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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think 21 and 27 is not a problem?

151 replies

nettienana · 24/06/2026 22:30

DD21 has a new boyfriend who is 27. Recently met him - can't fault him, thought he was lovely.
Was out for lunch with a group of close friends yesterday, of course they were asking questions about him. Mentioned how old he was in answer to a question and it went down a bit weird - they were quite disapproving and saying it was a worry he is dating a 21 year old, says a lot he can't find someone his own age, they are at total different stages of life etc. One said she wouldn't allow it if it was her daughter! Lots of glances at each other, you know when you are very aware a topic is about to be discussed behind your back...

To be honest I hadn't thought it was an issue at all, if anything I thought a much better fit for DD to be with someone a bit older and more mature as she's ended up hurt a more than once by lads her own age (not saying she wouldn't be hurt by someone older). I do accept early twenties and late twenties are quite different phases of life, but DD has always been mature and independent. Obviously she is still a 21 year old, likes her friends and going out here and there, but she lives away, works, is doing a masters etc.

I know it doesn't matter what others think obviously, but naturally it has worried me a little bit. What would you think if it was your DD?

OP posts:
MrsMe1978 · Today 11:06

nettienana · 24/06/2026 22:30

DD21 has a new boyfriend who is 27. Recently met him - can't fault him, thought he was lovely.
Was out for lunch with a group of close friends yesterday, of course they were asking questions about him. Mentioned how old he was in answer to a question and it went down a bit weird - they were quite disapproving and saying it was a worry he is dating a 21 year old, says a lot he can't find someone his own age, they are at total different stages of life etc. One said she wouldn't allow it if it was her daughter! Lots of glances at each other, you know when you are very aware a topic is about to be discussed behind your back...

To be honest I hadn't thought it was an issue at all, if anything I thought a much better fit for DD to be with someone a bit older and more mature as she's ended up hurt a more than once by lads her own age (not saying she wouldn't be hurt by someone older). I do accept early twenties and late twenties are quite different phases of life, but DD has always been mature and independent. Obviously she is still a 21 year old, likes her friends and going out here and there, but she lives away, works, is doing a masters etc.

I know it doesn't matter what others think obviously, but naturally it has worried me a little bit. What would you think if it was your DD?

I don’t think that age gap is a problem at all.
I got with my husband when I was 23 and he was 31. Been together 24 years!

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