Friend has gotten really funny due to my weekend away with man

[Laurenn25]

I’ve been single for three years, single Mum to primary age DC who I’ve put first during that time. Only recently did I start looking to date again, I’ve met someone who I get along really well with and we’ve arranged a weekend away for mid-July.

My best friend had been on for a while about the two of us going away for a weekend, but for various reasons I didn’t outright commit to this. I told her it would depend on a few factors including finances.

I’ve told her about my planned weekend with the man I’m seeing and she got really funny and asked is that why I can’t go away with her. I said it wasn’t as simple as that. She said we’ve been friends for years and as soon as I’ve got a ‘sniff of cock’ I’ve dropped her. I haven’t dropped her at all.

It’s true I probably could have gone away with her, but I didn’t commit to it and can’t afford two trips now. She has made me feel a bit crap.

You sound worse and worse.

‘Intimate love’ good grief 🤢.

We go for a week!

Missing a comma, sorry.
Intimate, love, or other relationships.
Translation: a sex holiday, a romantic getaway, or time settling in with a newish partner or time alone with an established partner.
OP's friend cannot meet all OP's needs in these respects.
I am going on a couple of friends holidays this year, but definitely prioritise family.

I'm quite surprised by the responses here. Going away with your (In this case new) fella is not like going away with a friend at all. I've got some lovely friends who I love to bits and i do go away with, but they can grate after a day or 2 in constant company. It's just not the same thing.

You are entitled to go away with who you want when you want OP!

Any good friend would say 'good for you, hope it goes well'. Sounds like she's jealous that you have someone else in your life who wants to spend quality time with you.
You don't owe anyone any more of your time than you're prepared to give. I can't imagine what your friend will think/say if you're relationship really takes off and you see her less.

You’re missing the point OP. Her snoring is minor. You might be there if this new beau doesn’t work out, but feeling unappreciated, unimpressed by your actions, point is - she might not. Sorry. Usually Team OP but this is not clear cut. You do seem to have been all in with a virtual stranger vs your so called best friend. If so, don’t blame her saying in not so many words WTAF.

I agree.
I can see why a weekend away with new bf seems more necessary as romance is needed.
but she must feel awful.
don’t forget your friends as you need them if the relationship goes tits up and she may have replaced you .
you have some making up to do- plan some fun nice quality time with her.

She led her friend down the garden path saying they’d do a trip together though. And her friend is right, she is prioritizing the new man due to his genitals

If this is real then I’m 100% on your friends side.

You could have said no to the trip with her but you agreed but never made plans due to ‘finances’

Then a man gives you a bit of attention and you act desperate and choose him over your long term friend.

People like you give me the ick and I wouldn’t be surprised if this friend ditches you.

Let’s hope your relationship lasts.

Only if she was a massive mug - which hopefully most people aren’t.

You might be ok with being treated like crap but most people would have an issue with this.

Raise your bar.

BS. Best friends and good friends tell you the truth. They also want best for you but not always at extent of you treating them as 2nd class citizens. Hope the new relationship is amazing OP as sounds like you’re about to lose someone who was and would’ve been always in your corner. Maybe that’s why she highlighted in vulgar terms your apparent priorities.

You should have been more honest when she suggested it

While I totally agree you should be able to prioritise whoever you would prefer to go away with, you're speaking really nastily about your friend in your updates. You're not a great friend to say such hurtful/rude things about her weight, sleeping and bathroom habits, and you should have been honest about not fancying a trip with her rather than being vague and up in the air, potentially preventing her from finding someone else less bitchy & two faced to go away with.

You are getting a hard time op. Perfectly reasonable to want to spend time with your new man and if she doesn't get that she maybe needs to remember what the honeymoon phase is like. Tell her you still want to go away with her and this isn't stopping that but you have been single a long time and fancy a dirty weekend which is completely different to a girls weekend with her.

I sure hope the friend doesn't have mumsnet

Oh man, go away and enjoy yourself!!! She should understand, is she single?

My pal does this.

I stopped being the support mechanism and the place where she runs to when the man goes away.

Be cautious of your choices

Me too, twice a year!

The friend was not satisfied with what the OP could afford, and wanted a more expensive trip. It sounds like they talked through options, but did not agree. They still see each other every week.

OP has written unkindly about her friend's physique. That's a separate issue.

ETA there is nothing wrong with pursuing sex and friends should not cockblock.

I agree

Tell her he’s paying for it. I’d be the same as you OP. She sounds petty.

Family yes, I agree with you there. A man, absolutely not coming before my closest friends.

I am 90s vintage and thought the voting was skewed by 21st century MRA.