AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

This- it was too late for you to sell it anyway, you didn’t try to sell it, so you’d have been down the money regardless.

You could have listed it on twickets at short notice if you really wanted cash for it. YABU if you’d rather it went to waste then him going and having a nice time.

Why did you wait until 2 days before the concert to sort anything out? I would have said ages before that to let me know if anyone wanted to buy it from me otherwise I am going to sell it. That would have made it clear that you wanted money. It doesn't sound as though you would have got any money as you were still hanging onto it, also you weren't clear enough about it.

If you wanted to sell the ticket you needed to have got your arse in gear and done it. Rather than waiting around for Sis1 to make up her mind and then doing nothing.

It sounds like you only found out the ticket was used after the event so you must have been resigned to not selling it. You admit the BF wasn't that interested so he probably only went because Sis2 asked him. If he'd had to pay he probably would have said er, no thanks.

It is good that it wasn't wasted. Keep a closer eye on your diary in future lol.

No I wouldnt expect money. Unless you said "do you want to buy my ticket otherwise im selling it" i think most would assume you're offering for free as ticket going to waste anyway

Nope I would be delighted the ticket didn’t go to waste. No chance I’d be looking for payment in these circumstances.

I would be happy to let my Sister and her boyfriend have a nice evening together seeing as you couldn't go. Having kids might mean they don't get the opportunity as often to do much together.
Family comes before money. Don't be so tight. Hopefully they had a lovely night.

The ticket was going to be wasted. You most likely wouldn’t have sold a single ticket two days before the event. Unless you are on the poverty line, let it go.
I have often gave tickets away last minute as DS refused to participate on the day.

I’m actually surprised you even wanted money from your niece. I can understand why you weren’t wishing to step up and tell them all you wanted cash. It’s tight and embarrassing

Did you, at any point, say that you would like to be reimbursed for the ticket?

I wouldn't expect payment but I was just like you, hanging around waiting for other people and then I learnt to take back control by saying something like "if I don't hear from you by X, I'll sell the ticket on eBay". When someone is keeping you hanging on with something wide open and they won't close it down one way or the other then you have to close it for them.

I think it was a bit off to make an arrangement with your DSis to attend an event and then bail on her, would she really have wanted to go on her own, would you have if she had bailed on you? Was the other arrangement more important to you than your sister? Your only concern seems to be getting your ticket money back with no thought for your DSis, you let her down, I guess she was trying to find someone else to go with rather than go on her own. In the past when I had to pull out of an event, due to I’ll health rather than just fancying something else better, I gave my ticket for free to my friend apologised for bailing and said I hoped that she could find someone else to go with at short notice.

I would offer to pay for the ticket if I was the boyfriend. I wouldn’t expect the money back if it was my ticket though. It’s always annoying to lose money but it’s already been gone for months anyway. Would your sister expect you to pay her back if it was the other way around?

How much was the ticket?
I would be more annoyed at the sibling dillydallying over her daughter going tbh.

You should have DS ask early on to confirm if she was taking her daughter, and tell her that otherwise you’d sell the ticket. If you really did intend to charge for DN going you should have definitely made it clear from the start

You weren’t clear at the beginning you wanted paid for the ticket. You could have resold it on Ticketmaster/Twickets, or offered it to your sister/niece/boyfriend/friend for a discount or even full price, but you can’t really sit there and expect people to throw money at you when it looked like the ticket was about to go to waste.

I call reverse

Would you be happier if nobody had gone and your tickets had remained in the drawer at home OP?

I'd say they owe you a favour or a drink

I wouldn’t expect payment for some one going last minute because the ticket was spare. If you wanted to get your money back you should have sold it.

Why, as they didn’t let the ticket go to waste, she wasn’t using it and made no effort to sell it or use or words to let them know she wished to.

If you wanted to sell the ticket, you should have given your sister a deadline and told her that if you hadn't heard from her about your niece taking it by then, you would sell it. Since you did nothing, you really can't expect the boyfriend to pay for the ticket.

Unless you specified from the start “I can’t go, would anyone like to buy the ticket?”
you can’t now ask for payment.

you clearly gave them ticket to be used without discussing payment

I think in his head it’s a spare ticket which would otherwise go to waste, so he doesn’t want to pay for it since he’s not too fussed about going. Your sister probably talked him into going. I personally would still pay you, but he might not, especially if he thinks your sister sorted it out for him and paid for it.

I would leave it for now as it’s not worth making things difficult. Next time set boundaries and give a deadline after which you won’t wait any longer and will sell the ticket to someone else. You’ve learned your lesson.

This is very odd in that you assumed you had lost the money until after the concert and now hope for payment. Definitely wouldn't expect the money from someone who wasn't bothered about going. In your shoes would be annoyed at myself for leaving it so late (and at DS1 for not letting me know sooner) but it can be quite tricky to sell single tickets unless a sold out event (and if it was Harry Styles then loads of resale tickets available)