Headteacher criticised my daughter's water bottle

[Suchevilforebodings]

Slightly annoyed at my DD's headteacher. She is 8 and in Y3

I packed her bag yesterday morning and noticed as I filled up her water bottle that it was leaking from the lid. Grabbed another only to see it was split down the side. Annoying but one of those things.
When dropping her off at school, we popped into the local shop next door and grabbed her a large plastic bottle of water with a spout lid.

She came home from school yesterday and said that her headteacher, when visiting the classroom, had picked up her bottle from in front of her and told the whole class that this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.

She's a very sensitive child was really quite upset and being told she's killing turtles, which she loves, and also at what she perceived as being "in trouble" as she loves school, is a good pupil, and hasn't ever been told off.

I get that the head isn't actually wrong, and I wouldn't normally buy bottled water but it was a "needs must" situation.

Was this an appropriate way to bring it up?

I thought it was funny x

I wouldn’t be happy using this as a class lesson for a sensitive child, it’s an important message.
I send mine in with a flip water bottle everyday. They’d hate me.
The annoying bottle return scheme will be introduced in England, October 27, it’ll help with the guilt.
I recycle the bottles for my 15c back.

I am a bit surprised since your dd apparently had two non working bottles that no one else in your family had a spare she could have used for the day.

I’d be inclined to drop his PA a quick email explaining and then forget it

Are you normally so easily surprised 😂

Damn, you caught me, I just saw an opportunity to kill a turtle and took it.

Another over promoted man in the primary sector?

Humiliating eight year olds for something they have not done is shockingly bad form for a teacher of this age group let alone a head teacher. I wonder what the (usually female) staff think of their new head?

That kind of comment should be generalised to a class discussion or assembly.

I'm not. They never seem to last long in our family

Whats boring and unoriginal is yet another mum worrying that her little darling, who happens to be quite sensitive, has verbatim repeated a comment a teacher made and now needs to check if this was completely out of order and needs to be cross at the teacher, because said child is so very upset.

I'd be teaching my child resilience in this instance - "your water bottle isnt great no but its the best we could do so ignore the comment" and move on with your day. Done. Or perhaps even giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't said like that. And moving on with my day.

I think he was insensitive. I would use this an an opportunity to talk to your daughter about two things
a) why reusable ones are best and hence why we try to use those most of the time. But sometimes there will be exceptions and that's okay too. We recycle to minimise our impact.
b) sometimes when people make a valid point/snap judgement they don't have all the facts behind something. But I'm sure the head wants to encourage reusable bottles in general and that is still a good thing. He could have given a little more grace, but it's worth your daughter realising neither she nor the head is 'bad'. This is just one of the little moments of friction that life comes with.

I'd tell him it's not his place to comment on a specific childs water bottle infront of the whole class and make your child feel guilty and to possibly encourage other children to also make her feel guilty and that if he has a problem with what you buy her he can take it up with you directly in future instead of picking on a little girl.

What's tampongate2?
Nothing is coming up when I Google it.

(Obviously I know about the original Tampongate2)

(Completely agree with you about the HT being unreasonable)

Thirty four years of teaching and I can admit to having coming across a couple of teachers who weren't particularly suited to the job. I could count them on one hand though.

However, the number of problematic parents I've encountered over the years would take me hours to count.

Seriously, we've reached a point where grown adults (who did not even witness this scene) are all up in arms about the head " humiliating" a pupil because he picked up her plastic water bottle and pointed out how they are terrible for the environment.

This. You need to work on her resilience and perfectionist tendancies. Modelling situations where things aren’t quite right etc.

This really upsets me, this was an important message for kids but the headteacher made it a subject of shame and embarrassment, and punitive that is NOT the way to educate the next generation on vital environmental awareness, also children are powerless, does the HT really think your child has much choice in what she gets sent to school with, like she demanded and chose single use plastic. It's the same as kids getting a row for lateness or uniform issues, it's largely down to the adults in their lives yet the kids get left with the embarrassment, punishment and shame. As a school counsellor I am sick of children being the buffer and scapegoat between adults issues, we need a lot more empathy including towards parents who are sometimes just trying to get through the week as best they can. Things like this can stay with kids.

Perhaps you need to follow the same advice and move on with your day? You seem pretty outraged by this post. Enough to reply multiple times.

Perhaps you need to work on your resilience? Or just be less sensitive?

Are reusable ones best though?

What do you do with yours at the end of their life?
. . . bearing in mind they are non-recyclable?

It's not a very nice thing to do, is it? One of my teachers in primary school humiliated me in front of the whole class in a similar way - basically said I was lying about something that happenend outside of school (I don't even remember now what it was). My mum had a word with the teacher, told her my story was true and that I was upset at being called a liar. Teacher was very understanding and said she would take me aside and apologise. My mum told her she could apologise to me the same way she humiliated me, in front of everyone 😂

Fair play, she did!

It was a silly comment but definitely one worth an eye roll and no more said rather than a post and further action.

Your daughter needed a bottle of water on such a hot day.

I think this headmaster needs a gentle reminder that sometimes children take words/actions very badly and it can affect them for a long time.

My school friend died of bulimia and it all stemmed from a new headmaster demanding that all food be eaten at dinner time and she stuffed food she didn’t like in her mouth than spat it out in the loo and it became a habit.

I made the term up, sorry.

But basically, Prince William was asked about period stigma, and answered saying that he doesn't know much about it and would leave it to his wife, and referenced his daughter, Charlotte.

People had strong opinions on a) the fact that he admitted to being completely ignorant and was intending to leave it all to his wife and
b) Brought up Charlotte, regarding a personal matter and without her consent.

It was a bit of a storm in a teacup, tbh

I feel like a HT should be aware that 8 year olds don’t buy their own water bottles.

Ok!

Yes, put it into another context and it would be like the Head picking on an 8yo for having a poor World Book Day costume.

Surely your child knows she normally uses a different bottle, so can bat off the teachers comments. Your daughter probably agrees with her, but you will no doubt have explained to your daughter why you bought it. So that’s that.

Just really needs brushing off.