to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Very funny.

Blaming hormones and not owning their own thoughts?

Brilliant 😂

A little soliloquy, yes. I feel their obsession with women's 'nature' would lend itself to twisted mindgames.

Can we please stop acting like it's every woman's goal, destiny or ambition to be pregnant? And can we stop acting like OP is in some sort of competition with her neighbor? The neighbor has done nothing wrong.

Can I even take down my own laundry any longer. This thread is mildly inhibiting.

Oh you! My bathroom isn't damp nor smelly. I open the window after I shower. Ditto when I'm drying anything in there. And when the weather is too bad for window opening, it's also too bad for line drying so everything is on the bathroom lines with a dehumidifier running beneath. It dries quickly, either way.

No you can't... other people's washing is none of your business and your neighbour will think you are crazy.

Oh yes it's totally the woman who hung her knickers on the lines fault she got raped.

WTF did I just read.

Pregnancy hormones can be really tough OP so a very gentle yabu. Ultimately seeing her underwear isn't going to make your husband fancy her, he's probably hasn't even noticed what she's got on her washing line. You'd look like a complete idiot if you sent that note so don't do it.

Well there kind of was wasn't there: she's so worried he will notice the underwear, she's drawn attention to it by getting him to worry she's going to embarrass them all by saying something to the neighbour.

OP, I can feel your angst in all this - if it is real - but you cannot possibly ask her to not dry her underwear on her own property. This is your insecurity shouting speaking, and I feel sorry for you, as it isn't nice to be feeling so insecure and vulnerable.

If this really becomes an issue, you may be best to approach her about contributing to a higher fence. Maybe do something in your garden she doesn't want to see? Like pilates in big knickers.

Well, I think he has now because OP asked him about whether she should say something. It is probably very much in his mind at this point. If my DH was asking my neighbour not to take his top off in case I could not control my lust I would probably be thinking about said neighbour more than usual ...

I mean, I tried everything, including bicarb babes, but it just won't fix the unfixable 🫠

You don’t have to act on every feeling. If you know you’re wrong, decide not to act on the wrong feeling.

Yes and she pretty much said that herself. My comment was in reply to someone saying “are you pregnant? That’s the only reason for this”

My comment was in reply to someone saying “are you pregnant? That’s the only reason for this”

You sound batshit, paranoid and jealous

Where did I say it's the victim's fault?

Making a personal decision to mitigate against risk is not victim blaming.

Wow, this is a joke post, right? You have absolutely no right to ask her that.
She's using her washing line for what it was intended for and if you are feeling affronted by that then tough shit, suck it up.

It's note quite, but almost body shaming her.

The fact that you mentioned nursing bras makes me realise that this is your hormones.

I've said and done batshit things when I was pregnant, breastfeeding. Don't do it. You will regret it!!

Firstly this has to be a joke, if it’s not then you need to have a word with yourself.

I think you need to get a grip! Having said that you said you're wearing maternity bras, so I'm presuming you're post partum and it's your hormones? Perhaps look into a taller fence, but you can't ask her to bring her underwear in, that's unreasonable.

Oh hun. Pull your big knickers up and come to your senses. Men don’t look at neighbours washing lines. Stop stressing

l think it’s a combination of Hormones and feeling a little less confident.
Dont write any notes, concentrate on your lovely new addition and buy a bigger fence- you will need it when the child gets older
plus a shed!
Take care x

I do feel sorry for you, reading this. If you're wearing maternity bras, it may be you're expecting or have recently had a baby and most of us know how those crazy hormones can affect our emotions and responses to the smallest thing. Talk to your husband, tell him how you're feeling and, if this is pregnancy or post natal hormonal imbalance, he will (hopefully) reassure you and tell you you have nothing to worry about. Maybe speak to your GP too? Thinking of you x