AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

@Gloriia confirmed anything aside from high heels and tripping hazards she thinks is reasonable for a uniform @ProBonoPublico

Are you a teacher? I've said repeatedly that uniform policy should be basic. So blue or black for example, correct emblem obviously and skirts/trousers. That's it.

The obsession with the correct trouser style, the correct shoes/ socks etc is tedious and surely takes up teacher's time to police when we know some struggle with their actual teaching demands.

Underwear obviously should not be visible but girls should not be singled out when this is enforced. 'Underwear not visible' suffices surely.

Less of the 'it makes men uncomfortable' enabling crap. Anyone else who asks me what my uniform policy would be I'll c&p this .

Last post you said as long as no high heels or tripping hazard you’d be fine with anything

The school didn’t indicate their motivation was about making men feel uncomfortably

if anything the strong inference was that there are a fair number of creepy weird men out there (there is!)

Did I? I'll have to trawl back and see in context. I've no objections to a basic colour scheme and blazers etc. Sorry thought I'd been clear..

Does it matter as long as not high heels and a trip hazard?!

Do you accept that there are quite a few creepy men out there op who might be turn out or even behave dangerously towards a young teen where an obscene length skirt?

Yeah I need the rest of it tbh. I've scrolled back a few pages and I've said repeatedly I support a dress code just not the blatant misogynistic comments that we've seen throughout this awful schoolgirl shaming thread.

I agree
I suspect from men

however I don’t disagree with the newsletters turn of phrase which you also have taken issue with

Do I accept there are creepy men? Yes. Do I believe women and schoolgirls should have to considered creepy men's feelings? Nope.

Considered feelings?

what about safety? The school will be alluding to safety not men’s feelings

For me it’s a matter of standards and hygiene (having seen the bare bum look with my very own (horrified) eyes.

But the hope that creeps won’t look is a vain one. Would you @Gloriia feel it doesn’t matter if a woman wears an underwear-revealing skirt whilst working in a prison? Not as an officer, but say a prison teacher ?

'Considered feelings' was clearly a typo of consider? If you want to point out errors maybe reread your own posts first?

It was you referring to creepy men. I was answering you, not 'the school'.

But upthread you said that you didn’t think the newsletter should have written “not a good idea” because it was a vague reference to men’s feelings.

It wasn’t at all. For most of us it is alluding to the fact that it isn’t a good idea to dress like this because there’s unfortunately a fair few creepy men about

I gave you a pp's example of a message to parents? Please reread.
Policed in the same way as any rule break. Warnings etc? Just you know be proportionate and leave out any vague to protect the uncomfy males crap.

it wasn’t at all a vague plea to protect uncomfy male crap in the newsletter

'Would you feel it doesn’t matter if a woman wears an underwear-revealing skirt whilst working in a prison? Not as an officer, but say a prison teacher ?'

I would expect all these hypothetical people to have a dress code at work saying 'underwear not to be visible'. Male and female. If said hypothetical person had letters sent home with coy messages about those in skirts not wearing them short becaue it isn't a 'good idea' which resulted in discussion on here and page after page of 'women are like whores/tramps/baboons/like sex offenders flashing in parks' then I'd expect posters to say wtaf.

Sadly only the minority of us have on here. Maybe sensible people have been at work or sunbathing!

But that letter would be sent to the adult employees

this is a newsletter sent to the parents and guardians of teenagers

so they have to allow for people parenting in different ways and using their own language when speaking with their children. Hence leaving it vague.

but anyone with half a brain cell would realise the newsletter was not pleaing with parents to think of the poor men’s feelings.

So do you not want to actually answer my questions? To stop you having to skip back they were as follows:

... if you have a daughter yourself (or, if not, imagine a hypothetical one) would you be happy if she rolled up her skirt so that her bum and/or underwear was visible?

Assuming you wouldn't be happy, what would you say to her to persuade her not to dress like that, and what standards would you set for her?

What a ridiculous rule and one that is to open. My 7 year old boy is soooo slim but tall that I’ve tried every brand school trouser and still the top of his boxers show when he’s on the carpet.
Rules for teachers are generally so that you can’t see up, down or through it.

our local high school has a more relaxed policy on trousers - anything except joggers, leggings or denim. As long as they’re blaxk trousers, they can be any style and no embellishments.
shows can be anything without heels and plain black - so pure black trainers are allowed. They do however insist skirts are branded so that they’re long pleated things - rarely do the girls wear them because they’re just above the knee so are evidently rolled up when mid thigh. It doesn’t stop the rolling but seems like most girls go for skinny, cigarette style trousers anyway.

I think the fact that @Gloriia ‘s own kids “excelled” at school and were stickler to the uniform code throughout their entire time at school - has allowed her to slide in very comfortably to a view point whereby anyone criticising the length of girl’s school skirt (and I am NOT talking about using the language that many of us agree is appalling, I am strictly talking about length of skirt being very very short) is doing so because we want to protect men’s feelings.

It is farcical. Most of us will be women. Mothers. We aren’t concerned about this because of men’s feelings. We are concerned by the reality that there are quite a few dangerous predators out there, almost exclusively men, and these young teen girls are very vulnerable if wondering around in barely there school skirts which in some cases even displays their underwear

I would instruct any dc male and female to follow uniform policy. If they breached then to expect the school's penalty. Obviously if it was silly like slim versus classic trousers I'd challenge it.

However that would be without telling any schoolgirl that they looked like tramps or whores obvs. It's not hard, its no wonder some struggle to parent their dc if the simple things cause such issues.

The mentality and blame culture on this thread is the issue, clearly some have been brainwashed by schools! Wait til they go to college and even midriffs may be visible .

Please stop harping on about the language of some users that have now scampered off. it was appalling. They have left. You don’t need to keep on and on about it.

Do you accept that the vast majority of
mothers are going to be concerned about the length of school skirts around atm
not because of men’s
feelings but genuine safety concerns

and please don’t repeat for the 100x time that you have an issue with the language used by some users. Yes,’it was appalling. Yes, they have gone.

If you quote me I'll respond as I like, within TGs.

The problem is the appalling names, sneers and language were right through the thread and only challenged by a handful of posters. We had one alleged ex teacher likening school girls to baboons flashing their privates that ok with you?

Now conveniently you want to sweep it under the carpet because 'they have all gone' apparently. Phew!

Look, for the trillionth time no one should show their underwear. Whether a schoolkid, a teacher or a dinner lady. Dress codes are fine just impose them and support them with neutral language which you agree with. Well done!

Oh god here we go 🙄

I’ll leave you to it

I simply asked whether you thought the majority of mothers were concerned about this issue that so many of us see because of men’s feelings?

as surely you just realise - that simply
wont be the case

But yes you’ll respond about the language used