Would rehoming my cat be reasonable over ongoing litter tray issues?

[Greyta]

I’m really torn and could use some outside perspective. I’ve had my cat for 10 years since a kitten, and I do love her. But over the last five years she’s developed ongoing issues with repeated urinating and pooing outside the litter tray since we had our son and moved house. No issues before. We’ve tried the vet who confirms it’s behavioural, tried medication, feliway optimum, some things help for a few weeks, but then it happens again. My husband has had enough and I get it, the smell, the cost has been crippling replacing our furniture. I’m fed up cleaning up wee and sometimes poo.

I’m struggling. We’ve got a young son, money is so tight right now and the ongoing vet bills, cleaning, and stress are becoming really hard to manage. She has to be shut out our bedrooms now, and we have to cover the sofa when we go out, which is terrible as she used to sleep in the bed with us, but now it’s an impulsion to wee on it as soon as she gets a chance so we can’t chance it anymore. We live in a flat so she’s always been indoor.

I feel awful even typing this, but I’m worried I could have another 10 years of this and I genuinely don’t know if we can cope financially or emotionally.

At the same time, I adore her and the idea of rehoming her makes me feel ill. I don’t want to be cruel. I wish she didn’t do this. If we do rehome would only consider a quiet, experienced home where she’d get the calm environment she seems to need.

Would it be unreasonable to think about rehoming in this situation, is it sometimes the kinder option for everyone involved, including our cat?

If you’re not willing to tolerate and understand an older animal, it’s kinder to rehome them yes.

She’s been doing it for 5 years since our child was born, it’s not an age issue?

Or maybe it is I don’t even know anymore

Poor cat 😭 yabvvvu & i wish she had a proper family who didn't consider getting rid of her due to growing older & the issues that come with that.

Yes it’s the best thing to do. ETA if you have tried all the basics, multiple litter trays, pet urine cleaner to remove smell, behavioural therapy then best to rehome as a rescue cat then be unhappy. She does not like your don and new home but 5 years is long enough to know if she is able to change. It is horrible for you and especially your young son.

That’s not kind or helpful, it sounds like OP has really tried to investigate this.

i don’t know the answer OP, I myself have three cats and I’ve always had cats so I’m a pretty
committed cat parent.

however you do need to be realistic about how likely it is you can actually rehome your cat, do you have any options open to you?

She sounds stressed.
I don’t know what you want to hear OP, but my cats are my family. I could never rehome them.

Did you change the style of litter tray to a higher sided one? Have you tried putting the tray elsewhere? Tried different litter (manufacturers keep changing the ingredients)? Has she been assessed for hip pain or arthritis?

Two questions;

1. Has she been checked by the vet for urinary issues, such as chronic cystitis or bladder stones that could be causing pain when she uses the tray or back pain that means it hurts her to climb in and out of it? She could also have stomach upsets due to gluten in her cat food.
2. Do you clean with bleach? The smell confuses cats and some respond by inappropriate toileting (and others go soppy or turn into little bitey dickheads).

But who would want to rehome a cat with this behaviour?

Ten isn’t old for a cat.

Quite.

If you've had her for 10 years and love her and you can't tolerate her crapping everywhere, how do you expect a new owner in a new house where she's even more stressed to cope?

It's revolting, I understand. One of ours was like that for the last 6 years of his life and we tried all the felliway/ behavioural stuff too.

It wasn’t intended as such but OP has obviously reached a point of not wanting the cat anymore. Therefore the cat needs someone who is willing to love and care for it no matter what.

Did anything work? What did you do?

She has hip pain and she’s getting early hip arthritis poor thing, so we have lower entry litter tray

What medication is she on to relieve her pain?

This is the thing, we are at our wits end. I’m finding the thought of rehoming really hard and I don’t want to but wondering if maybe she’s not happy with us anymore and would it be best.

this isn’t an easy decision, I’m heartbroken at the thought, I’m not even sure if I can but my husband has had enough. She’s even urinated with us in the bed when we’ve given her a chance to come back in bedroom, woken up to piss next to us.

I would as would many others. I’ve had cats & dogs as old as 17, they may often urinate or empty their bowels in inconvenient places as they get older just as elderly people do whether though illness or mental decline.
They need love, care and support, not getting rid of when it becomes annoying.

I honestly understand where you’re coming from, it sounds very difficult. Realistically no one is going to want a cat who behaves in this way, so she’s either going to spend her days in a cat shelter or be euthanised.

We put up with it because nothing worked. Didn't have many options, so he was confined to one room in the house plus outside.

Looks like you've found an adopter already OP! Congrats!
Unless this poster is just seeking a medal in the post... 🤔

Is she on pain relief for her hips?
does the vet think it’s stress related due to your young child?
Does she have space she can go to be away from him?
Have you tried Nutracalm?
There is another medication I think it’s Fluoxetine - which you can get from the vets (Prozac) which might help if it is stress related. But they’d probably want to rule out another cause by doing a bladder / abdominal ultrasound. Not 100% sure on that though.

It sound so stressful for you all, and I hope you can find a solution before rehoming her.

Do you think you could let her go out? My cats come and go.

My previous cat used to pee on the carpet outside her litter tray. Even a low sided tray she wouldn’t use. She was very unsteady on her legs, and I guess trying to keep her balance on the cat litter moving under her feet, or the slippy smooth plastic tray and crouch to pee at the same time was understandably not possible for her. In the end we got a small dog crate, lined with puppy pads and old towels over the top. Was a lot of washing, but it did work well for her for a couple of years.

Rehome your cat where?

You don't want a 10 year old cat who pisses everywhere, who on earth do you imagine does???

animal chiro is worth a try
vet put our cat on painkillers and that helped