AIBU to think 21 and 27 is not a problem?

[nettienana]

DD21 has a new boyfriend who is 27. Recently met him - can't fault him, thought he was lovely.
Was out for lunch with a group of close friends yesterday, of course they were asking questions about him. Mentioned how old he was in answer to a question and it went down a bit weird - they were quite disapproving and saying it was a worry he is dating a 21 year old, says a lot he can't find someone his own age, they are at total different stages of life etc. One said she wouldn't allow it if it was her daughter! Lots of glances at each other, you know when you are very aware a topic is about to be discussed behind your back...

To be honest I hadn't thought it was an issue at all, if anything I thought a much better fit for DD to be with someone a bit older and more mature as she's ended up hurt a more than once by lads her own age (not saying she wouldn't be hurt by someone older). I do accept early twenties and late twenties are quite different phases of life, but DD has always been mature and independent. Obviously she is still a 21 year old, likes her friends and going out here and there, but she lives away, works, is doing a masters etc.

I know it doesn't matter what others think obviously, but naturally it has worried me a little bit. What would you think if it was your DD?

Id think i had shit friends if i were you.

Your friends are ridiculous.

6 years isn’t an age gap and they aren’t at different stages of life. There’s 5 years between me and DH.

And wouldn’t “allow it” - how is she going to stop it exactly, lock her in a tower? What an idiot.

That’s fine.

Two adults in their twenties having a relationship, nothing odd or uncommon about it.

I assume the one that says she wouldn’t “allow” it doesn’t have adult children?

6 years can be a big age gap at that age if one or other are immature, but also depending on the pairing it can be absolutely fine.

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I think it’s fine tbh. That wouldn’t phase me at all that age gap

It's within half age plus 7 so it's perfectly socially acceptable.

Ok honestly I think it’s quite a big gap but it does depend on how mature they are. I certainly would not comment to my dd (unless something standing out like he’s been previously married, never had a relationship or is obviously controlling). I would also be hacked off with friends commenting, none of their business and very judgy.

I started dating my now DH at 22, he was almost 28. He even had a 4 year old child! I bet your friends would be outraged 😂

11 years later and we are married with another 2 kids. 5/6 years is a perfectly normal age gap.

society and celebs have had much bigger age gaps, maddona, cher, etc at the end of the day if they treat each other respectfully and get along together then as an example a person who is eg 21 can enjoy cycleing the same as a 28 year old, different hobbies connect different people, also not everyone wants the whole family unit so then again different points for different people

also women have been called cougar women and had even a tv show created in that them, and i belive even sam off sex and city was a man hunter etc

I wouldn't have even given it a thought. How weird of your friends to react so strongly.

Her children are a few years younger actually, you are right. That's a good point!

These age gap discussions are getting more and more ridiculous. 6 years is not any sort of problem at their ages. If anything I'd say it's the perfect gap. They've probably rounded his age up to 30 (or even 40) in some attempt to pretend he's almost middle-aged dating an almost teen!

Haven't read the other comments but I had the same age gap. Met a few years before so I was 19 and he was 25 I think. I'm now 36. We've been married 14 years and have 2 kids. I really don't see an issue 🤷🏻‍♀️

Meh. I was 22 when I met DH, and he was 28. We're still happy 31 years later.

We are talking about two young adults in their twenties here.

I think you need nicer friends.

My 31 year old daughter has been with her 37 year old husband for 12 years, happily married for almost four. A six year age gap is nothing. Your friends are weird, they ‘ wouldn’t allow it’ … really !

Yeah good luck with your friend who wouldnt allow it🙄
Shes 21 hes 27 its perfectley normal.

a question how do people explain it when its the younger woman chasing the older guy when discussing how they got together with their friends or their parents discussing with their friends etc ?

What odd friends.

a 6 year age gap between a 16/17 year old and a 22/23 year old would be a bit icky but 21 & 27 is nothing.

Same gap that's between me and my DH. Not a problem.

Rude friends! I met my new DH at 18, he was 25. We worked together. We've been together for 15 years, married for 10 and have 2 children. That age gap is completely normal IMO.

Same ages here. Married over 30 years. It might depend on the individuals involved.

I've never heard that one before - I'll bear it in mind. Thank you.