AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

Why the snidey comment addressed to me ?
My post was actually meant to be sympathetic to OP.

I think neither of her sisters come out of this well. The first sister for messing OP around. The second sister because even if her boyfriend was ill mannered enough not to offer payment for the ticket then she should have been reimbursing OP.

It waz a genuine question as to whether this is the way her family normally treat her because they do sound very dismissive of her.

The problem I have with this is you were prepared to accept the ticket money had gone, at the point the concert happened, you thought no one had bought your ticket and it was just going to be an empty seat - and you were ok with that as you didn’t try to sell on the ticket in good time or push your other sister to pay for the ticket you’d held for DN.

In that situation, I think it’s fine for the boyfriend to just go for free.

Asking for payment is likely to cause much more trouble than it’s worth.

No i wouldn't expect to be paid. You hadn't sold it, it would have gone to waste.

So unreasonable. If I hadn’t been organised and I’d double booked myself, I absolutely would not charge niece, sisters boyfriend or any family for my ticket.

I think the lesson here would have been to offer the tickets for sale to family and then no takers then sell wider (if permitted)

Definitely not ok to expect payment without prior discussion

I wouldn’t expect payment. I have gifted show tickets and concert tickets if I have been unable to attend. It’s better than going to waste. Your chances of getting the full asking price for a single ticket are negligible and so it is better to do something nice for someone else.

You should have set a deadline for you sister to make a choice about taking dn. I wouldn't charge the bf as it was only going to waste anyway. Would have been nice if dsis2 or bf had offered you something but sounds like he only went because you couldn't. Your family sounds really bad at organisation and communication unfortunately.

You had a year to sort this out, you cant expect payment when you left it that late.
You should have messaged DSis a month before at least saying "can you let me know by tomorrow if you're buying the ticket for DD as otherwise ill need to sell it online"

Yabu
You had plenty of time to sell the ticket but didn't.
You still hadn't done anything with it 2 days before the concert, at which point it was just going to be wasted surely?

So no, i wouldn't expect payment

It's DS1's fault that this happened because she was so careless about letting you know in good time. If you're looking for reimbursement it should be from her.

There is nothing in anything OP has said that suggests her family is or always is "dismissive" of her. Your post isn't supportive, it's a direct dig at her family for being "dismissive" and an implied dig at her for "always" putting up with it.

At any time after she realised she had double booked she could have sold the ticket. She chose not to. Her sister's boyfriend used the ticket rather than waste it.

No one has "dismissed" anyone. OP's family has done nothing wrong and your nasty dig at OP having a family that might "always" be "dismissive" of her was unnecessary.

I wouldn’t take a penny in those circumstances. And I’m hardly loaded.
Obviously if it was a high demand ticket like Coldplay then the ticket agent would have sold it on for you easily.
It is not as if this guy was desperate to go and took advantage. He just accompanied your sister so that the seat wasn’t empty.
It was you who double booked. You still got to go to your own event and your main concern here is a token payment?
Joyless.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc

Why didn't you check instead of waiting, it would've taken seconds on Google.

So if you didn't know he was going, you just assumed your ticket was going unused? I don't understand why it matters to you that someone did use it in that case? You weren't expecting to get any money back from it. If he wasn't really that bothered about going, I expect he'd have said no to paying for it anyway and would have just not gone.

No. Sorry but I’d have given her a time frame to ensure you had time to sell it

Id never even think about charging, I'd just be glad it went to someone who could use it. You do all need to work on your communication with them though. You should of given your sister a deadline for getting back to you and said no problem if not but you'll be selling it online if her daughter doesn't want it. She should of got back to you though and communicated with you and not left you hanging. The other sister should of checked in with you before assuming her boyfriend could have the ticket. Just bad communication all round. This particular hill isn't one to die on, they are your sister's so you just need to move on. Just be mindful of better communication and boundaries next time.

I’d let it go. I have given away (for free) long-booked tickets to friends when dh has later been unable to go. Better than wasting them

Me too. For friends and relatives I 'offer' them, not try to sell them.

What on earth came up that you would waste an expensive concert ticket? If you were bothered about the money you should have asked if they want to buy it (your sisters) and given a deadline before reselling. You were very passive and would not have had time to sell it so they probably thought why waste it.

No you can’t expect him to pay for it. The lack of communication between you & your other sis reference your niece is the issue.

YABU, you double booked and that was your fault. If you wanted to sell it you should have let your sister know asap and done this from the start, although I think that would also be a bit off since your sister booked thinking she had someone to go with. I think the only really reasonable thing in this situation was for you to give up your ticket for free to whomever your sister wanted to go with as you’ve cancelled on her after she bought a ticket.

Well if you think her first sister not getting back to her about the ticket despite repeated requests by OP isn't ignorant behaviour you must have very low standards when it comes to common courtesy and consideration. No wonder people are so rude to strangers, friends and colleagues if this is normal behaviour in the family..And not offering to reimburse OP is just plain rude.

Why you have taken such exception to me posing a perfectly reasonable question to OP is a mystery to me. Unless if course you are just wanting to be unpleasant for the hell of it,

This is about communication. If you wanted to resell the ticket you should have said to DS1: "I need an answer by X date, otherwise I'm going to sell the ticket".

Then if you didn't hear from her by that date, you sell the ticket.

You didn't do this. Time ran by. She was busy or didn't know how to solve the problem - which was YOUR problem by the way.

You need to take responsibility for this. The ticket was unsold.

An unbothered person used the ticket so it didn't go to waste.

Would you have preferred he didn't go so you could know no one had fun at your expense?

That's just weird.

Put it down to experience and learn to communicate better. You created the problem, you needed to solve the problem.

Other people stepped in and made the best of a poor situation.

You can't now blame everyone else. It's not their fault you double booked yourself.

Learn to take accountability and can I say, would you trade your relationship with your sister for this amount of money?

Is she worth £100? Or whatever it was?

Or is she more important than that? Your posts are straight up super immature. You seem to want to value your family poorly and you want to blame other people for your mistakes and then make sure no one was having a good time while you messed up.

Poor show OP, a very poor show. Grow up.

I think choosing to go to a concert yourself is very different to being left to go to one yourself as sister double booked and then sold her own ticket.

This one is on you. Should have been more organised.

He just used it so it wouldn’t go to waste. Would you rather it went in the bin as you have pointed out you couldn’t sell it? You