AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Oh come off if! Everything anybody reads on here is always “batshit” and “the craziest thing I’ve ever read”. You’re all so dramatic!

As a bride I wouldnt care. As a guest I might steer clear if very pale pink or yellow. Especially if long or floaty.

Absolutely NOT, @princesspicker. It is their wedding and she should not be expecting a say in it.

She didn't have to pay.
There still would have been a wedding.

She absolutely does not get a say in.any shape or form.

Also i wouldn't tell her anything either because she's clearly not trustworthy having told you... the SIL OF NIGHTMARES... what the brides dress was like

Yeah that's fair. I think it was just your wording of it being her wedding. Hope it ends up being a lovely day, but I would just wear another dress as everyone seems to be worried about it, including you x

Have you any self awareness at all? Calling others dramatic after what you've been posting here 😂

That dress is fine, and I would happily wear that to a wedding. Pink accessories maybe - lovely.
However.. in this instance only, given the ridiculous stooshie this dress seems to be causing, I probably would share a pic with my bro/mum if only to keep the peace.

I hope none of the male guests are wearing white shirts.

I am confused. So they/she saw a dress (yours?) at your mum's house which is similar to the one in the link (possibly more white?) and said it wasn't suitable to wear to their wedding. Your mum said she wouldn't be wearing it - and that's it?

So they aren't worried about what people will think of your actual dress and nor are they trying to police what you wear. They/she had a conversation with your mum in which you were not mentioned.

You and your mum don't sound very nice. You both seem to think that the bride and groom should let your mum organise stuff as she is contributing but usually the contribution is just a gift and you would only help if you were asked to. Further, you are saying her dress is 'OTT traditional' which isn't very nice. Did your mum say that or did she describe it and that is the conclusion you drew.

If you think there will be an issue, I would ask. If your dress is cream, not white and more floral than the one they/she saw, then I wouldn't worry. I think the dress is borderline tbh and some brides are funny about guests wearing white/cream/mostly white/cream dresses - perhaps her bridesmaids are in cream or floral? Others won't care (I would have been fine with it) but then my dress was purple :)

It is mums wedding event to celebrate her son’s marriage. If they had paid for everything it would have been their own wedding event to celebrate their marriage. Mum agrees so it doesn’t really matter what you think about this as it is all kind of besides the point (the dress) anyway!!

This thread is batshit, you know full well not to wear it but as you clearly hate your SIL you don’t care. If you need to ask others if a dress is too cream/white, it is. Be a better person - your poor brother dealing with a sister like you

Personally I like it and think it’s fine for a wedding. If you want to keep the peace, you could return it and take the same dress in the other pattern, which is pink and more floral!

She told my mum it would be inappropriate to wear white at the wedding. My mum told her not to worry and that she won’t wear white. Then my mum told me about this because my mum and I picked out my dress together.

OK, maybe didn't actively advise you but she did pass this on, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.

I'm not making things up, but perhaps not as literal as you.

This thread has got bizarre as clearly you don't want to be told YAU. If you want a good relationship with your brother and his wife go round one evening with the dress and ask them if it's ok. If they say no be gracious and get another dress. It may not be fair or correct but it just depends if you want to be cut off from them after the wedding or not, if you upset them over a dress.

You are hard work, period.

"She made mum promise not to tell anyone"
"mum told me what it looks like"

Your poor SILTB (if she exists irl). I almost hope she does come across this thread - before the wedding, so she has time to consider her options.

From what was initially a passing comment about guests not wearing white, she has been called nosy, controlling and you've had a dig at her size (her dress is bigger than yours!). I've probably missed loads, but cba to read it all again.
Your mum lied by ommission about your off-white dress (with a few flowers) that she helped you choose, broke her promise to not tell anyone about the bridal dress, and believes paying for a load of random stuff entitles her to being involved in the wedding plans.

7.5/10 for imagination, 1/10 for consistency.

Hobbs has a good return policy so why even create this drama? If your ask people's opinions and ignore them what's the point?

You do seem to like the drama.

The dress she saw is mine, yes.

It probably has the same amount of pattern but the difference is that the pattern is evenly spread out over the whole dress. Has sleeves and some ruffles.

When my son got married a few years ago,we paid half and brides family paid the rest. That was our contribution to THEIR wedding. We gave our opinion if asked, and that was it.
If I had been asked not to wear a particular dress,or even if I'd had a whiff of a disagreement about the dress, I would have bought something else.
A dress is just a dress, but family harmony is priceless.

Would it even be heatwave without someone asking if they were being unreasonable and then completely disagreeing with the consensus?

Wedding event???? It’s a wedding, a marriage ceremony. It’s about the bride and groom.

All this ‘mum agrees’, ‘mum said not to tell’ is giving me hillbilly vibes.

Some people will think it's fine but many won't, so why take the chance unless you're deliberately trying to piss off the bride (which seems to be OP's intention)?

If the dominant colour of a dress is either white or cream, it's a no go IMO, and I really don't understand why people die on this hill when they can literally choose any other colour.

OP's dress is 80% white (or cream as she insists) which is inappropriate in the eyes of a lot of people.

So if she has seen your dress and doesn't want you to wear it, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WEAR IT

It’s her wedding. With luck you should be in each other’s lives for a long time, assuming you love your brother and he you. Don’t wear the dress.

clearly not for this OP!