AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

So, you would have preferred your ticket going to waste and not being used. It was up to you to sell, and if you hadn’t bothered to do so by the concert, you would have preferred an empty seat? That’s your prerogative, but I think it’s really odd.

I think that was really rude of your sister!

She delayed giving you an answer about DN preventing you from selling the ticket. She then gifted it onto the boyfriend without even telling you or thanking you nevermind paying you! Did she realise you expected payment for DN's use?

Why couldn't it have been sold at that late stage?

You should have been clearer at the outset when you realized you had double booked.
If you wanted to sell the ticket you should have told your sister that, offered her first refusal, given her a certain length of time to say yes or no and then sold it elsewhere if she didn't want it.

Most of the people on here have responded reasonably and proportionately.

As far as I can see, no one except you is suggesting OP's family is in any way "always" dismissive or unreasonable in their conduct towards OP. Not even OP herself.

You seem determined to make a case for OP's family being unusually unreasonable in their conduct towards her with nothing substantial to back it up.

On the contrary, three sisters arranging to enjoy a concert together suggests a close and mutually cooperative relationship, which on this occasion went wrong due to OP getting her dates mixed up.

If you are determined to find a villain in this story, OP would be the obvious choice, but in all honesty, there is no villain, just three usually loving sisters and an unfortunate set of circumstances.

YABU - the ticket was down the drain anyway. He only went along because it was spare. Bit graspy of you to expect payment for it.

The way you are writing this to make it clear BF wasn’t bothered about going screams reverse.

Your lack of proactivity is at fault here.

So you would rather the ticket went to waste instead of her boyfriend coming along?

You had more than enough time to sell it so don't pull that excuse, nope wouldn't have expected payment you were choosing not to sell or use them

You shpukd have made ut very clear from the outset you wanted payment for ticket. Personally I'd have stood the loss unless they insisted on payment

All i deduce from this post is that you are deliberately trying to manufacture an argument with me because that is the only explanation for you totally misrepresenting what I have said . The hyperbole is quite frankly laughable .

Your implication though that everyone on the thread should voice the same opinion is not laughable though.

So you thought the ticket had been wasted and are now annoyed that even though you did not sell it it was actually used? You are being vvv unreasonable.

I think you're being petty and mean.

It was your disorganisation that meant you couldn't go to the concert, you weren't proactive about selling it, and the ticket would otherwise have gone to waste.

YABU, you can sell on twickets up till early evening on the day of the concert, even if you do need to reduce the price to be competitive and get it sold. You could also have said, after the position had been clarified with DN, that they could see if a friend would come but that you'd like at least a contribution to the cost. Doesn't sound like you've been very specific and there was a ticket that was not going to be used, so your financial position isn't really any different.

The Op could've checked the age limit herself, it's usually on the front of the ticket anyway!

But you knew they had hold of your ticket so why didn’t you message one of your sisters to ask if anyone was buying it or not. If not you’ll put it for resale.

You should have made it clear you wanted the money for the ticket. Whether it was for your niece or someone else. If you’d told your sister you wanted money for it, they’d have told the boyfriend this and he could have decided whether he wanted to go or not.
You left it too late to sell. It would have been nice for the boyfriend to offer a token amount towards the ticket (actually, your sister should) but I don’t think you can ask for money for it.

If you wanted to sell it you should have just sold it, not waited months.

I'd just e happy someone used the ticket.

You ‘dropped the ball’ on this one. You should’ve been confirming arrangements for your ticket weeks ago and reselling if needed. This one is on you.

i couldn’t imagine embarrassing myself like this. You’d prefer for the seat to be empty than your sisters boyfriend going when you know he has no interest in the event anyway. I can imagine this isn’t the first instance of such behaviour from you .

If you wanted to sell it, you needed to actually sell it I’m afraid. It’s a bit annoying the first sister didn’t get back to you sooner but you should have chased her and then listed it if it was important to you.

If I'd been the boyfriend I'd probably have offered you some money for the ticket, FWIW. Equally though, in your shoes, 48 hours before a gig I can't attend and can't sell my ticket for, I'd probably have resigned myself to giving it away. Pay for someone to have a good time or pay for your sister to sit next to an empty seat? Either way you're out of pocket to the tune of one ticket.

I have had this happen a couple of times for stuff that I know other people aren't bothered about but I just think it's nice to see the ticket used and its easier than faffing about trying to sell on. In those cases they bought me a bottle of wine (1 couple) or a bunch of flowers (2nd time). I wouldn't expect payment unless he specifically wanted to go/asked for the ticket which he didnt, i suspect if youd offered it for any money/for him to buy he just wouldve said no and not gone. Ultimately you were getting nothing and it would be wasted if he hadnt used it. I would expect a "thank you" and a sign of appreciation though and the tacit knowledge he/your sister owe you one.

Really, it’s not like he actually wanted to go, she said if he had to pay he’d not have went. He only went along so as not to waste it.

You double booked, you accept the loss. I think it's cheeky of you to expect payment, even more so knowing that it's not something he would have bought a ticket for himself.