AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Agree ! 20 years ago I wore a white dress with a black floral pattern to a wedding. The only ‘issue’ was another guest was wearing the same dress! We didn’t know each other so weren’t in same photos or anything & I wasn’t bothered!
My mum wore a cream suit to my brother’s wedding in the 90s. Not unusual then at all.

Get a new dress, otherwise they will hold this mistake against you for the rest of your life. It’s not worth it.

Lacked class, or lower class, or are you using the terms synonymously?

If there's really a class of people amongst whom this convention is strong, as you suggest, the classy thing to do is of course to respect their conventions when invited to their weddings.

You sound so bitter. Like how bad can your life be to be this bitter.

I am always confused by these commands by brides. It's not up to anyone but the person wearing the garment what they wear to a wedding. It is convention, however, not to wear a dress that is base colour white, ivory or cream since these are all bridal colours.
OP should buy another dress.

Cream is a specific type of off-white just like ivory, champagne, natural white, etc so it is considered a white colour -it's just not a stark white colour. Traditional white wedding dresses can be pure white or off-white in colour.

It’s predominantly cream, it’s the major colour and actually it’s the opposite, ignoring a brides wishes and a common etiquette is what lacks class, and grace.

The dress posted is fine.

This thread is batshit.

If the bride thinks it’s too bridal (she’s an idiot), I’d choose something else to keep the peace.

That Polyester dress is so dated I wouldn’t wear it, but if I saw a wedding guest wearing it I’d think it was borderline inappropriate.

I do think it’s too white. Sure, the patterns differentiate from the bride but some brides wear patterns on a white dress. I wouldn’t wear anything remotely white.

Since it's 100% polyester, it won't breathe so you might feel too hot wearing it.

Do you know what the brides dress is like? It could be like one of the floral ones posted earlier.

Arguing over cream vs. white is splitting hairs. My wedding dress was ivory, which is a fancy word for pale cream. It was a full-on wedding dress, and the ivory suited me better than white.

Your dress is in the middle - it doesn't look like what the bride would wear, but it has a lot of pale background. I get it's frustrating, but do you really want to wear something that pisses off the bride and groom and creates an atmosphere? Personally I would put it on, plus coloured shoes, bag, jacket etc and send a photo to my brother saying 'would this work?', prepared to change the dress if he says no.

I can well believe it - you're behaving more like a 4 year old.

Grow up.

Personally I wouldnt wear this to a wedding.

The traditional rule of not wearing "white" as a guest also stretches to cream, ivory, off white, pure white, pale champagne etc. Basically any colour that could be perseved as white in photos.

The majority of your dress is cream with a bit of floral detail. If it was entirely floral with a splash of cream then it would be a different matter.

Things must have changed since I last went to a wedding, as that's a perfectly normal wedding guest dress. Apart from on here, I've never heard of a bride dictating what the guests can wear either.

Yes it's not suitable.

Doesn't matter what we all vote. You don't care anyway. Why don't you like your about to be sil?

Anyone else think that @princesspicker db and soon to be sil will be going NC with her after tge wedding?
@princesspicker you are coming across as a bitter jealous nightmare, its not your wedding or your mother's wedding even if she contributed to it. Wind your neck in and get a different dress or expect to have no relationship with your brother and his wife and to have damaged your mums relationship with your brother, his wife and any future grandchildren, all because you want to make a point

This, sadly. It clearly is an absolutely classic and normal wedding guest dress that isn't "too white" to anyone other than the terminally insecure and petty.

However as bride seems to be one of these you may as well roll your eyes, get another dress and move on.

It’s a beautiful dress, it’s even nicer in pink/lilac. Wear that one!

Why are you so fixated on wearing the original dress? Why post on here if you’re going to reject all the YABU replies? Why don’t you want to wear the pink version?

I think the dress is fine - but if the Bride has got an issue then I’d wear something else. No point causing drama with your brother and his wife.

Everything you say about your future SIL says you don’t like her and are positioning her as an interloper into your family. She’s nosey, she’s dramatic, you should be able to wear ‘something special’ because ‘he’s my brother’ and it’s practically your mums wedding because she’s paying for it. With the context that your own wedding got called off it all comes across in a certain way - she’s getting to be the bride and have the wedding and you’re not. That must be really hard for you, but if you make a big deal out of wearing this dress and causing an upset, that is exactly what the people at the wedding will be thinking. You’re at risk of coming across as jealous and bitter.

They even sell that exact same dress in a different colour and have next day delivery so this is clearly about you wanting to upset her on her wedding day 🙄

That's a beautiful dress, I have the same one from Hobbs, in pink. So I know they do them in a range of colours. I think you should return it and get a different colour.
Its for a family wedding, hopefully you like your family and you want the wedding to be drama free. So just change the dress.

That dress is fine on my opinion, OP, in fact, it's gorgeous.
BUT if it is going to cause a huge fuss at the wedding, is it worth it to wear it?

Personally I think the bride is a bit OTT and rude to see a dress at your mum's and tell her it's not appropriate to wear to the wedding but it seems from other replies being controlling over what other people wear to weddings is the done thing now.

So, no, I don't think you are being unreasonable to wear that but if your brother and sil are going to kick off over it then wear something else.

Honestly, there are so many problems to worry about, why are brides getting upright about what their wedding guests wear? It's mind-blowing!

And I bet on the actual day these fussy, controlling brides are so caught up in the moment they end up not giving a sh*t whether guests turned up in bin bags!