AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

older teens are… would you say that they look “ugly and so cheap” if they had a tattoo?

Wasn't that strict in my day tbh. More a case of the right colour and correct emblem they didn't have this obsession about exact trouser style and the correct colour socks.

It is absolutely batshit now. Even shoe style. Does it matter as long as not high heels and a trip hazard?!

So when you say upthread that you do agree with a sensible uniform policy at schools - that code would be “no high heels” and no “trip hazards” only? Or anything else?

How is it demonising anybody to suggest that there's nothing wrong with picking your nose or wearing very little/nothing in an appropriate place, but that it isn't all about you in public; and everybody's feelings matter and not just yours?

It's the same with people who watch a YouTube video at full volume on a packed bus - it's simply a case of understanding that other people are as important in their own right and are not just scenery to your life. Most people are able to learn this from a very young age.

And if you really believe that most teenagers would get upset by the very concept of somebody talking about a 'sweaty arse' rather than euphemising it with, say, 'a bottom subjected to the natural organic challenges of everyday life', I would seriously wonder how many actual teenagers you had ever met or spoken to.

Apparently everything has to be in hushed tones fill with niceties. People's little darlings shouldn't be called out for their behaviour.

There is nothing wrong with a school having standards for behaviour, uniform etc, expressing those standards clearly, and enforcing them without fear or favour, @CricketIsASport. But I can understand teachers not wanting to be accused of predatory behaviour - 'You can't say that to me, Miss/Sir - you were looking at my bum, you perve!' And I think it is perfectly possible to have uniform standards and enforce them without running that risk.

Actually all trousers is a great solution to the issue.

This is the type of weather where I’m damn please my daughter don’t have to wear trousers!!

This is the type of weather where I’m damn please my daughter don’t have to wear trousers!!

Smart, knee length shorts would be a good option for boys and girls. (Smart as in not denim or jersey or sportswear type.)

Girls used to wear summer dresses. Why did they stop? Advantage of a dress is that you can't roll it at the waist!

What I get from this response is -
‘my kid is a little sh** and I can’t parent well so I was constantly reminded of school rules. My lack of respect has rubbed off onto my kids who now do not respect authority nor rules. My child was that disruptive that teachers could barely ascertain their progress because they were either not doing it; not trying hard or absent due to [isolation for behaviour or family term time holiday here]’

As it turns out… @Gloriia has confirmed that her daughters entirely conformed to the uniform code throughout their entire time at school and they all “excelled” at school.

oh and she has never actually witnessed any girl wearing the length of skirt many of us have.

So she is coming at the issue from a somewhat… theoretical stance

But as @Gloriia keeps telling us

her issue with the thread is the language employed (fair enough)

and she actually does think a uniform code is sensible but it should be limited to no “high heels” or tripping hazards 🤭 and all the many incompetent teachers that she thinks dominates the industry should instead focus on TEACHING

In a prefect world where a woman can wear as long or as short a skirt as she wishes, where she can walk through a park in the wee small hours without fear, where she can walk past a building site or asylum seekers on a street corner, or be confident and smile at a stranger without fearing he may take it as a "take me take me" invitation....
But it's not a prefect world.

And even in a perfect world free of VAWG. It doesn't make revealing clothing appropriate in every situation

Who has said 'hushed toned with niceties'? Just leave out the sneers, slurs, insults and misogyny. Rtft it's full of them.

'Little darlings' of course should be called out for their behaviour. It's such a shame that some don't know the difference between that and the non stop revulsion at schoolgirl's 'sweaty arses' that we've seen on here.

Yes, supposing we lived in a magical utopia where nobody was ever remotely violent, aggressive, abusive, threatening, unkind or anything else negative whatsoever towards other people, and we lived in a world of pure kindness, friendliness, sincere philanthropy and respect... most of us still wouldn't want to see people walking around with their underwear and private body parts on show.

In fact, anybody insisting on dressing that way would indeed blow the idea of kindness and respect for other people out of the water, and actually spoil that perfect harmonious society singlehandedly.

When you say you agree with a uniform code and that it should be “no high heels” or tripping hazards… is that the extent of your uniform code wish @Gloriia ?

Our dc were great. Never had a detention, I never got summoned to anyone's office. We instilled the need to respect teachers, difficult though that was at times.

I had friends, family and even passing acquaintances though y'see. Just because ours generally adhered to the rules doesn't mean I didn't witness others who didn't. I don't want kids being sent home for the wrong trousers, the wrong shoes or the wrong socks. Do you?

Priorities are fucked in some schools, sadly.

my god I bet you were disappointed your kids were such uniform conformists! 🤭

I think it's a perfectly normal response that people would experience revulsion at school at being forced to see the buttocks - sweaty or otherwise - of ANY of the girls, boys, male teachers, female teachers, admin staff, catering staff, facilities staff or cleaning staff.

It's just that, of all of those groups of people that you routinely see at a school, only certain members of the first one are actually choosing to display their buttocks and making everybody see them whilst going about their normal day.

'My god' why would I be disappointed?!

It's perfectly possible to have kids adhering to uniform policy whilst rolling my eyes at Miss measuring some poor girl's skirt length in the playground or pointing at the wrong shoes of another.

I just wonder if it's a psychological thing. We know many teachers often hate their jobs and struggle with the challenges. Maybe the uniform control instills some kind of importance and boosts their ego? Who knows. All very weird.

Because I suspect you would have loved to have gone hell to leather about the right of your girls to wear whatever length skirt they want and that the teachers should focus on teaching.

Or maybe not? Considering you were appalled at most of the teaching your kids received throughout their time at school but could only bring yourself to eye roll

I think she's a contrarian. Trying to purposely find disagreement and arguement.

And far far far from the first time