AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

[whyohwhyisitalwayswet]

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

Sorry but on a previous thread you have literally described him as a tightwad and literally started an entire thread yourself about how right he is with money!!

so I am surprised you’re surprised about this!!

Ha ha, no, he just doesn't think this is a big deal. And, no different from the other clothes of his father's.

He probably (most likely) didn't die in them!

I don't actually find it that weird

But then, I've borrowed knickers from my mum (CLEAN knickers!) when I stayed over and forgot mine so I'm probably weird too judging by this thread.

If he's happy with the underwear, let him crack on

I don’t quite understand the level of revulsion of some posters - it’s clean, presumably it fits him and he’s happy with it. I assume the disgusted posters never sleep on hotel sheets…

I’d actually find my husband wearing his father’s outer clothes harder - I’ve got absolutely no idea what pants my father in law wears and I probably wouldn’t even notice DH was wearing them but I’d find it weird to see DH wear particular distinctive shirts I associate with FIL.

I’d feel weird about it if I’m being honest, but really, he is right; they’re clean and it’s just another bit of fabric like the other clothes.

Well, he was between jobs at the time, and it manifested in that way. We had a very good discussion about it, and he's back working now, and things changed very much for the better on that front.

I want to say you’re unreasonable but…dead dad’s pants? That is fucking weird 🤣

I wear some of my late father's clothes if they are suitable. Unfortunately I have a 32" waist and he was (optimistically) about 44" so underwear is out of the question.

Matters are also complicated by his preference for women's underwear which, as a normal man (albeit a dedicated Y-fronts wearer) wouldn't have worked for me anyway even if they did fit.

They went to my friend's Russian wife instead, who does wear them.

Nope don’t understand the objection at all.

I wouldn't like it but I realise I'm not being logical. When DD was a young a friend of mine would pass on her children's outgrown clothes to me which was really useful. I never gave DD the pants though - I was happy for her to wear the clothes but not the pants for some reason. Which is odd because when potty training if she'd had an "off" day & I hadn't packed enough spare pants she'd occasionally come home in nursery spares & I didn't mind that (I'd wash & return them obviously) so I don't even make sense to myself!

You have only just realised after several years so I think YABU. It’s better for the environment…

His body, his choice, why do you care?

Omg, I have the exact same scenario! Father in law (now deceased) was admitted into hospital, so we brought the clothes he was admitted in home to wash. His underwear (which was very similar to DH's) ended up in DH's drawer, so he just kept them as he didn't realise for ages and then couldn't be bothered to give them back.

I find it a bit odd, but also not the worst thing in the world.

To the PP who said they would also object to second hand sheets, do you not sleep in hotels and use hotel towels? I'll bet they've had worse on them before being washed!

I don't see the issue really. When my dad died I took all his towels and bedding to use myself as they were nice and I needed more. I also took some shoes that fit me, and let my late OH take any of his clothes that fit.

I'd rather stuff got re-used rather than thrown in a landfill.

I also remember borrowing my mothers knickers as a teenager if I couldn't find a clean pair of my own.

On the Y front ?

Seriously. I think it’s weird af, who would wear someone else’s pants, living or dead?

Do you live with him?

if he does say “I will wear whatever the heck I want”…. Is it a deal breaker for you?!

I can see why people might not like the idea, but I also see why others wouldn't care. Presuming that he sometimes does need to buy pants for himself, it seems mad to be throwing a pile of clean, perfectly good pants in a rag bag for the charity shop and then toddling off to the shop to buy a new pile of identical ones.

It may (or may not) also be one of those (stereotypical) differences between men and women, as men generally seem to see pants as purely functional items and frequently don't care what they look like, as long as they're clean and comfy. Their team's football shirts, by contrast...!

Charity shops won't accept used/second hand underwear either, I presume for hygiene reasons.

It's someone else's underwear 🩳

Love it 😂

I think the reason is hygiene, but also, unless you're a tramp, noone would buy them.

As a species, we are hard in the planet. Much better that things don't end up in landfill that still have a use. I can comfortably hold this position though safe in the knowledge that none of my family's things would fit me.

Because it's creepy and weird that he is cosseting his own meat and two veg where his dead dad used to keep his.

Would you wear your dead mum's used knickers?

I always assumed that it was more having no customers who would ever want to buy second-hand strangers' pants, when they're not that expensive for basic new ones from the supermarket. That's different from if they previously belonged to a family member, though. Do people never hand pants down to their younger children from older siblings?

By the way, charity shops will take old pants, but they'll just send them off as rags, along with the other clothes that are optimistically donated but which are unsellable. They don't make a lot from them, but it's still an extra few quid in for them when they have enough. Even if you have things like socks with big holes in them, industry still pay a small amount for raggy textiles for cleaning up oil and the like. Always help them by labelling a bag as 'Rags', though, so nobody has to waste their time sorting through them before realising they aren't sellable garments.