Utterly sickened by rugby tour/stag DP attended

[Stagupset]

I have name changed for this. DP plays rugby and they have an annual weekender/end of season tour somewhere each season, usually always in the UK. One of the players is getting married so they did a combined tour/stag this year abroad.

I am friendly with a couple of other partners and so have been made aware of some of the details.

They hired someone to be handcuffed to the stag, purely based on his small size. I find this really offensive.

There was really really weird games/dares involving urine that I won’t repeat on here.

Two players, DP included, lost a bet and had to streak in public wearing only a pair of underwear each which was ‘borrowed’ from a hen party out there.

At least two players cheated on their wives.

DP has verified all of the above and said it’s standard fare when rugby players go away together (added that he was unaware of the cheating and wouldn’t approve). I can’t say I was ever aware of this rugby ‘notoriety’ before I met him.

I have told him I disapprove and he thinks I am over reacting and should accept it’s par for the course. Am I over reacting?

That’s rugby tour for you. What did you think they’d get up to?! It’s pretty disgusting but standard fare for a rugby club. Some clubs are worse than others.
oh, and he’s lying to you about “not knowing” about the cheating. Have a think about why that might be.

@Stagupset He knew about the cheating

OMG. Did the woman survive this do you know?
The evil fucking bastards.

English rugby culture is so grotty.

I moved to Australia a long time ago. Not long after moving here I was in an inner city Sydney bar for work drinks on a Friday night. Surrounded by corporate types. I was chatting to an English friend of a friend when I suddenly realised he’d dropped his work trousers down to his ankles, I assume no underwear. I kept looking him in the eye, told him he was disgusting and walked away. Behind me I heard a couple of Aussie men saying “pull your fucking trousers up” while others laughed and said “oh my god what is that guy doing?”

I hope he was embarrassed enough not to do it again but I heard later he had previous form for it and it was taking him a while to realise that in Australia you are going to kicked out of a bar and / or ridiculed for doing that.

The silly women who marry these men know and accept the poor behaviour. Personally I don’t see the appeal.

It’s gross, OP. I would feel exactly the same as you.

I would not be okay with my husband being complicit in any of this. Certainly not the cheating. He is showing you who he is.

Rugby lads are the worst! As they say, a game for gentlemen played by thugs

Because it’s a middle class thing. If the men were working class they’d be vilified.

Sounds like your fella offered no excuses and said what happened when asked. I would say this is a massive green flag as the slimy rats that do the grassing and the same ones who are usually doing the shagging!!

The Not My Nigel partners are the worst. If you will rat out your mates, you will cheat on your wife, fact.

Everything you describe is pretty standard for a rugby tour, I’m afraid. That doesn’t mean that you have to be OK with it and it doesn’t mean that you are overreacting.

Typical egg chaser behaviour
Young guy I worked with told me whilst on the coach coming home new lads had to stand naked at the front and re tell of how they lost their vorginity..he was 18.

Rugby lads were behaving like this in the early nineties when I was at college, the cheating part is unacceptable but the rest I would say rugby lads have always behaved like that and are notorious for it.

I think there was a post not long ago about the behaviour of parents on a child's rugby tour/camp.

The drinking culture around rugby is vile, outdated & needs to change.

This.

It's low level bullying I feel. I'm sure a lot of the men just go along with it because it's being a part of a tribe. I saw a lot of it at university. I remember a guy who stopped playing rugby because of it, his father was a rugby coach and thought there was something wrong and the guy that explained he just didn't want to bounce pints. Argh.

Well, Rugby fans obviously.

Sounds normal and a bit mild. I would have expected a lot more of them to be cheating.

Im surprised you found out any of this though. They won’t make that mistake again.

She set out in her opening post that she’s not okay with this and you’ve promptly accused her of being okay with it.

Your follow up above is just a feeble attempt to backtrack and you are making yourself look ridiculous. By all means carry on, but on current form you won’t be doing yourself any favours.

Jesus, one of the many reasons that I fucking hate rugby. So many threads on MN over the years criticising footballers but apparently if it's rugby then it's fine.

I'm sure it's not because footballers are more likely to be working class and/or black.

Still as long as Tarquin went to a public school and a Russell Group uni who cares what he does with his rugger bugger mates eh?

That’s exactly it.

Yes, ruby players are notorious for this kind of thing. That's why they're called rugger buggers. Not because they have anal but because they act like buggers.

Sounds standard for rugby.

I’ve actually heard worse.

Theres a reason I steered clear back in my day.

It doesn’t surprise me Rugby guys tend to have a reputation. However does that mean that it’s ok and they should continue to play into this oh well it’s just what happens…absolutely not it’s just grim behaviour

Exactly.

Their disgusting reputation preceeds them.

I've never seen any posts about rugby before.

Race has nothing to do with football thuggery, if anything it's usually white men that are guilty. I think the takeaway is that groups of men on these clannish groups are often awful and disgusting.