AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding?

[princesspicker]

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding. His gf saw my dress and said she thought it was inappropriate because she claims it’s white. The reality is that it’s not white, it has a red and green floral pattern. I don’t really have time to find a new dress but my brother keeps asking me if I’ve found something new, saying he and his gf are worried other guests will talk about me behind my back if I show up wearing something white (it’s not white!!). I think it’s so rude that they’re trying to police what I wear, especially when they know I had to call off my wedding last year and he’s my brother so I should get to wear something special to his wedding!

Congratulations! I hope it went well.
As a slip of the tongue, fine - but in the context of the OP, where the poster clearly dislikes her future SIL, it feels pointed. I personally think ‘partner’ is different and can cover gf / bf or spouses. But the couple getting married have chosen to make a legal commitment which means they are legally bound to each other as husband and wife, and to each other’s families as in-laws. This is quite clearly a different category to boyfriend and girlfriend, and I do think it is disrespectful for OP to repeatedly refer to her future SIL in this way.

Turn up in a tracksuit.

I didn’t say that.

I said she saw A DRESS at my parents house. She ASSUMED it was my mums dress. She told my mum it would be inappropriate to wear white at the wedding. My mum told her not to worry and that she won’t wear white. Then my mum told me about this because my mum and I picked out my dress together.

The dress she saw and my dress look similar.

You liking her would mean her feeling the dress was slightly off wouldnt put you in a mood about changing the dress. You would have just changed it. Not written on here and not tried to deflect from what dress it was.

Your dress clearly has a white background with florals. Change it use it somewhere else and allow your sister in law to be and brother to have the wedding they wished for.

Dont let your own disappointment about your wedding infiltrate on your brothers wedding..

Also YAB Very U.

Ok, so the dress isn’t pure white, it’s patterned with coloured florals on a white background.
But ….does it also have a bit of a train?
And a matching headpiece of some kind?

So many replies yet no photo of the dress…

But why are they trying to get you to change your dress if your mum didn’t say yours was similar?

it may well have a floral pattern but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a predominantly white dress. The fact you’re not posting the photo shows you know that

I don’t know about you but I’m a grown adult and I decide what I wear. Unless it’s an actual wedding dress OP can and should wear what she likes

I suspect OP has form for trying to upstage

So yours IS white then.

If you dont want to piss off your new SIL, just find another dress to wear. One which is not white, or with a white background. Not a big deal.

Clearly they’re obsessed with what i’ll be wearing

They’re not really making demands, they are clarifying that it is not appropriate to wear white as a guest to a wedding. The very fact that this needed to be clarified, and even when it was clarified is still an issue really speaks volumes. Some people have no manners. Let the bride have her day. Your wedding was called off, this isn’t your time….

I dont know about you but I am a grown woman, and as a grown woman I understand that everything is not about me so I use a bit of tact and some manners and I accept that I do not wear a white dress at somebodies elses wedding... and I wear that dress somewhere else and wear something else that I as a grown woman have decided on at my brothers wedding.

You are definitely one of those in laws a thread is going to be started about in the near future 🤣

Still no photo of the dress, eh?

Just wear a different dress ffs

it’s clear the bride doesn’t want you wearing something like the one you’ve got

Nobody here can say whether the bride is nuts or not unless you post a picture of your dress.

But here’s the thing, even if the bride is nuts and the dress is fine it would still be very unkind to wear a dress you know she thinks is inappropriate.

As pp said, the B&G’s feelings are what matter here. Why deliberately upset them??

So are we now. Post a fucking photo.

@princesspicker Are you planning to share a photo or link to your dress?
If you want honest opinions then you’re only going to get them if we know what your dress looks like by seeing a picture.

I don’t think it is, but she thinks it is. That’s why she said to my DM that wearing white would be inappropriate.

That’s why the title for this thread is what it is and why I tried to not give all these details in the OP, it’s confusing everyone. She claims the dress she saw is white. I disagree since it’s floral!!

Bride will post saying ' I reminded my in-laws not to wear white to my wedding, and look what my SiL wore!'.

Why are you making their wedding all about you?

It's a wedding dress, isn't it?

Are you Camilla wearing white to another wedding? This is QC at Peter Phillips’s wedding. Guess what, no one thought she was the bride! How stupid are these rules?

here’s the pix.