AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

😂😂 I can’t imagine why!

I don't think it was the same dress that the bride saw.

Because I think that as a grown woman I know how to dress myself so should not need to ask for permission about what to wear? Makes sense.

Well if you don't care about the relationship with them then maybe skip the wedding altogether rather than ruin their day with a dress that may well upset them & constant digs about how much your Mum paid for the wedding and how selfish the couple are to not take her demands errrr advice and how self centered they are for not having flower girls etc.
I suspect if you skip the wedding they'll be at least a tiny bit relived. You sound spiteful,rude, argumentative and immature.

Isn’t it a bit immature to wear a dress to your brothers wedding that they don’t want you to because you don’t like your sil

I’m not going to miss the wedding. I’m the sister of the groom. It will be my DDs first wedding. She is really excited about my dress and said I look like a princess.

"Glad the poll shows lots of people agree with me now that they have seen the dress from the start." Quote from the OP

🤣🤣🤣

But you are not a grown woman, you are an exceptionally childish and spiteful personage who is not aware of the most basic wedding etiquette and is taking great pleasure in going against the bride's expressed wishes.

The other poll had 18% agree with me.

Your behaviour isn’t mature. You’re behaving very spitefully.

Ah I see. You didn't get your own wedding so you're planning to hijack theirs so you can swan about in a princess dress trying to solicit compliments whilst trying make the day all about you because you are The Groom's Sister and SO VERY IMPORTANT. You really are spiteful and immature.

Erm that’s 82% disagree
Do you understand maths?

No, it’s obviously not my wedding. No dress I wear would make people think that. But I should be able to have a good time with my DD and she likes this dress.

She DIDN'T "try to send a message through mum".

She didn't know that the dress she saw at your mum's house, that she said was too white, was actually YOUR dress.

She thought it was your mum's.

Hence she asked your mum not to wear white.

At the time they were discussing what your mum was going to wear to the wedding.
All perfectly normal, happens re thousands of weddings all across the country.

Following on from that, she and your DB sent out a message reminding guests about the 'nothing too white' dress code.

Again, perfectly normal for weddings these days. And in line with wedding etiquette.

If she knew that the dress she'd seen was actually yours, she would probably have specifically asked YOU not to wear white.
But as your devious mum "covered for you", she didn't know.

Your actual dress has more white than the one your SiL2B saw at your mum's, so you KNOW she will not want you to wear it.

But you clearly hate your SiL2B, as you have shown through all the things you have called her on your threads, so you are going to wear it whatever anyone says.

You seem gleeful at the idea that she will be upset at you wearing this dress.

I think she will chalk it up to her SiL being desperate for attention, trying to compensate for her own wedding being cancelled.
Or just sheer bloody-mindedness on your part.

There are certainly people involved in this wedding who have no class, and it's pretty clear who they are.

Her brother is concerned she's going to wear white without seeing her dress or being told anything about it.
I think this is typical behaviour from his sister and he knows she's going to try to upset his bride in some way.

It’s not about either you or your DD though. It’s their wedding, not yours.

I actually wish your soon to be sister In law used mums net and would see what an entitled brat your being and take you off the guest list. It’s a normal thing for brides an grooms to have an opinion or say on what people wear not to mention you may be stood in family photos let’s hope not for your sister in law sake but you’re choosing to be disrespectful

I really don’t think my brother cares what I wear and he knows women in our family wear whatever they want including white to weddings all the time.

But she is a control freak so forced him to send out a message about.

Why should you be able to have a good time? It’s not about you.

But you were saying in the other thread it's partly your Mum's wedding because she's given them money. So no, it's not OBVIOUS you don't know this isn't your wedding.

So your enjoyment and your dress are more important than the bride and groom being comfortable and happy at their wedding. Let's add selfish to the "spiteful and immature" tag.

Admit it. You won't send a picture of the dress to your brother because you know he'll say no. So you're going to just show up in a dress that looks, in this picture, very white and potentially upset the couple getting married on what should be a happy day for them. Selfish, egotistical, rude, immature and spiteful. I'm so glad you're not in my family.

Christ! Bringing DD into it now. I’m pretty sure your DD wouldn’t give a shiny shit what dress you wore and it will make entirely no difference to how much of a good time she will have.

Mum did know what I was wearing. She told my brothers GF when she was showing her the dresses that we had picked out a dress for me too so that she would stop pestering everyone about what we would wear. She just didn’t tell her what it looked like.

Actually agree. I wore a dress very similar to this for my brothers wedding. Literally no-one gave a shit.

Ah so everyone in your family is tacky by wearing white to weddings. I suddenly see the problem; your brother and SIL obviously know you all do this and so are asking, politely, not to wear white.

The more you reply, the more I’m calling bullshit.
If it is true and you wear the dress, I hope they refuse to have you in any of their pictures, it would serve you right.