AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

And yes, that is way too white.

OP, your 44, not 64. The dress is given up Middle Aged woman vibes. Secondly, sort your shit out. You’ve been asked not to wear it. Don’t wear it. Why are you purposefully sabotaging your relationship with the person you will probably know longer than anyone else in your life.
especially if you’re willing to wear that dress. Surely it doesn’t matter what you wear

What? I’ve said the whole time it’s not white and that it’s a floral dress. What are you talking about?

Everyone slags them off too. They’ll all be saying ‘ooh look at her wearing white, she wishes it was her wedding.’

Well I wouldn’t wear it because it’ll look crap for a wedding, white or not.

I also find your whole thread crap as it is fake.

Is wearing a cream-coloured dress common for the mother of the bride? I ask because a couple of reviewers said they wore the dress at their daughter's wedding.

So. The dress is lovely. No doubt about that. IMO, it is too pale to wear to a wedding (I'm not getting into white v cream wars). It's fairly common knowledge not to wear a white OR cream dress to a wedding.

OP I'm sorry that your own wedding fell through, but THIS wedding is about your SIL. It's her day. Not yours. It is not going to hurt you to wear a different coloured dress. I don't think this is the hill to die on, I really don't. Unless it's out of sheer spite.

Reading between the lines, I'm not sure you like her very much but please, do the decent thing here.

At the very least, show her the dress (or a photo of it) and ask her if she would be ok with you wearing it to the wedding. I have a feeling we all know the answer here, given she saw a pale dress and said to your mam she wouldn't be happy with that.

But ask her. And if she says no, PLEASE listen to her.

Let her have her day, the way she wants it to be, and just wear a different dress. It will not affect you one iota.

I have other siblings that I’ve known for longer, i’m also not 44.

Happy to send you photos in a couple of weeks from the wedding if that’s what you’re after? x

Ok, i must have misread somewhere.

I still can’t fathom why you believe this is a hill to die on.

She said "early 40s" - so you cannot be off by more than two years.

Sounds like the bride doesn’t want you wearing it. So don’t wear it. It’s her day. Don’t cause a rift just for the sake of an item of clothing and a differing opinion

I think fixating on the Hobbs dress being too white or not isn’t helpful. Wedding dresses can be all shades of cream too. It’s bridal. This is what the bride is getting at. For that reason I wouldn’t wear the Hobbs dress if there’s a chance it might upset her - it’s supposed to be her special day and it would be good of you to find something else.

Have you seen dresses by Claire Pettibone - I was very tempted by a CP dress that has the flavour of the Hobbs dress you posted.

clairepettibone.com/blogs/bridal-inspiration/color-or-classic?srsltid=AfmBOoojxJ9G3hyTzngB5QsdvJgVQrl8qsBs5Y3W6__Wk6tE87_XCGRX

OK, after scrolling through and almost losing the will to live, I finally saw the dress. IMO it's very pretty and not too white at all. No one would ever mistake that for a wedding dress. In my time, day-length dresses that were florals on a white/cream background would have been absolutely fine as they look nothing like traditional wedding dresses.

However, these days there seems to be a big hoo-hah against florals on a light background for a wedding. Stupid Opinion No.3,985,968,059 that's been whipped up by social media. What I said before still stands: just do what the bride wants.

About the dress itself, the pink version is absolutely gorgeous and far, far nicer, imo. Online it says that only the two smallest sizes are available. If neither of those are your size, and you want the pink, you can always ring round the different stores. It's such a beautiful dress that I would.

The pink one is much nicer.

But not stylish dresses at all.

I wouldn’t bother fighting this one. You should respect the bride’s preference.

If you wear the cream one (which is ugly anyway), you will look like you’re trying to steal the bride’s thunder and you will look foolish.

I don't think it's bridal in the slightest! It's sleeveless, day-length, and looks nothing like a traditional wedding dress. At a push, it might be something someone might wear as a second bride, but it's a day dress, and a fairly casual one at that. The sort of thing you might wear out to lunch.

And the link you posted is wedding dresses! Has the heat got to you??

You are in your 40’s and giving off mean girl vibes. Grow up.

I mean OP can’t you put yourself in her shoes - if you were having your wedding and a family member wore a dress that was too white / bridal / similar to your dress, does it matter if objectively you were wrong? The only thing that would matter is your feelings on a day when you want to feel really special.

So it doesn’t matter if her feelings are unreasonable - if it’s an easy fix like a different dress then just change it.

Well obv it’s important so we can give opinions based on fact

you’ve posted it now

If mainly cream or white then it’s a no for a wedding

which yours is so yes don’t wear it

it’s an ok dress. Not that special imo but it’s too much cream

And many replies here also think the dress is too bridal, so some guests will be thinking the same about yours, and that you’re making the wedding about you. Some of them may well be on this thread. Do you really want that on your mind at the wedding.

Yes I meant to post that link. I’m saying that the Hobbs dress has the flavour of Claire Pettibone wedding dresses - some shade of white/cream/pal colour with dramatic flowers. The bride may well be wearing something similar. I didn’t mean to tell the OP to buy a CP wedding dress, I was trying to say look at this wedding dress that is similar! Wedding dresses do look like the Hobbs dress!

I think it's a lovely dress and the hype over not wearing white to a wedding is really overdone nowadays. But I can also see how that could be a bit close to the bone for some weddings and some brides.

She's your brother's fiancée and about to become your sister in law. It's her wedding and you're pretty sure it's going to upset her. So I would find another dress.

All the more so if theirs was called off recently, I’d imagine…

This!!! Come on OP this day isn’t about you. Just get another dress.

OP took forever to post a picture of the dress, even though many posters asked to see one. Would anyone agree that she comes across as being very ornery—a person who is difficult to get along with? I think this comment did me in: "I really don’t mind posting the dress, just don’t get why it’s so important.'"