Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He said he didn't want a meal then made himself something I don't eat

156 replies

Abbyarn · 23/06/2026 16:57

DP went to the supermarket earlier to get us something for our tea. Beforehand, he repeatedly said he didn't want a meal today and just fancied a salad. Its 37 degrees here and he didn't want to add to the heat in the apartment by cooking.

I would've happily had something more substantial but took on board what he said about the heat indoors.

I said fair enough, I'll just have a cheese and pickle sandwich then if you're having salad.

Meal time comes, I have half of my sandwich (which was shit because the cheese was warm) then I go into the kitchen afterwards to see him cooking prawn stir fry, eggs on the side. A big wok full of food.

Wtf? I thought you didn't want a meal I said.. I changed my mind he said.

I said he could have called and said that and I'd have asked him to get me something else.

He said he only changed his mind once he was in the shop.

I hate prawns which he knows very well, so I wasn't going to eat any of it.

AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
MummyWillow1 · 24/06/2026 16:58

He’s not a mind reader. He changed his mind. He is allowed to do that. Perhaps take a cold shower and reconsider…

Cloudconfusion · 24/06/2026 17:19

Clearingaspace · 24/06/2026 09:59

Well based on this thread thats clearly not true! I am surprised so many people seem to think the dh wasn’t unreasonable .

In reality they were both somewhat unreasonable and it’s a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, but the dh was being selfish to say it’s too hot to use the oven, then change his mind at the supermarket and not offer his wife the option to change her mind or to offer to share the stir fry without prawns with his wife - prawns only need a few minutes so could have been added alongside a different protein after her share was dished out.

She’s not said they are married, she’s not even said they live together

Lilypad789 · 24/06/2026 17:48

If I were you I would be fine with him but just cook your own meals going forward. He’ll probably hate that and you can just say ‘I thought you wanted to make individual decisions about dinner going forward.’

Eggs2022 · 24/06/2026 21:40

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:25

I give up trying to explain lack of consideration to you, you don’t get it. To be considerate is not to have to be expressly told to do something, it’s to have it in you to consider others. I guess you either have it or you don’t. I do have it, and thank god so does my husband.

I have it and so does my husband- but what I also have that you seem to sorely lack is grace - I give my husband grace if out of every 100 times he can and does consider me there’s one where he doesn’t act perfectly, because nobody is perfect (except you and your husband apparently) and don’t make a massive fuss and get horribly offended… that’s what’s missing here, not whether or not he was inconsiderate but is it really such a massive deal if it’s a once off and otherwise he’s great?

Theonethatlurks · 24/06/2026 21:59

Eggs2022 · 24/06/2026 21:40

I have it and so does my husband- but what I also have that you seem to sorely lack is grace - I give my husband grace if out of every 100 times he can and does consider me there’s one where he doesn’t act perfectly, because nobody is perfect (except you and your husband apparently) and don’t make a massive fuss and get horribly offended… that’s what’s missing here, not whether or not he was inconsiderate but is it really such a massive deal if it’s a once off and otherwise he’s great?

Nope, not at all, I don’t think it’s a massive deal at all if he is otherwise great. It’s a dinner for Gods sake. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that in this instance he was inconsiderate. He was. 🤷‍♀️ I love the fact that my husband would consider me in this situation and I no doubt would consider him too.

ScabbyHorse · 24/06/2026 22:18

My partner just wouldn’t do this.. he’d make something he knew I’d like and vice versa

New posts on this thread. Refresh page