most amusing but you went too far.
10/10 for effort and commitment to the role.

Translation "Oh no, brother is not dancing attendance on us and dropping everything to do our bidding now he has a soon to be wife and he's making her the priority! Oh no, we can't just drop in on them whenever we want and I can't carry on using them for childcare whenever I want." You really are a nightmare.

I do actually, I also have a sister in law and I would be more than happy to explain to my daughter that I will have to wear a different colour dress because the wedding his her Aunties day to be a princess.

IF this is all true you clearly hate your future sister in law a want to wear the dress just to spite her. Why not just admit it?

Why would getting married change anything? They don’t have children so can’t blame that

They have just looked at the dress, and not read your goady ridiculous posts.

It's irrelevant if 99% were to think that was a reasonable dress to wear to a wedding, the bride has said not to. The end.

I have genuinely never heard anyone state that the bride is not the priority at her own wedding.

You got your mum to vote didn’t you 🤣

This is hilarious. You are either enjoying the cool of your bridge-based home, or utterly classless and thick.

Quite a rude comment.

Have you considered that op may have anxiety and difficulty making decisions.
Most people agree the dress is fine. But another colour may be better.

Why would I make that up? The whole family knows she’s like this. She’s not just a bridezilla she’s a personzilla.

You don’t know that. And my posts are not goady.

Thank you! x

Has your brother said he would very much like to spend more time with his niece or are you making up a narrative this his fiancée is stopping him?

You’ve been utterly vile about them and yet you expect them to offer you childcare? Of course he has to check with her what their plans are before making any commitments, that’s what normal couples do!

You could easily tell your daughter you’ve swapped the dress for another colour, it’s the same bloody dress but clearly you are going to wear the dress, knowing it will cause upset but you don’t care. Why have you even started two threads when you’ve already made your decision to wear it??

Individuals should be able to make their own independent decisions. If he is available for childcare why does she need to have a say in it? She doesn’t need to join him, although that would of course be helpful.

Familyzilla more like. She refuses to dance to the family’s tune because you’re a bunch of demanding arseholes, I reckon.

Two things can be true at once: the dress is fine, and it would be silly for her to be pissed off if you wore it, AND you and your mum sound ridiculously entitled, controlling and unreasonable.

Because when you marry someone you want to spend more time with them. Because the other person has a say in what goes on in day to day life. Because when you're in a relationship with someone it's not cool to make plans without checking with them. Because unless he's said to you "I'd love to spend more time with you but SIL is an ogre who won't let me" then you're only speculating. There's a chance he might be thrilled to have an excuse to not be around such a nasty lot of people who are saying such vile things about the woman he loves more than anyone else.

Perhaps read the OP's posts before making your diagnosis.

I can’t work out if you’re being deliberately obtuse and difficult or if you really are that unaware.

When you are a couple you make plans together, as well as separately. He would need to check with her in case they have plans to go out with friends or see her family. Surely you understand this?

You said she’s not just a bridezilla, she’s a personzilla but it would be helpful if she looked after your child as well? If you can’t stand her, why would you want her help?

And you’ve ignored my other questions. You’ve made the decision to wear the dress, nothing will change your mind so why did you need to start two threads about it?

If they don’t have plans together he doesn’t have any excuse then?

Maybe he doesn’t want to and finally has someone to support his decision to stay away.

He simply might not want to. That is a valid reason. He doesn’t owe you childcare.