Performative drivel from grown adults

[Karryw]

A few of my friends with fathers who are very much alive and well, but not on instagram - posting stories wishing them a HFD! Pick up the bloody phone and tell them for goodness sake.

Performative nonsense, or is it me?

To be honest thats what I think too.

I cannot even imagine having a go at someone for posting about their dead relative and calling it performative. I think thats entirely nasty and mean spirited and frankly, it says a lot about you as a person if you think this. None of it good.

This isnt reflecting on you at all well. You are coming across as very nasty. If you dont like someone's SM posts then mute them, it's not difficult.

There is a big difference between posting ABOUT a dead person and posting TO them. The first makes sense, the second doesn’t.

Why does it matter?
People do what helps them. It is nothing to do with you.

A dead person? Nice.

To you.
Some people have different beliefs.

It's very rude not to accept the right of others to behave in line with their own beliefs.

I have REPEATEDLY said that if it gives people comfort, they are free to do it. Just as I am free to have my own opinions about the practice. Remember, I was NOT the person who started the thread, but I STILL agree with them. I also disagree with the poster who hates any kind of garnish on her food. I put Tabasco in almost everything, including orange juice. I’m certain some people would find that strange, but I wouldn’t feel personally attacked.

Pay attention. I have said several times I respect their right to do it. Doesn’t mean I have to embrace it.

You said you think people who do it are "weird", and said they should "use a Ouija board if they want to wish a dead loved one a happy birthday because "Seriously? Like…they have Instagram accounts?"

You then made the comment "Dead people are voracious readers. They like the crossword too, I hear."

You can find it odd for people to address loved ones, but the sneering and implying people genuinely do think that their dead relative can see Instagram, is crossing the line. As is calling the people who post in such a way doing it "for a bid for attention".

“Implying”? One person INSISTED that the dead read newspapers and social media. And I said that I find the ACTION weird, not the people themselves. I’m allowed to find certain behaviors weird without declaring individuals weird. You’re completely deaf to nuance. The dead being voracious readers was a sarcastic response to the poster who assured me dead people read. I tell you what, if you die first, I’ll write to you every week it will make you happy. Be sure to write back!

Nasty and uncalled for.

Yes, and we are free to think you are a nasty, unkind twat. See how opinions work both ways? amazing isnt it....

I am not sure why you are defending your right to agree with the OP so strongly and yet are getting so defensive when people are forming their own judgements of you as a person. 🤣

What? You don’t think you’ll be posthumously following Facebook? Gracious, why not? Apparently, multiple generations of dead folk are agog to access new posts! TOTALLY called for. But I’m tired of this. We will not change each other’s minds. Goodbye.

Whatever.

Never mind. You gave it a good go eh? at least you admit when you're wrong

😂

Nope. I am not wrong. I am not wrong and neither is the original poster.

Ah so sorry- "whatever" is such an intelligent and articulate response, it totally fooled me into thinking you actually had an argument.....🤣

I have been very articulate. Have grown weary of people who don’t pay attention, who ignore my whole post and pull things out of context so they can feel victimized, and just want to take the piss. Enjoy the Carnival of Self righteousness and Offense Taking. I’m throwing away my ticket.

The Carnival of Self Righteousness sounds fun. Shame you've spent all day manning the ticket booth eh?

Not me darling. Some other hypersensitive clowns.

You seem very comfortable judging other people, but remarkably uncomfortable being judged yourself.

Why do you think that is?

Nope. That must be your projection talking. Let it go, Elsa.

So why cant you let it go that grieving people might post about their loved ones who have died? arent you also being Elsa? they arent affecting you in any way

Yep, I posted that I lost my dad this year.
I posted to him on FB... and I also text him this Father's Day. The PP finding that weird is fine. The sneering after was pretty shocking and uncalled for. And as for "hypersensitive clowns".... vile.

Several people have posted on saying how addressing their loved ones is a comfort to them. They are not doing anything wrong or unusual.

SIGH. Again, you’re not paying attention. I said it was fine for them, but I’m not a fan. Don’t you have some other thread to haunt? Why don’t you start one of your own?

Exactly. Nobody has to understand it or want to do it themselves, but mocking people who find comfort in remembering a loved one that way seems unnecessarily unkind.

There's a big difference between saying "I don't get it" and sneering at people who are grieving. The latter makes you look like a twat, and people are perfectly entitled to form an opinion of that too.

As I've said all along, everyone is free to have their own opinions. What some people seem to struggle with is that everyone else is equally free to have opinions about those opinions.