AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

It’s a gorgeous dress and you should wear it

Jeez can you read? The dress she saw, which is not the one I’ll be wearing, is mine.

I honestly don’t think the dress is inappropriate for a wedding - it is floral, and isn’t at all bridal - but it isn’t my opinion that matters. If the bride and groom are not happy with the dress, then @princesspicker should not wear it - as @GustavaKlimt said, “A dress is just a dress, but family harmony is priceless”.

Haven't rtft (shoot me) but just need to ask - do people really believe this?! It never, ever occurred to me to police or even think about what other people wore to our wedding!

OP I said earlier YANBU with your choice of dress.

However YABU to say it is your Mum''s wedding event to celebrate her son's marriage. It is their wedding. Who pays/contributes doesn't change that.

Is your Mum going to be at the door of the venue saying 'welcome to my wedding event'?!

It's not policing. It's well established etiquette that guest should not wear a white dress to a wedding.

A white dress with a small bit of floral pattern is still very much a white dress.

You must not have read where the OP and her mother have decided it isn't the Brides wedding.... it is OPs Mothers Wedding Event 😂😂😂

Then undoubtedly she would think your dress too white/cream/ivory.

Look you don't have to agree with us, or her, and you can think she's a total bridezilla. I'm also very sorry you're own wedding was cancelled, I can only imagine how devastating that would be.

I also think the dress you've chosen is fine for a wedding but - as you've seen - it's a touchy and personal subject.

However, your brothers fiance has heavily hinted that she would be upset & offended if you were to wear a dress like the one you've chosen, to the extent your brother keeps asking you to find something else.

The overriding opinion her is that you should be gracious and choose a different dress, whatever your personal feelings,because the wedding day is not about you, or your mum, it's about your brother and his wife, and it's the nice, kind thing to do.

I fully appreciate your time may be short but it's totally doable to find something else. In fact, in the time length of time this thread has been running you could have found and ordered an alternative dress.

I understand you're feeling attacked, that really isn't anyone's attention. You can avoid the whole drama, and a lot of hurt, if you just do the gracious thing and find a different dress.

I really don't understand why you wouldn't?

No because they won’t let her have a role in the wedding and are trying to keep things from her even though she’s enabling them to have a wedding event

I think its a lovely dress and perfect for a wedding, but I think your attitude to your brother's fiancee is awful.

This thread has got to be rage bait?

However upsetting that is, and I appreciate you'll be feeling defensive on her behalf, just it go. It's not worth it. It's their day and the days of the parents having a say in the wedding they're paying for are long over.

Just wear the dress you bought.

Why was your own wedding called off? I feel that's an underexamined element of this fascinating tale.

Your mum is the mother of the groom.

What other role should she have?

Why do you think paying gives her a say in anything?

It is marketed as a wedding guest dress. Hobbs said so. Hobbs have a whole range of accessories. It's one of the first ports of call for an occasion dress. They sell hundreds, probably thousands of wedding guest dresses every year. The carly dress has been a classic wedding guest dress for years.
I think Hobbs know their market. There, it is a wedding guest dress.

Then you missed out. According to OP you should have been the one cutting the cake and front and centre in every photo 😆

So it sounds like they think the dress that they saw was your mum’s. So they don’t actually know what your dress looks like. And that they didn’t ask your mum to tell you not to wear White.

Why don’t you send them the link and ask them what they think? Just tell them that you really like it, but you were worried that it might be too White. Would they be okay with you wearing it.

If they say no, then you have it from the horse’s mouth. Not via somebody else who may not have understood what they were saying.

And if they do think it’s too white you’ll need to get another dress.

The dress is lovely and perfect for a wedding. It bears no resemblance to a white bridal gown at all. I would wear it and if I were the bride I would be happy people had made an effort for my wedding (rather than wearing something you would wear to the supermarket).

I called it off shortly before the wedding. He was not a nice person, and constantly slagged off my family behind their backs.

Speaking to suppliers, helping decide on food options, welcoming and transporting guests, helping with planning. She’s expressed that she wants to do this but they’re digging their heels in

If you get your mentalness and sense of entitlement from her, no wonder they're trying to keep her the fuck away from THEIR special day. Absolutely bonkers, if at all true 😂

I think we can all guess...

They're not digging their heels in they just want to do it themselves!

Do you like either of them?

Why would a similar dress that is any other colour not being as special?