Headteacher criticised my daughter's water bottle

[Suchevilforebodings]

Slightly annoyed at my DD's headteacher. She is 8 and in Y3

I packed her bag yesterday morning and noticed as I filled up her water bottle that it was leaking from the lid. Grabbed another only to see it was split down the side. Annoying but one of those things.
When dropping her off at school, we popped into the local shop next door and grabbed her a large plastic bottle of water with a spout lid.

She came home from school yesterday and said that her headteacher, when visiting the classroom, had picked up her bottle from in front of her and told the whole class that this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.

She's a very sensitive child was really quite upset and being told she's killing turtles, which she loves, and also at what she perceived as being "in trouble" as she loves school, is a good pupil, and hasn't ever been told off.

I get that the head isn't actually wrong, and I wouldn't normally buy bottled water but it was a "needs must" situation.

Was this an appropriate way to bring it up?

Explain to the HT in the circumstances you had no option but to send your DD to school with this new water bottle because you had no alternative.

It was extremly innapropriate for the HT to patronise your DD in these circumstances, and their actions could lead to her experiencing bullying at the hands of other weaker minded pupils, and if this does happen in the future you should expect the HT to deal with it and promptly.

Yes. All single use plastic is bad, including that used by the NHS. I do not dispute this.
My post was never intended to debate whether or not single use plastic is bad for the planet. Of course it is.
It's about the headteacher's way of going about things.

BTW, for what it's worth, I don't intend to buy my DD a new bottle until it is necessary. We are reusing this one now, probably at least until the end of term.

No I don't think he should have said that. At least she had water. One of my DC takes a plastic bottle, she's autistic and only will drink from the plastic ones, it's better than not having any at all.
Do teachers not realise the impact their words have? I still remember the embarrassments in front of class from my teachers in the 80s/90s, I thought they would have moved on by now.

It’s not the attachment to the water bottle it’s the fact the HT lifted HER bottle up and made her feel as if SHE had done something wrong.

I fear for the future is somebody is traumatised by a 10 second clumsy comment about a bottle. Move on.

I think that single use plastic is pretty fucking essential in the NHS. Unless you'd rather have people boiling up their own syringes and needles to inject their medication and have to take it on trust that the tiny tube your blood test needle has been adequately cleaned after being used on somebody with hepatitis?

Yes, it's essential, but its bad that it's essential, if that makes sense

Sorry, can't. Far too traumatised. I will not rest until the headteacher is sacked.

I fear for the future of children subjected to such a poor example of a HT.

Most HTs understand children, their brains and the damage of humiliation in front of peers. Thankfully.

Do you think their peers are kind in the playground? That life is a bed of roses in a Secondary school?

And the fact children can be cruel to each other somehow makes it ok when a HT does it?

school staff are meant to lead by example in a good way. That was certainly always the ethos in the 20+ years I worked in schools anyway.

How on earth can you see what that head teacher said as being cruel it’s a piece of information with a visual aid unless OP is going on about it I don’t expect the child to have thought about it once

Oh dear. If this was me I would just explain to my child what the HT meant, explain it’s obviously a one-off as the other bottles were leaking, tell them not to worry about it and move on. Buy a new reusable bottle and forget about it. I get a lot of children are very sensitive now but they need to get some resilience.

How on earth can you not see that in effect he singled out OP's child and criticised her publicly?

Are we thinking that we should have HTs entering classrooms embarrassing children because that’s how we can make our kids resilient?

So the the HT is not doing a shit job - they are actually leading the way and returning resilience to the nation - sounds easy, let’s get on with embarrassing all kids and we’ll be a
strong nation again in no time.

Thanks op for posting this op, your dd is so lucky, she’ll be resilient after this snd hopefully we can encourage other educators to follow suit. Britain will be great once again! Lovely! 🥰

Well since you completely just lost it on this post and got personal, insulting and quite frankly over the top my grip is fine. Yours is clearly lost reading this post. My empathy, attitude and understanding of kids is just fine.

I genuinely thought I was going insane reading all of these comments.

It was a thoughtless passing comment; not an angry, self-righteous tirade against the child.

Reassure her that she's not murdering turtles and move on. This is life - she's nearly in Year 4, not Reception.

Er, no, I didn't "lose it" at all., thanks. What a silly, projecting comment.

Almost as silly as the absurdly hyperbolic statement I was responding to.

“It was a thoughtless passing comment”

And those thoughtless comments have consequences. A HT should know better.

Everyone in that room, including the child, knew that that water bottle belong to that child. That child has been singled out in front of their peers. It’s not okay.

Imagine you being singled out in your workplace by your boss in front of 29-59 co-workers how would that make you feel? You’d be trotting off to HR!

I always used to reuse an empty 'single use' water bottle at school, could usually get a term of use out of it. I can't remember if 'proper' water bottles were really a thing in the 90s. People used to bring in their lunches in empty butter tubs etc. I think it's wrong of the HT to assume your daughter wasn't going to use that bottle again.

Unless they picked it up and said "GLASSBLUEBIRD IS A TERRIBLE HUMAN AND HERE IS HER BOTTLE TO PROVE IT", no, I wouldn't.

The HT absolutely should have read the room better, but the outrage and anger people are showing is completely disproportionate.

The classroom is not a public place, I cannot believe the soppiness in the way you’re talking about children’s understanding and ability to deal with just facts

I mean agree with you here that one PP who are called for him to be sacked is way off the mark. But an email highlighting the situation or an appointment to discuss would be appropriate. As would an apology to the child for humiliating her in class. A HT with decent leadership skills who understands the impact of their words would do that.

And therein lies the problem. The HT made a slip, a clumsy comment. No he, should not be sacked for this. This is not comparable to some hideous, on going bullying in the work place.