to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

God bless you. I feel you. But please no, just no 😂

This obvious wind up has got 17 pages

Why are people being so awful to her?! She’s pregnant ffs we have all been there! HORMONES?!

Stupidest (or most disingenuous) OP I've read in a long, long while.

Stop insulting us, @Lookingback01

You would be unreasonable to say anything. No matter your size or body there are sexy undies out there - get yourself some.

So do what adults do with irrational feelings — deal with them internally. Don’t make them someone else’s problem.

I think your hormones are in full swing, love.

It's crazy thinking but hormones can do that!

Hoping you return to sanity, soon. It's horrible when you know you're not your usual self.

My neighbour asked me this once. I was absolutely gobsmacked, I'm not going to lie, it made me make a lot of assumptions about her and became hyper aware of any hint of arguments through the wall. I was not surprised when the husband left her a year later.

I hadn't spotted that you're pregnant. Definitely hormones, sweetheart.

I feel for you. You'll look back one day and laugh but I appreciate it's very real for you, right now.

Hope the hormones calm a bit, soon.

Ahhhhhh OP I feel for you. You know this is madness surely?

It will pass.

Don’t do it! You’ll make a fool of yourself. It’s just hormones!

I can never understand all this pearl clutching about other people's laundry hanging on the line!

oh my days you should not be analysing your neighbours washing. That’s weird. Get help.

Get a grip. Shes drying her washing for goodness sake!

Sure, you can, but she will think you’re either jealous, untrusting, petty, nosey, slightly crazy ot something else along those lines and actually, you don’t have a say in what she does or says in her back garden unless it’s breaking the law or anti-social.

Save it for when you have a real problem with your neighbour, like an overhanging tree, bonfire with your washing or windows open, loud party at 3am. That kind of thing.

Tolerance is imperative when you live close to people.

Sorry but the issue is yours & yours alone. Don’t make it other people’s to deal
with

So many crazy threads the past few days. Makes me think a writing group has set a challenge to their members to see who can post the most outlandish thing about garden usage to garner comments. We've had the naked next door neighbours on one thread, another poster wanting to set designated garden usage times, someone wanting to make an official complaint about bbq usage and now this. I can't believe anyone would think it acceptable to ask a neighbour to take their lingerie off the line.

This cannot be real? Is the sun making everyone go absolutely insane ?!

Don’t be ridiculous.

Oh OP, as much as I feel for you in that pregnancy hormones are wild and it's hot, you are being absolutely insane and you cannot do that.

Go and get under a fan and close your curtains.

I cannot think of any circumstance where I didn't fancy someone, but then saw their underwear hanging on a washing line then thought actually yes I do fancy her now.

Might go and hang my boxers out now though in case it works the other way round.

Yes it is apparently making people utterly insane.

Particularly amongst the new build owners who have decided vaping, talking, being naked and hanging washing out in the garden is selfish.

I can guarantee that the ones complaining the loudest are the ones who are being just as irritating (if not more) than their neighbours.

Do people not think these things through?

But for the OP, pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to be an arse to the neighbour just because you have it in your head that your husband is going to fancy her just from seeing her underwear (when you have already said she is good looking anyway).

If he loses his mind after seeing underwear on the line, you have bigger issues.

It’s not always that easy though with sleep deprivation and hormones etc. Kindly, you need to get a grip on yourself before you make yourself look ridiculous.

Not sure how long you have been married but it would be good for you to work on trusting your DH, marriage is hard enough without one person letting their imagination (likely falsely) run away with them.
In regards to being pregnant, your hormones will very likely be influencing how you are feeling but that doesn’t mean your neighbour has to do anything as she is not being unreasonable hanging out washing and it is no one’s place to judge someone else’s washing line. Also worth considering how beautiful pregnant women are to their partners. It is well over a decade since my last pregnancy and my DH still fondly reminisces that I have never been sexier (to him) than when I was pregnant (if it is relevant I am naturally slim when not pregnant). Also worth remembering, a marriage is about more than looks, a pair of nice knickers and a svelte body are not likely to serious turn the head of a happily married man.
All feelings are valid but some are best kept private and not disclosed to your neighbour. I hope you feel better soon.

😆 had to comment again because I’m still in shock at this ! I’ve been pregnant 3 times so I know how pregnancy hormones can make us feel but this is next level. I think your issue is you don’t trust dh for some reason, you’re probably feeling shit because you’re pregnant and don’t feel attractive right now but I can guarantee your dh loves you so much more than he ever did before now you’re carrying his child.