My friend boyfriend beat her up

[Peaceofmind12]

My friend’s boyfriend of 2 month has beaten her up. She has a black eye and told me that he punched, kicked her and pulled her hair because of messages he found in her phone talking to a guy before they was together. He justified his behaviour because when they got together she told him the guy she was talking to before him was just a friend. Because she had lied he beat her up in her parents house while her toddler daughter and children siblings where in the house.

im worried about her. Hes moved into her house paying no rent, he expects her to cook and clean for him, he’s brought her new clothing that covers her and he doesn’t like her going out and checks all her messages. She has a two year old aswell and I’m worried for both of them. I’m concerned what he will do next as they are trying for a baby.

I find it so hard to sit by and watch this. She’s had a tough few years and besides this story this is not the only trauma her and her child have gone through. I can sit and be a good friend and just listen but when do I become an enabler to her child’s harm if I sit and do nothing.

Has anyone got any advice?

Has he been arrested, and does his employer know? The quickest route to getting rid of him is for his employer to dismiss him because of his behaviour, he then loses his right to reside here. So police, and once they are on the case hopefully he will leave, even if it's to go underground.

Report what’s happened to social services and the police. If not for your friend but for her children

I’m glad you have. She will probably deny everything though.

Has she been in touch with you today?

@ExplodingSmittens I spoke to her to convince her to step forward and seek help herself. I asked is risking your child’s safety to take him back worth it. She confirmed she’s certain he won’t do it again and all is ok and that I shouldn’t worry anymore. Which if she thinks I will do after she sent me numerous cryptic messages to get me to contact her and snuck a FaceTime in fear to tell me what he’s done she is mistaken.

ive reported to social services and I am taking a step back as I can’t watch this happen or wait for the phone call of something even worse happening when he decides to do it again.

I would call the cops and tell them what he did.

I can totally understand. It must be like standing by and waiting for a car crash to happen, and it will happen.

You’ve reported what she’s said to SS and that’s good. Hopefully now her SW will be aware of the danger this man poses.

Is there a discreet way that you can let her know that you’re there for her, should she ever need you?

According to the other thread you've made on this today you have other concerns though about her parenting/possible neglect prior to this, is that right? So this man isn't really the only issue?

Well done op

You have done the right thing - this will be investigated

Have you got a link please @Summervibes83?

@ExplodingSmittens , Page 2 | I called social services on my friend. I don’t know how long I can keep in contact with her | Mumsnet

Thank you. So violence isn’t the only issue. I really feel for the poor child.

You're welcome, @Peaceofmind12 . I posted a link from that thread to this one - I should have posted a link from here then.

@DeeNiall yh your right. I’ve been hoping she will make a change I’ve been in denial saying she wasn’t like this before she’s going through something. But this recent situation is the last straw. I can’t excuse her anymore

Moving a bum into your place whilst you have a child, and expecting him to not do bum behaviour. He is a disgusting loser with nothing and prayer on her being vulnerable with a child. Please explain this to her!

Send her stories or TikTok relationships advice he is a loser with nothing and will drain her pockets