To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

My, he sounds classy. And intelligent. What a keeper.

🤮

Or perhaps "Ones bloom was accompanied by a scent not altogether consistent with refinement" would have been more polite?

I probably would’ve found this hilarious at 18, but at 36 I think I’d be put off

Is he hoping for a shag in this heat or something? 🤢

gross who speaks like that. Dump him

My fanjo would be clamped shut from now on , if I were you

Cancel without a second thought.

My husband and I had a quick hug in the kitchen this morning and agreed that's the last time we'd be needing to even breathe near each other until Saturday earliest, let alone touch each other - love you bye!

Ick.

Uurrrgggg.

I think that having now slept with you he's being more himself and not on best behaviour.

Unfortunately, the side of himself he has relaxed into showing you is gross.

Is he living in some kind of 1970s time warp or something? I like to think have a sense of humour but it is firmly based in the current decade. I would be inclined to worry that this type of comment is telling you a lot more about him than he meant to reveal. The mask has slipped a bit there....

I'd find that very crass and think we probably weren't well suited.

This means you have low standards.

Eww! That would be immediate ick for me, with no coming back. Crude & vulgar, which may be ok if you'd known each other a long time/shared that kind of humour but after 5 dates it's a hard no. If you do cancel and are truthful about why, be prepared for a barrage of defensive insults. His macho ego won't be able to cope that his behaviour is at fault.

I cancelled on someone for a comment that went along the lines of ,
’I wouldn’t need to take you to bed , I’d have you on the stairs’
Im no prude but I hadn’t slept with him and I felt it was massively overstepping and made me uncomfortable . Instant ick .

Only you know how you feel OP , but fact you posted this gives you your answer in my opinion.

Instant ick.

And definitely feel a bit nauseous.

Don’t tell him why though so he can continue to reveal himself early doors for future victims dates.

It is the presumption isn't it? It is so bloody telling.

OP, go with your gut here. Not with standing that this tells you a lot about his humour, attitude to women and cultural references, he now thinks that you are a sure thing. It is possessive and creepy language and to me would be a massive red flag in 2026. God knows what his mates are like if this passes for humour.

"I'd have you" is quite declarative.
Because women are meant to be taken. 🙄

It’s not just the presumption, it’s the suggestion that your vagina might smell if you didn’t freshen up. It feels like negging

He's definitely trying it on.

I'd cancel for the lol, never mind the growler.

I wouljdn't be up for a shag after that comment.

If there are really no other red flags, I'd probably cancel the date but not the man. Yet.

@Datingwoee It's a crass joke, but is it worth ditching someone over this?

There are loads of men who do things a lot worse than this, and yet, their partners don't break up with them.

Is this not a situation in which you can say you didn't like the joke because of X, and then move on?