AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

For the most amount of posts you indicated they thought it was white but it was floral. You said nothing about cream for absolutely ages. That told us you had a white floral dress. So weird the way you are going about this OP.

I’m not convinced I’m the one who needs help in this situation.

Sorry but you're actually hilarious 😂 This has got to be a wind-up

It's absolutely not your mums wedding... thats a ridiculous comment to make.

Also its not your special day so no you aren't entitled to wear something special.

Calling off your wedding is irrelevant 😂 Why even mention that?

Honestly you're better off staying at home in your white floral dress than going to the wedding of people you clearly don't like.

Because the question I had was about floral patterns not about the exact things that happened like who saw what and who told who. It doesn’t even matter the point is it’s cream floral and anyway you have seen the dress now!

The way you describe your soon to be sister-in-law and your relationship with your mum is absolutely revolting. Hopefully she will be reading this thread and disinvite you from the wedding. It’s just not worth having that nasty vibe.

Because it looks too bridal, and is more cream than it is coloured; many brides like guests – particularly those who will be in family photos – not to wear white/cream/ivory so that the bride stands out. I didn't ask anyone to not wear white at my wedding, but they didn't, and I would avoid white altogether at others' weddings – it's really not difficult to do.

There's every other colour on the spectrum to wear, so it's very strange to me that wedding guests would ever wear majority white/cream.

I didn’t say cream because I would not have described it as cream it is floral. When I went to share it I saw the link said cream. So I mentioned cream. Gosh, how hard is this to understand?

Maybe you could offer some better alternatives as you are such an arbiter of taste.

You comment sounds like something from a gang of teenagers in the school toilets

Just looked at the dress, haven't RTFT. It's a bit staid/boring, but a very traditional, 'classic' wedding guest dress, especially with that Hobbs get up (the little jacket, etc).

From their reaction I thought you were planning showing up in some princessy, floor length number with a train or something.

I'm not a fan of the dress, but that's irrelevant. What's relevant here, that it's in no way inappropriate, and they're being bonkers.

Just wear the dress OP. The more you post, the more apparant it is that you have a contrary streak about you, so no doubt it isn't going to bother you to ruffle feathers. In fact I'm guessing from your responses that you actually enjoy a bit of fuss and altercation and being seen as controversial.

I think the thing that's hard to understand is you know the dress will cause a problem but you're not willing to swap the dress!

They haven't reacted though tbf. The OP is making a big deal about nothing.

The bride said no white. The bride and groom don't even know the OP has bought a dress yet nevermind even having seen it.

So the OP is just creating a whole load of drama and being utterly rude and horrible online about her future SIL for absolutely no reason.

I don’t get the fuss about particular colour dresses at a wedding but if it’s going to cause stress and drama, why don’t you wear something else? (Not particularly keen on the dress you chose if I’m honest, it’s very staid)

Currently 83% say you are being unreasonable.
Does that tell you anything?

Most of these votes happened before I had shared the dress and after sharing it probably half said it’s fine

@princesspicker stop getting distracted by arguing with people on this thread and take on the advice being given to you

@Justwonderingifthisisnormal is giving you good advice here too

What impossible situation? She’s the complainer and he knows that why not focus on the wedding instead of what other people wear?

You've got to be taking the piss now? 😂

Before sharing the dress, 81% said YABU. After sharing, YABU rose to 83%.

OP, can’t you recognise how ridiculous this dress saga has become?

bride hasn’t seen it.
DB hasn’t seen it.
mum told you bride doesn’t want you to wear it. Bride never said that.
you’re slaying bride for her opinion which she’s never made or given.
MN is split about whether it’s sufficiently ‘not white’
you dislike your future SIL

you're giving it far too much headspace.

in fact, either this is a big ol’ wind up or it’s not actually about the dress.

The impossible situation = him having to choose between his new wife and his sister

He will choose his wife.

Making allowances for the heat because its easy to get irritable and weird during it, but I warn you if you go ahead with this dress on principle or because you think she's unreasonable, you and your family will pay the price for years to come.

Sometimes the sensible thing to do is to let things go and keep the peace. Keep the peace.

I'm so confused about why the OP is getting such a hard time.

@princesspicker I think it is a lovely dress. Also, that it is lovely for a wedding guest.

Having said that, I think in your position, I personally might change it so as not to cause a family rift, because it's not worth causing that over.

But I also think your DB and his GF are being controlling and a bit diva-ish. I can never understand why people want to police other people's clothes so much.

Hope the wedding goes well!

The world has gone MAD! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this dress as a wedding guest dress, it does not look in the least bit bridal.

The whole “no white” rule has never literally meant any garment that contains white. It’s about avoiding anything that could be mistaken for a bridal dress in photos or at a glance.

A dress only becomes a problem if it looks bridal in effect, not because it happens to have a white background. Most people, including most brides, are absolutely fine with:

• white‑based floral dresses (like yours)
• white with bold patterns
• short, casual summer dresses
• anything clearly not bridal in cut or fabric

What’s usually frowned upon is:

• long, floaty, lace/embroidered ivory
• cream satin
• anything floor‑length and pale
• anything that could pass as a wedding dress if you squinted

Your problem is that the bride seems to have a bee in her bonnet about any white/cream dress and that is a bit unfair.

It really depends if this is a hill you want to die on, personally I think its a beautiful NON BRIDAL dress that is wholly appropriate and is marketed as such from the description and reviews.

Personally (but I am stubborn) I think I would add a coordinated pastel jacket or cropped cardigan to pick up and emphasize the floral element and make sure you wear it until at least mid reception before striping off. Not because you should have to, but because you are respecting the brides uniformed discomfort.

I'm not sure how they can possibly be passing a message to you through your mum if they have no idea what you are going to be wearing.

It is very common not wear a mostly white/cream dress to a wedding out of respect for the bride, so not sure why you are insisting on this dress anyway, and even more so now they have specified they don't want anyone to wear white/cream. It's a dick move.

She hasn't complained though... you've made a whole angry thread up for nothing 😂