To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

Young people? I’m middle aged and would immediately lose attraction for a man who spoke like this.

I’d find it funny and a bit flirtatious

I'm sorry but I did laugh 😂 I personally wouldn't cancel a date over that comment.

It depends on the context. But from your reaction I doubt this is the kind of language you used up to now while chatting so I would firstly make sure he knows you are not amused and dont find it finny - and secondly, would re-evaluate how suitable you are. Some people "get" this kind of "banter", some - don't. If up to now he was a perfect gent and after having sex thinks he can talk to you like this.... I would find it very off putting.

Does his name begin with A?

Urban dictionary says so - I had to look it up too!

But I would add - for him, it may be a sigh of familiarity. Like farting in front of each other when you are a couple etc.

I think it’s a yellow card, not a red
But he’s definitely on a final warning

Euw that is gross. People fart in front of each other? On purpose?

The OP didn’t bring it up. She didn’t say ‘Let’s delay the date for an hour so I can wash my vulva ready to have sex with you’. She said she wanted to ‘freshen up’ and although a couple of posters have interpreted that as meaning washing genitals (🤔) I think to most people it means have a shower/brush teeth.

I would have to have known a man a few years to be able to laugh that one off.so yeah, no decorum, cancel the date.

Yep. And call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't be shagging someone by the 3rd/4th date either (as the OP appears to have done.) And imagine having sex with a man and almost immediately afterwards, he mentions you making sure you clean your smelly fanny!

Do you think he was maybe hinting at something @Datingwoee ?

I know right! This place never ceases to amaze me! According to a few people here. 'I'm going to freshen up' means 'I'm going to wash my vulva.' WTAF?! 😂

Eww. Crass. No, just no.

Ick. What a knob!

Surely you wash your vulva in the shower too?

So his joke still stands.

Me too!!! Maybe not necessarily washing your bits exclusively, but definitely washing smelly parts (washing pits, brushing teeth etc, including bits!) I just think it's a gross phrase that gives way too much info 😅
It definitely reads to me "we're going to have sex again so I need a shower after work"

The only thing is… Whiffy growler will keep popping into your head mid-shag. Dump him!

That'd give me the ick, I'd feel grossed out if dh said that now, let alone when we'd just started dating. If it's not for you, and you don't like that humour, it's better to know now and move on to someone more sophisticated!

Of course we all wash our vulva in the shower. And that’s what this man decided to focus on and make a joke out of. Why didn’t he say: ‘Don’t want you having greasy hair/smelly breath/sweaty armpits’? Maybe because it would be weird. As the growler comment is.

I know its a joke. Its a shit joke.

I think there are people for whom that's fairly everyday language and back and forth. And if I'd met them in that sort of environment and liked them enough to date them then I'd probably find it it okay. But unless that was the way I'd generally been talking with someone before that point, I would be put off by it.

I'm not sure discussing a smelly fanny really is flirtatious to me, but we are all different and its different strokes for different folks. I definitely think it's a sign he isn't for OP, and clearly there's people out there he is for and would love smelly growler chat with him..... I think she should cut him loose so he can find someone like you who thinks he's a laugh. Better to fully enjoy everything than try and ignore the bad bits especially at date 5.

If you think you could tell him how crude that statement was, I would be tempted to do that, see his reaction, then decide if he is worth your time.

Some men are actually pretty apologetic and appreciative of pointing poor language/ behaviour.

Others will dismiss your feedback as 'bants' - these are the dickhead brigade