AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Why the support for the sil. I personally don't like the dress but it is perfectly alight for a wedding.

The sil is being stupid. She has no right to dictate to people what they wear. She is rude and attention seeking. To be honest I find the whole thing pathetic.

Listen some people would think no to that dress for a wedding, others would think it's fine. Your future sil belongs in the former group so you can't wear it. Just go along with her wishes.

I think it's way too white. I would not wear it.

Ooh, I love the pink one. Shame I’ve got nowhere to wear it.

I agree with pp that the pale pink version is much nicer and more wedding appropriate. OP it does sound like you’re in the mindset of “well I never got to have my wedding so I’m jolly well going to wear what I want for this and fuck what the bride thinks or wants”. As a PP said you are being bloody minded.

Hi OP

The dress you’ve chosen looks fine for a wedding to me. Plus, your brother and STBSiL haven’t seen it, so they may think it’s fine. And if their main objection is people might criticise you for wearing it, who cares! Why would anyone give two hoots if other people talk behind their back. It’s their problem if they go round critiquing people’s outfits. So shallow.

However, if it was me, I’d choose a different outfit, just to not make a big deal. If the wedding’s in three weeks, you have plenty of time. TK Maxx have some lovely dresses and delivery is usually quick online if you’re not near a store. What colour’s your mum wearing? Could you coordinate with her for family pics?

If you were being reasonable about this you'd send a pic of the dress to your brothers fiancé and check if it's ok, if it's not then wear something else - why bother making a problem out of this. Their wedding isn't about you and I think it's ok they don't want you to wear white (or mostly white) as you'll be in a lot of the photos very close to the bride who is wearing white 😂

Dress is fine- wear pink shoes/ accessories and avoid veils and tiaras.

You all sound like hard work.

It really isn’t your mums wedding. What a weird thing to say.

It isn’t your wedding either.

Just wear a different dress.

So actually, the bride hasn’t actually said ANYTHING about your bloody dress?

God, you sound like much harder work than the bride.

Why can't you simply adhere to the bride's wishes - it's her and your brother's day - not yours.

You can wear that dress any other time.

Your mum is in for a world of trouble if she actually believes this.

Hi OP as the mother of a recently married Son I would urge your mother to keep her nose out of the arrangements if she wants a good relationship with the couple going forward.
I contributed a lot of money to my Son and DIL’s wedding but did not think that gave me any control over how it was spent. I also made sure my outfit was approved by my lovely now DIL well before, I have seen fallouts over weddings cause huge rifts in my in-laws family and am determined not to let that happen in my family

Surely that depends on what the bride is wearing. The couple getting married think this dress (or one very similar to it) isn't appropriate.

Can you send a pic of your dress to the bride or even your brother to see if the bride thinks it's fine to wear.

If the bride says no then you will have to find something else to wear.

So how long have you hated your brother's fiancée? Because you very clearly hate her – at the least you seem territorial about another woman marrying into the family, with the way you're subtly acting as though everything should centre you instead of her.

Cream, white, or ivory are all bridal colours, and all very similar – to say that dress is fine because it's cream, is patently ridiculous. The dress is not alright – in fact, it's so not alright that I have to suspect this post is a reverse, or ragebait.

Usually, I'd wear that to a wedding without a second thought. If in doubt just don't make a fuss, buy another one. What a shame your mum even said anything!

I’d probably wear a different dress to keep the peace but I’d wear something I already owned instead of spending more money.
I do think it’s mental that people are so bothered by not wearing white, nobody’s going to mix you up, there’s a big difference between a white dress and a white wedding dress.

Nobody is going to mistake you for the bride in that OP (which is where the 'no white' rule came from), you're fine.

However you won't get replies like that because of the very strange way you've conducted this thread. If you'd just posted the dress in the first place and asked is this too white you'd have got very different answers.

I think the dress is absolutely fine. Plainly not a wedding dress or at risk of confusing anyone for the bride. Just wear it OP. What’s Bridezilla going to do, send you home? No way would I be splurging on another dress to appease her. I’m quite surprised at this thread it seems out of kilter with previous I’ve seen on similar topics. Maybe the heat brought out the Bridezillas

OP you are posting in the wrong place. See if you can move this thread to style and beauty or shopping.

For the record, I have worn a hobbs carly dress to a wedding. It was white. Horrors!! It had a floral pattern. The bride approved.

For those who think brides are mad, this particular bride was having a summer wedding and requested that guests wore floral dresses. Most did, it was a beautiful day.

Now for some further advice. I actually wore a white jacket with my dress. Horrors! I changed that for a coloured shawl in the evening. I also wore a coloured fascinator and a bag which picked up the colours in the dress.
Have you got a jacket or shawl to go with the dress? Hobbs will have something which will co-ordinate. It's quite easy to buy something. Not cream. Pink? I have used my shawl several times since the wedding. Hobbs have lovely shawls.

If you post on style and beauty you will get plenty of advice on how to make the dress less bride like.

Depending when you bought the dress, and how long you've owned it, Hobbs will do an exchange or refund/credit note. The carly dress is a lovely style, i think they have a pink one at the moment. I am lucky enough to have a local Hobbs store, the assistants are lovely and helpful. Bit more difficult if you're shopping online.

Why is it not alright? I genuinely don’t understand. If I was going to a wedding and liked that and bought it, it wouldn’t cross my mind that it wouldn’t be suitable. And I’m 53 years old so been dressing myself a long time! Of course, I wouldn’t seek or listen to other people’s opinions on my clothing choices anyway.

I'm a bit on the fence about whether the cream dress is appropriate for a wedding or not - but as the bride is unhappy about it, then please wear something else.

I think this is far more about you being (understandably) upset about your cancelled wedding and perhaps you don't get on brilliantly with the bride?

Why?

OP is an adult and capable of choosing her own clothes.

Would anyone actually do this?

My days 😂

My mother used to think and say only virgins should wear white wedding dresses. She wasn't keen on me wearing one at my own wedding. We'd never lived together but she found the pill in my bedroom.

It is a lovely dress. I'd wear a jacket over it to break it up perhaps.

They haven’t asked ME not to wear the similar dress. They told mum it would be inappropriate to wear white when they saw it at my parents house.

Mum said SHE won’t wear white. Problem solved.

Ridiculous to think my mum would’ve worn the other dress anyway since it’s clearly not for a 70 year old lady. It’s like they were cowardly trying to pass the message to me through my mum.