AIBU to object to my partner wearing his late father's underwear?

[whyohwhyisitalwayswet]

As the title says, am I being unreasonable to object to my partner wearing his (late) father's underwear?

His father died a few years ago, and his mother gave him lots of quite nice clothes of his father's to have. I recently discovered that he'd also inherited his father's underwear which he is now wearing! He claims it has been washed countless times and is in good condition, so he doesn't get why I would object. But, I do....! Would you??

Would have bothered me when I was younger. Now I'm more in the menopausal age bracket, wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

I thought as much. I think the fact that the FIL is dead is a red herring really. There are people who’d be ok with wearing someone else’s pants and people who wouldn’t. I don’t think it makes any difference if the someone else is dead. I don’t imagine there is anyone who’d wear someone else’s pants but only if they’re still alive 😂

Is it the fact it’s his dads dead pants or any second hand pants

yet happily wear say clothes from eBay or Vinted or charity shops

I’ve sold bras on Vinted from losing weight

obviously I’m not dead

I personally don’t do secondhand anything, but there’s something about the thought of my DH wearing ‘pre-loved’ underwear that makes me feel itchy all over.

It’s a no from me!

I understand why instinctively you find it weird.

But it's no more weird than wearing his dad's other clothes, or clothes from charity shops, after they've been washed.

We're conditioned to find it icky, but that conditioning is itself irrational.

If your partner is happy with it, its fine

Doesn't bother me but then again I've borrowed my sister's or mums underwear many times at unexpectedly staying overs

That made me shiver reading that

I mean let’s say I had a freak accident and fell in a lake and the only option was to wear someone else’s knickers to get home or go home with no knickers on then I’m probably going to opt for the used knickers, because even if that scenario if I’ve got some dry trousers to go home in I still want at least two layers of fabric between my lady bits and the rest of the world, but as a choice would I actively choose to wear used underwear, no matter how clean, no. Absolutely not!

I simply do not believe any guy would ever do this. Must be a wind up.

I wouldn’t be able to get over the fact that his dads balls had been in them and it would give me the ick 😂

Oh no no no. Absolutely not.

See I would borrow pants off, say, my daughter or a VERY close friend, if I desperately needed pants and had no other options. But in your scenario I reckon I’d just go commando in trousers for a short journey.

(I did get distracted by your use of ‘used knickers’, but I’m assuming you mean second hand rather than worn and unwashed 😂)

I love second hand clothes but would draw the line at pants, swimwear and tights (but wouldn’t judge others for wearing them). But I do wear my late Mum’s socks. Not because they are particularly great socks, or because I can’t afford my own socks- but because they make me feel close to my Mum. Someone upthread said they thought it was odd to wear anything that belonged to someone who is now dead, but I don’t agree at all. I mean grief is odd anyway, it can make people do or say things that others can’t quite wrap their heads around. Grief moves in mysterious ways. For me, I love having photos and videos of my late parents to remember them by, but what keeps them ‘alive’ for me is being able to use and wear things that belonged to them, hence wearing my mum’s socks and my dad’s hoodie. I didn’t keep any of their pants though 😂

Have you ever heard of washing machines?!

Do nurseries and primary schools still have a spare pants cupboard, like they used to when I was there... in case of 'accidents'?

If they do, I can only imagine the burning fury and utter disgust of any parents of said children who are loaned them who happen to be on MN, who would no doubt be writing to OFSTED, their MP and King Charles to complain about it!!

Weird attitude, by op that is. . I wear my dead ex husbands clothes..admittedly not his pants because y front and not my style..but in principle, it would not bother me. If they’re laundered, they’re just clothes, I divorced him 30 years ago, but slippers , joggers, t shirts, jumpers., cardigans .I’m not chucking them out..they’re almost new. Once washed, ? If you didn’t know, you would never know .

Yeh… emergency pants for little kids in the case of accidents is the same as your dead FIL’s pants on your husband.

I don’t know about the rest of Mumsnet but I enjoy pulling my husband’s boxers down and sucking his cock… so, ya know… I quite like his pants to only have been worn by him.

It’s clearly not about the pants being clean. No one thinks the pants still smell of sweaty FIL bollocks.

This is the sort of thing my DH would do.

He inherited all his late grandfather’s clothes (not underwear though) and he even tried to make me wear his late grandmother’s stuff!

We once came back from a wedding reception on a beach and I found a pair of boxers on our washing line which weren’t his. He’d TAKEN them from the beach when they’d all gone swimming!

He’s also appeared home from work wearing a jumper he found in a car park and he gifted me a pair of walking boots he found in another park 😂😂

Yes I am still married to him but don’t really know why 😬

I do hope you mean just previously used and not “unwashed”.

Still, it would be no underwear for me in that scenario. Would never wear underwear someone else had worn.

Not at all. He can wear what he likes. We just had different reactions to this particular piece of clothing (given their provenance) so was curious what the MN consensus was on it....

I jsut want to point out there was a huge thread criticising a man for using that word

After my mum passed there were a few situations where i wasn't sure if a bra that ended up in the wash was mine, or hers that my dad had fished from their drawers. We both had so many and were the same size. I wore them.

Knickers no i wouldn't, because there's potentially been someone else's fecal bacteria on them. Or discharge. Yes, they would have been washed, but its just, intimate area bodily fluids. And getting them completely sanitised, I just wouldn't take the risk from a potential UTI standpoint, as i'm already prone.
Not keen on the possibility my dad had taken them off my mum in a romantic/sexual situation either.

I wear my dead dad's wellies (he had small feet bless him) and my DH used his favourite gardening tools and cares for them, and we think about him when we use them. But my mum gave my DH a load of my DD (dead dad)'s shirts - thankfully not pants - and I forbade him to wear them. Similarly he tried on a cologne that smelled like my DD and it was a big no. I love and miss my dad and think of him lots, but I don't want to think of him when looking at my DH and I certainly don't want to think of him (or his pants) when my DH is getting undressed!

I’d get the ick..