Headteacher criticised my daughter's water bottle

[Suchevilforebodings]

Slightly annoyed at my DD's headteacher. She is 8 and in Y3

I packed her bag yesterday morning and noticed as I filled up her water bottle that it was leaking from the lid. Grabbed another only to see it was split down the side. Annoying but one of those things.
When dropping her off at school, we popped into the local shop next door and grabbed her a large plastic bottle of water with a spout lid.

She came home from school yesterday and said that her headteacher, when visiting the classroom, had picked up her bottle from in front of her and told the whole class that this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.

She's a very sensitive child was really quite upset and being told she's killing turtles, which she loves, and also at what she perceived as being "in trouble" as she loves school, is a good pupil, and hasn't ever been told off.

I get that the head isn't actually wrong, and I wouldn't normally buy bottled water but it was a "needs must" situation.

Was this an appropriate way to bring it up?

I hate kids getting in trouble for their parents actions. If the head had an issue, he could have popped you an email or grabbed you at the end of the day. Does he really think your 8 year old has much, if any, control of what water she's given. It's the same on shoes etc - the kids at primary have zero control, it's just embarrassing them for no reason.
I'd just have a quiet word, maybe he doesn't appreciate that as a Head his words will carry weight and kids will feel intimidated. My sons head is very tall and imposing, he told me he deliberately chooses kind things to say, and even asks for kids to pop by his office to congratulate them on things so they learn he's not to be feared and he has plenty of positive interactions, regularly, to mitigate any discipline he gets involved in - I think your head could learn something from that. Kids that age get very intimated easily by grown ups in positions of power.

@Besafeeatcake

calm down, not all single use plastic is “disgusting”

What’s wrong with being sensitive?

Absolutely not okay! I’m a teacher and I’d be fuming if someone did that to a child in my class. Regardless of what anyone thinks about single use water bottles, (and let’s be honest there’s very few people who can actually say they don’t buy the odd bottle of water!) clearly a child hasn’t decided what they’ve come to school with. I HATE when children are made to feel bad about something they haven’t got control over like that. What he said was totally inappropriate and I would hope they see sense and apologise.

The message is absolutely ridiculous if she is referring to reusable plastic water bottles as being what you ‘should’ have. Kids could have cups at school, or they could drink out of the freaking tap like we used to…remember water fountains?? One metal spout for hundreds of kids? Now you have hundreds of kids with hundreds of novelty water bottles. All unnecessary waste that ends up in landfill - as proven by the one OP had that was cracked.

No need to shame a little girl who had no choice over what water bottle she was using at school on a very hot day. As if any head teacher wouldn’t realise that would be embarrassing for a kid, especially a shy one.

@Mistymagletsdo you think 8 year olds are stupid? Do you think they didn’t know exactly whose water bottle that belonged to? I would have died if the head had done that to me.

I think it's important to note that the head is factually wrong. If you put that bottle in your bin, that is collected by your council, it's really unlikely to end up in the sea (and even less likely to kill a turtle).

I'm not saying you shouldn't use a re-usable bottle, but the bottle going into the sea just isn't credible.

Perfectly calm and yes it is.

The school doesn't have water?
I went through god knows how many years of schooling without needing the extra burden of carrying my own water.

You are right to be upset. I'm a teacher and I sometimes joke with students but I have to be careful around students I think might have a harder time with it. I would not humiliate them like this though. Also targeting one student is not okay. He could have given a general warning like 'try not to bring in plastic bottles' instead of focusing specifically on her. I would send an email across about it. Its unacceptable to make someone feel anxious about a water bottle and it's not like the students have much control over which bottle their parents give them.

But in this case if there was criticism it should have gone to the parent.

The child didn’t buy the water bottle herself.

and in this weather with a thousand school emails about uniform and water and hats and sun cream…. Any parent might have chosen to buy a bigger water bottle from the shop if they were worried their child’s normal one wasn’t suitable.

The head was inappropriate and I would personally complain.

I imagine that a single-use plastic bottle was picked up and used as example, rather than them purposefully targeting your daughter and picking up her specific bottle.

It's unfortunate that there's a reasonable back-story and that your daughter is upset, but the liklihood is that it was a simple teachable moment being used in the classroom; "Make sure you bring water bottles and drink lots in the hot weather, but try to bring reusable bottles and not ones like this because they can hurt nature".

Without jumping on my high horse too much, plastic pollution is a very real issue and schools are there to educate and encourage children to be better. Try not to take it personally.

Primary teaching can attract the dogooder types who like to tick people off. The can be hard work to work with but on the upside they are often good on safeguarding and making sure your child eats their lunch.

Many primary teachers are lovely and get the balance right though.

This comment is SO dismissive to the actual role that primary school teachers fulfil.

But hey, at least the ones that aren't "lovely" are making sure children eat their lunch.

Er- this as related would upset most 8 year olds?
As related I can't see any teacher at my daughter's school doing this? In fact the older the child the more likely they might be upset they personally are killing animals?
Roll with the punches??

I totally agree the proliferation of water bottles and the industry that has become. Our school has a fountain but what's wrong with a tap and cups?

The teacher is wrong - that was a perfect opportunity to teach kids about recycling and there is evidence that some reusable bottles are WORSE than single use plastic as will e

died? Really? How have you got through life?

Primary teaching can attract the dogooder types who like to tick people off

Lots of 18 year olds embark on the training becasue they are " this type" of person? They are driven by the desire to tick people off about water bottles....really?

Honestly, I'd email the Head and class teacher and simply make that point - it was a needs must for one day, that calling it out in front of an entire class was highly unnecessary and disappointing. I'm a Chair of Governors - i can assure you that your child being hydrated should be more important (especially in a heatwave) than a bottle that can (& probably will be) recycled properly after an emergency situation.

As I very quiet child this would have upset my son too. Everyone would clearly have been thinking “Ooo Jonny is bad, he’s not got the correct water bottle”.

It doesn't change the fact that pushing any agenda,no matter how worthy ,is unprofessional and unacceptable by a head teacher- to shame a student into the bargain should get her sacked, professional standards need to be maintained,just as much as the oceans.

Address this formally with the head teacher:

In this weather, any way children are getting access to water is good. Praise and encouragement is essential.

Humiliating and frightening a child especially when it's something she had no control over is cowardly behaviour.

Oh dear, like many people in many professions she's got a superiority complex. I would complain about her grandstanding and singling our your daughter. Very poor communication skills.

Yeah and that is how sensitive kids end up with crippling anxiety and unable to go to school (or even leave the house in some cases) by the time they get far through secondary school.
Yes the world is an overwhelming place but that's no reason to lean in to it.

To the op, my advice would be to discuss it with the school, I'm sure it will be a useful lesson for the head.