AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

It says cream. The website doesn’t even describe it as white in the description section

When people say don’t wear white, they also mean cream. As I’m sure you know.

It may say it's cream but it is still too white to wear to a wedding... Honestly it's not worth it, wear something else - it's not your day

Oh please. As far as wide eyed attempts at plausibly deniability go - 0.5/10.

If that dress is not appropriate for a wedding dress then the world has gone mad.

Nothing wrong with it. It's lovely.

Read the reviews on the dress. A couple of reviewers said "perfect dress for my wedding". A few others mentioned "will wear to my daughter's wedding" or "will wear to my son's wedding". Two reviewers bought it for an upcoming family wedding and commented on how well it goes with a pink jacket. Love the dress. Can you wear it with a light jacket?

Aha- now I see why you were reluctant to post a picture!
If you wear that to someone else's wedding everyone will assume (maybe correctly) that you're wanting to be the centre of attention.

Thank you!!

Same dress comes in pink. Wear that one.

Thank you for posting the pic at long last

Actually I don’t think the dress is too white , or cream if you prefer .
It’s very pretty and provided your accessories are pink or green I’m sure it would be lovely on you.
BUT given that your future sister in law has made her wishes known, isn’t it a bit spiteful to wear it for the wedding ?
Be the bigger person here.

Haha. Nice try, you said your dress was special, this is a casual summer dress 🫣 and cream not white.

Is the heat really getting to you that much 😂

You don't care about the brides opinion, and I guess your brother. I love my brother and would want to make him happy. Maybe consider not going to the wedding if you just want to wear that dress regardless of being asked not to.

Do you really want to die on the hill of a fairly mediocre and frumpy dress? Just wear something else, what is wrong with you.

I mean the easy answer is to send a photo of your dress to your SIL and ask her feeling on it. And then if she says no, you don’t wear it.
I say this as a person who doesn’t on any level understand why people care what other people wear to events and I would secretly roll my eyes if she said no to that dress, but it’s their day and the easiest way forward for everyone is just to wear a different dress.

Also it is not on any level your mothers wedding too because she helped pay for it. That’s not how weddings work.

OP clearly thinks its her day and alllll about her. Thank God she's not my
sister.

The dress is gorgeous. I would be happy for you to wear it to my wedding and non-white accessories will de-white it even more. SIL sounds like a bridezilla but I don't understand why, for the sake of family harmony, you can't just cooperate. After all it's her wedding.

As she hasn't actually seen YOUR dress, I would send her a picture/show her, ask her what she thinks as you're worried she'll think it's too white given her comments about the other dress, and if she (as seems inevitable) says you can't wear it, then suck it up. I think a reasonable person would not pick a fight over this particular issue.

Oh well that makes it ok then, I mean bridal dresses all have the word white on the label?

I personally think the dress is fine. Wouldn't bother me. But I'm not the bride 🤷🏼‍♀️

If it's similar to one the bride felt uncomfortable having a guest in, I guess I would be questioning what was more important...sticking to your guns or the potential long term effects on the relationship with someone about to join your family. People hold grudges about wedding shiz that last a frickin lifetime!

Omg, if the bride doesn't want you to wear it, then don't. Listen, you two are going to be family, possibly forever, and she will be the gatekeeper of any future nieces and nephews. Fgs, just do what she wants and wear something different. You'll get off to a terrible start with her as a SIL if you don't.

Whether it's too white or not is entirely beside the point. You may well be completely reasonable. The dress might have hardly any white showing. But you can be happy or you can be right, not both. If you want your SIL and future mother of your potential niblings to always remember how you refused to accommodate her one request on the biggest day of her life, go ahead and wear it. 🙈 Is it fair? No. Are people perfect? Also no. And when I say she'll always remember, it's because you'll forever be in all the photos wearing the dress that she asked you not to wear.

The dominant color is white (‘cream’). Ime guests normally err on the side of caution and choosing something in a different color entirely, or at least check with the bride if they’re that set on a white dress.

Get the pink/lilac one instead - it’s nicer! ☺️

This is true.

Calling off your wedding does not entitle you to wear something both your brother and his fiancée find inappropriate to their wedding.

They don't owe you anything. Your called-off wedding has no relevance to this.

Go ahead and piss them off if you feel it's that important to you. But ask yourself why you're behaving so badly so close to their wedding.

In my experience anyone wearing a vaguely white dress at a wedding comes off looking spiteful and attention seeking. You are stressing her out. Buy a new dress.

Yeah, having seen the photo of the dress - you need to send it back. It's basically a cream dress with some floral embellishments.

Don't be a dick. Stop splitting hairs about cream versus white.