AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

Are you twelve? Because you’re behaving like you are.
it’s the brides day, she can request and be as controlling as she wants.
she’s asked people not to wear a dress like your going to wear.
don’t be a dick. Just roll your eyes and wear something else.
ita not worth the drama of all this. Just let her have her bloody day. And for god sake don’t get pissed and start on at all the guests how your mum paid for it all.

welcome the woman into your family, don’t throw your brother out.

Then why is he reminding you not to wear white, and saying he's worried guests will talk bad about you?

It sounds like you haven’t explained to your DD that the important woman at a wedding is the bride, not the groom's sister. What a surprise…

Never said it was hanging. She saw a dress at my mums. It was laid out on a bed. Not the one I’m wearing for the wedding.

you’ve overreached here OP.

It’s common for you all to wear white, really?

Because now I’ve shown my DD and she loves it on me. She said I look like a princess. If I change it I would have to explain to her that mummy won’t wear the princess dress and it will upset her.

you yourself need to understand that not everyone is as weird as you and not everyone wants their guests in white at a wedding you help her marrying into your family full of inconsiderate people

I have visions of gangs of Aunt Sarah (Derry Girls) rocking up in their bridal outfits.

Yes. Totally normal in our family. We’re not that fussy and take pride in that.

Couldn’t you wear a different princess dress?

No you just tell her you found an even nicer one that you’re really excited to wear.

You’re pissed off she isn’t a bridesmaid aren’t you. That’s why you don’t like SIL and are being so obnoxious.

Likely because she has made him do it.

Sounds pretty fussy to demand you wear what you want...

I read the first thread and commented and now another one! , The Hobbs dress is available in lots of other colours including navy. Even the pinker one would do as the flowers go all to the middle so with a jacket no actual plain white on show. And now you want our opinions again. White cream champagne and so on based dresses should not be worn to a wedding and if the bride has said no it certainly can’t be.

my stronger opinion this time is that this is not your wedding or your mums or your daughters. It’s your brothers and his fiancées, it’s their special day. I feel so very sorry for the bride to be marrying into this utterly selfish setup where you all think it’s about you and your dress. Just pick another dress for gods sake and grow up!

He likely knows you quite well and doesn’t want his gf upset. He also knows you won’t care about upsetting her.

FYI it’s your brothers fiance not gf, just another example of you trying to put her in her place.
You seem determined to make a point at the wedding and upset the bride. If you wear this dress knowing it will cause upset I’ll be surprised if your brother ever talks to you again.

And of course the wishes and feelings of your young child are more important than the wishes and feelings of the bride…

That poor woman - imagine marrying into a family like this one seems to be! I hope the groom is worth it, because OP and her mother will no doubt be causing self-centred drama for years to come.

What about what is normal in her family?

The bride is not related to me and is not my offspring, so of course she isn’t the priority.

Rude comment about our family. A few rude comments about our family actually. You don’t know us.

If you aren't fussy, why would it be so difficult for you to wear something else ?

I don’t want to be policed on what to wear. I’ve answered this many times.

I'm very glad I don't know any of you. You all sound horrible. I pity the bride, she must love your brother very much to marry into his awful, selfish, tacky, rude and demanding family with no manners or concern for anyone else. And you're raising your DD to be the same, how sad for her.

All this over a £129 dress. I’ll look forward to your ‘why won’t my bitch SIL let me have a relationship with my niece/nephew?’ in 18 months time!!

That won’t happen. They will want any future children to have a relationship with their cousins.

I understand that one more percentage now agrees with me in this thread as it has gone up from 23% to 24%