AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Thissssss! X10000000000

The dress is eminently suitable for a summer wedding OP and in your place I'd wear it without a qualm. Unless your brother and his girlfriend approach you directly and expressly voice their objections.to you, there's no reason for you not to. Frankly, I have no patience with the sort of bridezilla nonsens where brides feel entitled to control everyone's sartorial choices, especially when they are as as innocuous as this dress!

Here, we don't wear white to weddings. Period. That is a white dress with a print, so yes, it's white and you don't wear it. Print doesn't matter.

You sound more like a teenager than someone in their 40s.

Moving into a decaying mansion and haunting orphans for the next 60 years is for after the wedding.

I have already said in this instance I think she should suck up SIL's bridezillaness and just wear something else. It's ridiculous but one to do to keep the peace.

Still doesn’t make it an objectively unreasonable dress that if someone was wearing for any other wedding wouldn't need checking or to be objected to.

Don’t worry she is going to wear what she wants. She already said girlfriend not fiancée is nosey, her mother called her dramatic. Moreover, her mother paid towards wedding, so she feels she should be able to wear the dress as she wants for the prom, brother’s wedding.

Also, mother is wearing very similar dress with white base, so they are going to be twinning. This is not a day to celebrate brother and sister in law’s union. It’s OP’s special day and she should wear whatever she wants.

The pale pink version of that dress is stunning, so much nicer than the cream one.

We don’t know she is a bridezilla, op sounds like a sisterinlawzilla. She doesn’t even see this woman as her brother’s fiancée.

Making any comment at all that tells your guests what you think is acceptable for them to wear instantly makes you a bridezilla in my book.

No.

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house but it is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern and told my mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. We think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere. But anyway, all of this happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white. Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whateva.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing. Clearly she’s made him do that because she’s insecure or something.

So the dress you want to wear has MORE unpatterned cream (white) areas than your other dress that your SiL2B saw at your mum's house and said would be unsuitable?

So you DO know that she wouldn't want you to wear the dress you're arguing on here about wearing.

You really don't like her, do you.

It's not a wedding dress.... it's a summer CREAM coloured floral dress..... what is the problem with it ?? Is the bride vetting ALL the guest's outfits ?? It's a perfectly acceptable dress for a wedding.... I don't get the objection ....

Clearly she’s made him do that because she’s insecure or something.
Insecure and with too much time on her hands

As I keep saying, my mum has paid for a lot of things. So in some ways it is my mums wedding.

It’s not your mother’s wedding in any way. You and your mother sounds like characters from Cinderella book.

As she hasn’t even seen it, she won’t know if you just wear it . Honestly people trying to police guests wearing perfectly normal, obviously-not-the-bride summer dresses sound like total tyrants.
A friend wore a green Wedding dress, she didn’t ban anyone from wearing green, because that would have been unhinged.
Really bad manners to try and police your guests in this way.

How do you know it’s a cream colour dress? I have reached 10th post by op but have t seen the dress yet.
But have seen enough of her attitude.

princesspicker · Today 00:12
As I keep saying, my mum has paid for a lot of things. So in some ways it is my mums wedding

Actually I suspect he might be doing that because you & your Mum have both shown that you have no regard for the couple's boundaries (see your Mum trying to involve herself in the wedding because she somehow thinks giving money will give her a say in someone else's celebration) so I'm guessing the pair of you have a habit of doing things like this.

Just send your brother a picture of your dress and offer to change it if her and the bride aren't comfortable with you wearing it. If you keep this up you'll have no relationship with your brother ever again and it will NOT be his wife's fault it'll be down to you and your Mum.

These sorts of posts always remind that there are clearly two types of people in the world. And both are astounded by the other. Personally, I’m on the fence about the dress but op’s attitude stinks so that’s my synopsis 😂

Op should wear whatever she likes because she thinks it’s her mother’s wedding too as she paid for a lot of ‘nonsense’ her words.
Op also mentioned calling off her wedding last year, attacked character of her sister in law. I think Op is bitter about this wedding.

princesspicker · Today 00:12
As I keep saying, my mum has paid for a lot of things. So in some ways it is my mums wedding

It looks like a totally normal wedding guest dress. Cream with pink flowers, pink shoes. Absolutely fine. I am not young, I’ve been to a lot of very formal weddings, my own wedding was a formal church wedding. At literally every wedding I have been to, including the titled upper class ones, that dress would be fairly typical.

True especially when it’s OP’s mother’s wedding too.

princesspicker · Today 00:12
As I keep saying, my mum has paid for a lot of things. So in some ways it is my mums wedding

Quit reading at page 9. Wear the bloody dress.. .
It's lovely for a wedding GUEST. ffs nobody will think you have tried to upstage the bride.

Since when did the bride and groom get to dictate what people wear to their wedding? Obviously you can have a dress code such as ‘lounge suits’ but what people choose to wear within that code is up to them! I have worn cream to a wedding. I have also worn black. I looked clean and smart and as though I had made an effort which is the main thing.

Your dress isn’t white. It’s not a gown. It’s a typical wedding guest dress. As a previous poster said, if you wear a brightly coloured wrap it will break up the cream of the dress and look stunning.

It doesn't matter what you wore, it matters to this bride to not have guests wearing white or cream dresses.

Personally I wouldn't give a toss about that dress. But if I were sister to the groom and knew the bride felt strongly, I'd respect the wishes of my brother and soon to be SIL.

It's just a dress. Three weeks is plenty of time to get an alternative.

Then again, I actually love my brother and SIL. Clearly the OP doesn't.

I may be wrong but I think the dress the BROTHER saw at mums
was one of @princesspicker dresses and not the mums
dress but ISNT the one she’s planning to wear to the wedding.
i don’t think anyone else has seen it but because it has a similarly white/ cream background then op was wondering if it is unreasonable to wear it.
And I don’t think the bride has seen ops dress.
I could be wrong!