AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

OP said the girlfriend, the Bride, didn't have the balls to tell OP herself. ...
Oh, dear. That tells me everything I need to know.

@princesspicker YOU ARE DEFINITELY BEING UNREASONABLE and likely a bitch as well. Sorry, but I had to be blunt. Please, for the love of God, stop being so difficult. There is a very good reason your brother's fiancée didn't speak to you, isn't there?

BUY A NEW DRESS.

I agree. She sounds like a Bridezilla

She is! She refused to let mum help with the wedding even though she paid for all kinds of nonsense

Why would she want your mum to help with the wedding?

Ah, you do just want to wind her up and annoy her or upset her at her own wedding.

Paying for things doesn’t entitle your mum to be involved, and if your mum has paid for “all kinds of nonsense” that’s your mums own fault for doing so.

My mum wants to help, why is she refusing? Anyway this is a bit off topic

“Show us the dress” = the new “cancel the cheque”.

IYKYK 😉

I’d usually say to go for it as it is floral and not completely white however the bride to be has made it clear she doesn’t want you to wear it and your brother has followed up to ask if you have found anything else to wear.. in this situation I wouldn’t wear it unfortunately

@princesspicker I’m not sure you’ve ever been told that just because you or your mum want to do something doesn’t mean that other people have to agree to it. The answer can be no to you and your mum, and that’s ok.

You know your white dress will only get you so far down the aisle and you've to sit in a pew, cos you know it's not your day? You're not a bride, let her have her day and return your dress. You sound like the SIL that we read about every day in MN. Change the dress for God's sake.

You seem difficult and self-centred so I’m going to assume it is actually inappropriate for a wedding but you dgaf.

Because it is not your mums wedding? Nor yours

Because she wants to organise her own wedding? Show us your dress.

It actually has a lot to do with it.
It is VERY clear that you do not like the bride. The tone, the wording/phrasing, it all screams it. It puts doubt around your version of events tbh. I mean, why would the bride see a random dress at your mums place that is not the dress either of you are wearing? Did she go snooping in her closet? You would have relished sharing that as another example of her unreasonableness 🙄

It sounds like she made a random comment about white at a wedding at some point, maybe even regarding their wedding, so you've decided to take that and run with it. Bought a dress that will push the boundaries to antagonise someone you intensely dislike, thinking you're being clever. Your mum is obviously on board btw. And now you want to either share your cleverness, justify your actions, or just 'prove' you've done nothing wrong because "everyone agrees" with you. Except they don't 🤷‍♀️

Personally, I think the 'rules' around weddings are stupid. Especially around what guests can and can't wear. I'd still adhere to the expectations around 'proper' etiquette no matter whose wedding it was. Family, friend, acquaintance. If I am invited guest, if I choose to accept, I absolutely will toe the line in regards to the expectation on me as a guest. Anything else and guess who ends up looking like the arsehole? Because they are btw.
Who purposely does something they know will upset the bride?

As I keep saying, my mum has paid for a lot of things. So in some ways it is my mums wedding

Jeez. Can you hear how you sound??

TBH I suggest you don’t go to the wedding at all as you’re clearly furious about the whole thing and looking to piss off the bride.

Is there a reason you can’t show us the dress @princesspicker ?

It’s really fucking not your mums wedding. And the fact that your mum is contributing to her sons wedding is perfectly normal but doesn’t give you the right to behave like a spoiled little brat. For whatever reason, your own wedding didn’t happen and you’re jealous. This gives you absolutely no right to try and ruin your brother and his new brides day. Now grow up

I voted yanbu if you say its not white but red and green. But changed to YABU as it clearly IS white or you'd have posted an example dress.

Obviously, it is not your mum's wedding.
It is common for parents to pay for their offspring's weddings.

And obviously, it is not your wedding.

You really don't like the bride, and clearly don't care about your brother much either. It all sounds very unpleasant.

<Shark Jumped Klaxon>

So in some ways it is my mums wedding

🤣🤣🤣 I know you've very likely made most, or all, of this story up but this is taking it too far !

I can think of two

One. The dress is white, we know it, the bride knows it, the OP knows it.

Two The OP is a drama lama who is so miffed about her own wedding cancellation that she will do anything to wind up her brothers fiancée is loving this thread Especially since she can now start arguing about the wedding “sort of being” her mums wedding because her mum has paid for stuff.

ps The dress the bride saw at OPs mums house? It was THE dress.

That’s not how that works. Presumably she contributed as a gift to the couple, rather than to buy control.

In addition to being bitter about your own cancelled wedding, your ex having successfully dodged a ballistic missile, you don’t like the bride and are looking to deliberately antagonize her on her wedding day.

Your brother will not choose you, so unless you have little interest in a relationship with him going forward, don’t put him in the position where he’ll have to make that choice.

I imagine, not too far in the future, that you’ll blame his wife for turning him against you, rather than accept that you were the one that did that.

But...your future SIL was talking about a dress of your mum's, not yours, according to your more recent posts - so why would your brother be contacting you about your dress (as per your OP). I'm finding this a bit confusing.