AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

If absolutely no one else was going to buy it from you, then you're being petty.

Had my DSis text me beforehand to check it was ok I would have said I expect him to pay, at that point at least a token amount.

Good grief how incredibly grabby of you.

You had lost the money by not selling it on, someone using the ticket at the last minute instead of wasting it would have been fine by me... the original cock up was yours anyway!

It was the sister's fault though for not telling OP in good time that her daughter wasn't going. OP had given her months to say if N was going or not.

Very convenient that BF could make it "last minute"

He shouldnt have to pay for it. I hope he enjoyed it anyway.

How much was the ticket?

You had 6 months at least to sell the ticket and you never, It would of went to waste if he didnt use it.

Exactly the same thing happened to me. I was going to take DGD and a friend to a concert, at the last minute I couldn’t. DGDs friends DF stepped in and offered to pay for my ticket. In the end he couldn’t go.

Thankfully someone else stepped up and I did not expect that person to pay for ticket. Two happy teenagers!

He stepped in to use a ticket that would have otherwise gone to waste, to a concert he wasn’t bothered about going to.
I wouldn’t have expected him to pay for it, it does seem a little odd you would have preferred it go to waste.

Sorry but you should have made it clear from the start that you wanted payment, and if you thought you might want to sell the ticket you should have given your sister a cut-off date to make a decision. It was up to you to do that, not her. Once things had got to that stage, it’s not reasonable to expect the bf to pay because he probably didn’t particularly want to go and the alternative would heave been to waste the ticket completely.

OP can also take some responsibility and have said you have to X date to check or I am selling it.
She never. So yes that is the OP fault.

If he hadn’t of gone then you wouldn’t have anything for it either.
You did nothing about it and just left it so couldn’t have been too bothered.

I'd just be glad it wasn't going to waste, right it off

It doesn’t sound like you made any attempt to sell the ticket, so otherwise it would have just gone to waste. Surely it makes no difference to you that he went, seeing as you weren’t selling it anyway?

You were flaky and let your sisters down by agreeing to go to an event with them when you weren't actually free and then choosing the other thing as a better option.

If you wanted to sell the ticket if niece didn't want it you should have just said 'let me know by this date and I'll try sell it if she doesn't want it', not leave it open ended not giving a deadline at all.

I doubt the boyfriend would have gone if he'd had to pay for it given that he wasn't fussed enough to want to go in the first place. YABU.

Would you have paid for your sister’s ticket if she couldn’t go because you’d dropped out on her? Come on now.

No - if you wanted payment for it you should have followed up with DS1 much earlier than you actually did.

True - but it was used in the end so why shouldn't she get paid for it?

If it was unused then that would have been annoying, but her sister and her BF got use out of something and so they are in the "credit" for free (win-win) - whereas OP didnt get either the enjoyment of the night, OR the money (lose-lose)

Yes or at least a token payment or a bunch of flowers or something

Sorry OP but this sounds like a situation all of your own making… from the post (I could be wrong), it sounds like your sister is the one who has had the responsibility of organising/booking etc? Your part in this has been to double book an event, and then be very passive in terms of selling on the ticket. If financial compensation was a priority for you, you really should have got on and sold the ticket straight away, not 2 days before the event. I do agree it would have been courteous/ nice for sister to check about using the ticket to prevent it going to waste, but I think it’s a dog-in-the-manger response to say the boyfriend can’t go unless he pays- you’d really rather see it go to complete waste than agree to him going???
I hope you can reflect on some on these responses with a clear mind and see that in the future if you want something to happen you need to take action, not watch and wait

Eh? If neither could go then they could have sold both tickets, obviously

Did you want payment for the ticket, even if your niece had used it? Of did you only want payment because your sister's boyfriend used it instead? If you didn't ask for payment, then you can't really complain when no money was given. Having said that, family or not, my first question would have been 'do you want any money for the ticket'. I wouldn't have assumed the ticket was a freebie!

No I would not have expected payment, not even a token amount. I would however expected your sister 2 to give you a text to say he is using it just to be polite.

However I am at a lost why you left your sister 1 mess you about regarding the ticket. Surely you could have looked up on ticketmaster etc whether you niece would be able to attend or not and then have plenty of time to sell the ticket.

Why would you have asked him to pay when he didn’t really want to go, and you were going to lose your money anyway?!
That’s just tight!

I'm guessing they didn't tell you because they knew you would be unreasonable about it!

You sound pretty grabby and petty to be honest.
If you were going to sell it and they asked for it early on then fair enough you should get the money, but it was going to waste!

Nah. A month out you should have said to dsis 1 " I'm putting my ticket on stubhub tomorrow. Let me know tonight if you want it"
If boyf has gone along to see ( wild guess Harry Styles or someone ) cos it's free, it ain't on him