To expect the adults to eat with us

[princesspadam]

Happy to be told AIBU but this is driving me & DP crazy.

my DS (21) has a girlfriend and has now stopped eating with us as a family most of the time

either me or DP will cook every nite so there’s always a meal for both of them if they wanted it (they don’t)

him and his girlfriend sit upstairs and wait for dinner to be over, kitchen tidy, everything away, then come down and cook for themselves

this pisses DP off as we have an open plan living area and after dinner he will chill & watch tv but they’re cooking & talking & generally making mess / noise

AIBU to ask them to eat with us? Or eat out?

I don’t get why parents let their kids walk all over them. So you sit there like two mugs putting up with it?

Finally, we agree. Yes they are.

I don’t get why parents seem to consider their children lesser beings. We are talking about grown adults cooking their own meals, thats not walking g all over anyone. It’s normal. I think if having adult children who want to crack on and develop their independence isn’t what people want they should have thought long and hard before having g any children. At what point during their childhood does the love people feel for the newborn turn into such disdain? I would understand if the 21 year old was being problematic as many can be, but cooking? Come on now.

Pointless replying to this poster. She is clueless. I hope she doesn’t have adult children in this same or similar situation or she will end up having them go non-contact.

It’s funny how much she cares when OP doesn’t 😂 is she the DP?

@Boreded

that poster is correct though…the Girlfriend is a guest, it’s not her home.

Have you read her other comments?

Oh I'm done believe me. I just can't get my head around someone calling kids disrespectful for using the kitchen to cook their own meals, or the best one, saying they should be made to eat their meals in their bedrooms or eat out of the house rather than be able to use the dining room.

How is buying and cooking their own meals “walking all over the parents”?

This is so batshit.

I bet you're the life and soul of a party. 😂

@windowslippers

why do you bother?! Just stay home, sounds like you’d be happier

That you bought an open plan living place isn’t your son’s fault. A young couple who cook for themselves and presumably clean up afterwards, and you are complaining about it? Let it go.

Batshit? OP is complaining. Says it’s driving her crazy. Says her DP gets pissed off. They are putting up with crap in their own home that they don’t like. Sounds like the adult kids are running the show. They probably don’t even know how annoying they are.

Well you certainly would know. 😀

I'll probably try it sometime. Well maybe not.

‘Running the show’ and it’s spending one hour in a shared space a few times a week* to eat food and wash up. Partner can turn the tv off for a hour or go upstairs on those odd days if it bothers him so much that he gets angry.

*we know it’s less than 4 days as that’s the maximum the girlfriend stays over and they normally get takeaways

Yeah, in my opinion I think it’s absolutely batshit to be “driven crazy” or “annoyed” by adults cooking food in a kitchen.

What “crap” are they putting up with, out of interest?

@Hildegard25

enjoy! ☺️