AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Your mum helped them to pay. You did not.

@princesspicker it is impossible for people on this thread to tell you if you’re being unreasonable or not if they can’t see the dress

You say it’s not white, someone thinks otherwise. No one here has seen the dress so unless you post it, no one can help!

Her day not yours. Stop making it about you.

But haven't they just said avoid white, which is quite a normal bit of UK weddings etiquette? And the paid for things argument does not and should not go down well, gifts of cash to fund a wedding should be gifts from the heart, given freely and appreciated but not leveraged.

Weird that anyone should care what someone else wears to a wedding. But also weird that you don’t just buy another dress (sales are on). Life’s too short.

I had a white with floral pattern dress to go to a wedding, the zip broke on my way out the door. I. Hindsight I am glad it did!! White, white background, blocks of white are unacceptable at a wedding. There is plenty of dresses out there. Your wedding being called off is no excuse to follow basic wedding etiquette. Don’t wear white, anything that looks white, or a same colour as the bridesmaids. Why can’t you just find something else?

To be fair, even if she does post a picture of the dress, exactly half the replies will say it's too white, and the other half will say it's not white at all

You don't like her, perhaps you are jealous that their wedding is going ahead. Hope you are prepared to lose your relationship with your brother.

POST
A
PICTURE
OF
THE
FREAKING
DRESS
ALREADY

First of all I don't see why your mum helping pay for the wedding gives you a right to wear whatever you want. Even if you yourself had paid to it, you still have to follow wedding etiquette.

But this has no changed from "it's not a white dress" to "she can't demand what I wear," which implies to me that it is indeed a white dress.

OP, if there is the remotest chance you might upset the bride by wearing this dress, then DON’T WEAR IT!! You’ve asked for opinions: people have said it’s almost certainly too white - you can ignore us all and upset your brother and future SIL, or you can be guided by sense and go and find something a bit more colourful/less white.

You sound like you dont like your brothers fiance very much, youve said nothing kind or positive about them or their special day at all, why deliberately upset people just because you can.

I don't understand why you don't ask her if your white background dress is ok. Some brides will have an issue with it and some won't.

Your a close enough relative that you can ask her directly.

SHOW US THE BLOODY DRESS !!!!

Just get a new dress, the drama is not worth it.

How hard is it not to wear anything white on someone’s wedding day? I swear there’s a thread every week.

A white dress with a floral pattern on it is still a white dress.

Unlikely

Perhaps the bride is zilla-ing but omg op you sound horrendous!

what has your cancelled wedding or your mum paying towards it got to do with anything?

why would I say something kind or positive about them in a thread about my dress?!

Rubbish, whether she had seen the dress or not is not ‘outing’. She’s either seen it or not and that is a material (no pun intended) fact. I have bothered to read your thread but, as I said, your story keeps changing. How is anyone supposed to know now what is fact and what is made up?

How do you think anyone can give their opinion on the blasted dress if they haven’t seen it?

Your responses are becoming increasingly ridiculous and mention of mother helping them is starting to sound jealous. Perhaps everyone would be happier if you didn’t go to the wedding.

Because if you liked her you wouldn't be going out of your way to annoy her on her wedding day!

You’re either drunk or fibbing.

His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white…. my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white

It doesn’t “keep changing”. I tried to be discreet about the details in the OP then clarified the situation

I’m so confused by what the op has said!

You're trying to get views on whether a specific dress is appropriate for a wedding where the bride has very clearly said she does not want guests (you) to wear anything that can be construed as white. It's clear that the dress you intend to wear is not all white. But it is not clear how much of the dress is not white. You say it has a "floral pattern". Fine. But without a photo, we have no idea whether that "floral pattern" covers every inch of the dress or is reserved for less than 5-10% of it. And those variations make all the difference.

But most of this is moot because you seem to think that somehow because your mother "covered" for you and she's paying for some of the celebration and because your own wedding got cancelled and you don't much like your new SiL and you spent a lot of money on your special dress, that even if your dress is really 95% white, it's "floral". And you're so sure that you're in the right that you're willing to upset your brother and his wife over it.
Good luck. Enjoy the wedding 🙄