AIBU to say no to neighbours using my garden daily during heatwave?

[notanEverydayThing]

AIBU to say no to neighbours about dc playing in my garden every day this week?

I live in an end terrace house there’s a gate onto a small lane and then a block of flats , I know a couple of the families as the dc go to the same school. They have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy.

Yesterday I had the paddling pool and splash thing out for my dc and invited the neighbours round . I’ve set it up again today and on the way home they asked can they come again and I said ‘not today sorry but maybe on Friday ?’ One of the mums said ‘but it’s boiling !’ I said I know but I wanted to just have a quiet afternoon/ evening and I have work tomorrow and Thu to which she said ‘so you won’t be there at all? Can we use the garden / pool on those days?’ I said no !!!! I feel she’s being rude! I said happy Friday for everyone to come over again after school but she tutted and walked off

I know it’s hot but I don’t want them here everyday and especially when I’m not home tomorrow and Thursday!!!

You’re not being unreasonable at all, she is rude to even ask. If she lives in a flat and doesn’t have a garden that’s not your problem. That’s like asking someone if they can use your bed whilst away because theirs is broke, silly.

She sounds like the type of person that will be sat at your Christmas table at dinner time and you’ve no idea how she ended up being invited.

Don’t make eye contact again.

Some people are just so cheeky if they wanted a garden they should have bought a house with one.

Give her an inch and she'll take a mile. Perhaps the flat dwellers could tidy up their own shared garden instead.

She could put one in her shared garden. She just wants use of yours.

Your home is set up for you, not her convenience. Pushy. You did her a favour, now she wants more.

No is the answer.

Tell her she and her kids are not permitted on your property. She's going to try to go there when you're not there and that leaves you open liability wise if her kids get hurt. Empty the pools on days you're not there. Here they're considered an attractive nuisance.

Have they not got their own gardens?

I would guess they have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy but there's no way to be certain.

Yanbu, she’s a cf. I’d be rescinding the Friday offer.

No good deed goes unpunished.
Don't be too pally.

Yes she was rude.. and no of course you don't have to...

But on the other hand, you had an opportunity to help out some families in a temporary heatwave, and personally I would hope a lot of people would have helped them out.

For all the judgement above about people who live in flats. Mostly it isn't a choice. Very few people in the UK can afford a lovely house with a nice big garden, and "choose" to live with their kids in a flat with no garden...

Like during covid, families who are stuck in flats can have a really rough time in heatwaves, and while you have no obligation to do so, would it have hurt you too much to help - making sure to say its only during the really hot weather.

I wouldn't invite her or her dcs back again tbh. There really are some people who take a mile if you give an inch.

My garden is too hot to use atm. I know someone with a pool along the road who let me use it a few time, and I thanked her with lots of wine. It would be lovely to use it today but I would never ask. Never. I tell my dcs the same - you always wait to be invited

If you don’t have a garden with a paddling pool but would like to use someone else’s, your best bet would to not be extremely pushy and ride to those who might invite you round.

If they have an outdoor space that's not secure they can still use it, the adults need to take it in turns to supervise the children. I'm glad you said no @notanEverydayThing , if it's a hot summer you'll find yourself being pestered every day to use your pool.

Better make sure you put the pool away when you're not there, otherwise they'll be coming round anyway.

I agree with PPs she can buy a paddling pool and fill it from her metered water and sit out minding her own kids in the allocated space for her home.

If it's messy I am sure nobody would mind her tidying it so long as she doesn't then act like she owns it. Potentially her kids could help with her supervision.

🤣🤣🤣

They could tidy their grassy area and get their own pool.

She wants free use of OP's garden and pool set up including when OP is working or not at home.

That's unsafe. OP has a right to quiet enjoyment of her property and she will be liable for anything that happens on it even when she isn't there. Who knows who could show up. Things will get damaged, someone could be hurt and OP could be sued. No fucking way. Flat person can set up a sprinkler or a little wader using buckets. She doesn't want the effort.

OP had better lock her garden and house down and get a doorbell camera and ask her neighbours to report of people are on her property when she's not there.

If a guy can set up a little wading pool on the subway, pushy person can set one up in the grassy area.

The tutting alone would mean I would never let her or her kids set a toe on my property again. It was really rude of her to invite herself when you were there, beyond entitled to ask if she could use your garden when you were not even there and to be so rude when told no?! She can get bent.

No, you’re not being unreasonable! Tell them to tidy up their own garden spaces, invest in outdoor play equipment and stop using you as an unpaid childminder.

you should make sure your garden is locked as otherwise her children are coming round when you aren’t in

Yup, lock your back gate and get cctv if you feel it’s warranted.

🤣

Human beings never cease to amaze me.

How very rude of her, and no of course they can't use the pool when you are not there. It sounds like she wouldn't even supervise properly.