AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

My mum had not advised me to not wear it! Where did I say that because you’re just making things up now!! Mum told me about the conversation she had with my brother’s gf. Mum and I picked this dress out together, she doesn’t have a problem with it at all.

What are you on about?

But the bride and groom in this wedding care. OP already knows this.

Ok fair enough lol

If I saw a SIL wearing that at a wedding, I'd be thinking it's a huge red flag and it would reflect very badly on them. Why would you want to create any kind of stress or unhappiness for a bride and groom? Just be nice and wear something else, it's so easy!

I'm also intrigued as to what the bride's dress looks like given the only difference OP has mentioned is that the bride's is bigger

Doesnt matter if the dress is too white or not at this stage, if you wear it, it screams looking for attention, wanting drama....possibly even being a bit of a main character style knob.

From all of your comments you seem to be a difficult, stubborn, narcissistic person who needs to be right. That dress is inappropriate for a wedding guest, you've been advised time and time again. The only logical reasons you could be possibly be going on and on is you're enjoying the drama and attention you're causing, both for your soon to be sister-in-law and indeed in this thread (narcissism), or you cannot admit you are in the wrong and so digging a bigger and bigger hole for yourself (stubborn). Either way, you seem incredibly difficult. Grow up

@princesspicker show is the dress or shut-up about it! We honestly do not really care either way.

If they thought the dress they saw was your mum's, the why in your OP do you think they're worried about what you're wearing? Surely they don't have any idea what you're wearing as they thought it was your mum's dress?

Op I’ve read all your posts and voted after seeing the picture of your dress.
I’m sorry your wedding was cancelled, this is their wedding though. The bride has told your mum it’s not appropriate, your brother is checking in to find out. They want to make sure you’re not wearing anything that other guests will sit and chat about.
Your dress isn’t floral enough to wear to the wedding, it may say cream on the website but from the image it looks very white.

You still have time to exchange the dress or look online. It may look to others that you’re trying to cause an upset at the wedding if you wear that dress or may in fact be bitter about the past.

Nah. People can change their vote if they change their mind.

The bride is the one who comes off as narcissistic and creating drama by commenting on guest dresses in the first place. It's so petty and unnecessary to try and police your guests rather than just chilling out and enjoying the day.

The dress was posted ages ago.

I don't particularly think the dress is inappropriate to wear to a wedding. It is clearly floral.

However:

• it is predominantly white (you can say it's cream, realistically, it's a white dress for the purposes of whether it's ok for a wedding or not)
• the bride doesn't want people wearing white to her wedding and has made it clear with reference to another, similar dress
• you know this, so the obvious, polite thing to do is wear something else that doesn't cause an issue and
• don't go talking about it or making it a big drama

It's very simple.

(also, it's not a great dress, it's kind of frumpy and not likely to do anyone any favours. You'll find a nicer dress)

We've been told they care about people wearing white but not whether wearing a patterned dress that includes white is a problem.

If the bride and groom are so bothered then their wedding invite should have specified the dress code without any scopes for confusion.

If they haven't specified on the invite then there is scope for other female guests to wear dresses that include some white or cream. Especially middle aged guests going by the responses here from me or others on here!

What hasn't changed since I started going to weddings is that the bride is the absolute focus of attention always. It is a bit sad that OP's SIL doesn't seem to remember this.

Just wear the dress , it’s cream!! I would put pink or green shoes, bag and hat with it . These days people should be grateful guest are not arriving in pj’s or sports wear because let’s face it standards have somewhat slipped in the last few years. 😊

You sound like you'll be the sister-in-law from hell. Once the wedding is done and dusted you'll then become embittered about something else.

I think this dress is fine to a wedding 🤷‍♀️ looks nothing like a wedding dress

oh okay. Not that long white flowing gown with flowers I skimmed past? That could be a wedding dress!

I’m not allowed to describe it to people since she only let mum join her for the alterations after making her promise to keep it a secret

The dress lovely and it’s fine for a wedding.

She hasn’t seen it so next time you are asked just say you’ve got a new dress which is cream, red and green.

Op, I think your dress isn't white and isn't remotely inappropriate for your brother's wedding. They have no right to veto this dress.

This is appropriate for a wedding. It’s nothing like a brides gown.

This is OP’s aim, she wants to be the centre of attention and the main character.

I dont know why your brother/SIL didnt come straight to you, you seem so approachable 🤣