Utterly sickened by rugby tour/stag DP attended

[Stagupset]

I have name changed for this. DP plays rugby and they have an annual weekender/end of season tour somewhere each season, usually always in the UK. One of the players is getting married so they did a combined tour/stag this year abroad.

I am friendly with a couple of other partners and so have been made aware of some of the details.

They hired someone to be handcuffed to the stag, purely based on his small size. I find this really offensive.

There was really really weird games/dares involving urine that I won’t repeat on here.

Two players, DP included, lost a bet and had to streak in public wearing only a pair of underwear each which was ‘borrowed’ from a hen party out there.

At least two players cheated on their wives.

DP has verified all of the above and said it’s standard fare when rugby players go away together (added that he was unaware of the cheating and wouldn’t approve). I can’t say I was ever aware of this rugby ‘notoriety’ before I met him.

I have told him I disapprove and he thinks I am over reacting and should accept it’s par for the course. Am I over reacting?

No that’s exactly what they say. Here anyway:

’Rugby is game played by thugs, watched by gentlemen and Football is game played by gentlemen and watched by thugs’

Thats the saying I always heard growing up.

You can not be blind to this element of rugby culture.

Take a look at the stories I posted about... these were players from high level clubs and high level teams.. many people stood alongside and defended these 'good boys' and 'good men'.

We shall be known by the company we keep...

No. The old saying is the exact other way around. "Football is a sport for gentlemen played by hooligans. Rugby is a game for hooligans played by gentlemen.". Nobody knows who actually first said it.

It’s rugby is a game for hooligans played by gentleman and football is a game for gentlemen played by hooligans.

Of course there are predators in every walk of life but I never felt safer than when I was with the rugby lads all those years ago. They were very protective (although I saw more nakedness than I ever thought possible - and was often groped unexpectedly 🤣)

You wot?

You felt safe and protected by the unexpected gropers?

@Anarchy99 you think groping is okay? Do you have DC, are you bringing them up to think groping is okay?

Really OP?

So your H and his pals were standing about stark naked and a group of random women took their knickers off in front of them?

He and his pals obviously don't have any boundaries. Or respect for their wives and partners do they? And If he is pretending not to know about the cheating I would assume he is mot admitting to the extent of his own behaviour.

Is he embarrassed or apologetic or does he think he is entitled to behave like this behind your back? Out of sight out of mind.

yeah I mean it’s not my bag. But no one is forcing him to do it. It’s not like they go around capturing small people and forcing them into this. He’s made a choice. If he wants to be chained to drunk people rather than work in an office that’s his look out.

This was 35 years ago. If I had not wanted it, I would have said and they would respect that.

Yep - it was a long time ago and it was totally consensual, not sure what the issue is. It was the culture of the place and time and I won’t ever regret it as it was fun.

I agree, the behaviour of men in groups can sometimes be awful and so contagious, as has recently been so well depicted in russel t davies latest tv drama 'tip toe'. Worth a watch.

How can any woman accept and tolerate this behaviour as “ boys will be boys”? It’s immature, vile behaviour by filthy scum! If your husband goes on these lads and stag dos and says he wouldn’t take part, would you believe him? I wouldn’t! They are not going to observe disapprovingly, they will be pressured to join in. They may bring back some nasty souvenirs too, as drunken men aren’t going to be worrying about condoms!

“filthy scum”?
What happened to condemn the behaviour not the person.

I also grew up with this and frankly it was fun and better than the obnoxious behaviour of pissed up football players.

If a person does scummy things they are scummy person.

Hardly a well johns a lovely person but on a weekend he drinks piss, wears used dirty random ladies panties and handcuffs people
for bants while causing all shorts of chaos in Spain haha what a lad love him 😂

Your behaviour defines you as a person.

Depends on consent… Just because you don’t want your partner doing it, it doesn’t make it scummy.

The way people jumped on my use of the word ‘groped’ in my previous comment post made me laugh. Nowhere did I suggest I was being assaulted but people assumed. It’s possible for someone to have a laugh without it being abusive.

I’ve told him I expect him to get a full STI check up and he basically laughed in my face saying he wouldn’t have caught anything from wearing ‘some slappers tiny thong’ for 2 minutes. He won’t be going near me until he does it.

do you know what unexpected means?

'Some slappers thong?' He wouldn't be going near me ever!

Not being thick as pigshit, I certainly do.

You know that it can relate to something happening that you don’t expect or when you don’t expect it (ie having a conversation with someone and finding someone else’s hand snaking round you from behind.

Well his words show you how he is and that is the problem it’s just some slappers undies well I’m sure there are a few things that could be spread from discharge as well as I could be wrong but herpes.

Shes a slapper for giving him her undies so what does that make him for wearing them? A Cuck? 😂😂 A slappers pantie stealer? A walking std trash can?

An embarrassment 👏

Your future doesn't look bright with this man.

Using the term slapper tells everyone and your goodself op his attitude towards women.

Warts and all

Why are women attracted to Rugby players?

Are they? Might be because of their masculine strength, height and build, money, fame etc but the rest of it, broken noses, cauliflower ears, lads culture etc no