AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

You should have specified you want paying or youbare going to sell. It sounds like you gifted the ticket and so no you cant expect payment.

Yes that is what he did. I didn’t find out until yesterday, from my mum, that he went using my ticket. Had my DSis text me beforehand to check it was ok I would have said I expect him to pay, at that point at least a token amount. I feel annoyed that she hasn’t contacted me at all and assumed it was ok.

90% are telling you you're unreasonable and you still expect him to pay?

It's your mistake, by double booking yourself. No one has to compensate you for your own cock ups.

This ^

You double booked yourself and therefore couldn't use the ticket yourself. As you say he probably wouldn't have gone, wasn't really a fan, I don't think you can expect payment for a ticket a couple of days before the event , which was too late to sell on. It would have been nice if he'd offered to pay half...that would have been generous under the circumstances but I certainly wouldn't have asked him for this.
It was your ticket so you were responsible for selling it ion if that's what you wanted. You should have said to S1 You haven't mentioned if you're taking niece so I'm selling the ticket on now. Do you want it for half price or r not?
Everything has been left to the last minute. In this scenario I would be glad the ticket was being used rather than wasted.
Lesson learnt. Be careful not to double book yourself. Your mistake, you are likely going to be out of pocket. I've double booked myself before op. An expensive mistake ...but my mistake. I was just glad that the ticket did get used rather than wasted 😀

@ThatHazelWasp it would have been reasonable of you to have told dsis1 straight away that you wanted to sell your ticket since you couldn't use it. Then she could have chosen to buy it from you had she so wished. If she didn't know whether her daughter could attend or not you could have given her a timelimit- get back to me in 24 u if you want to buy it or I will put out an ad.

As things were you let it slide which made your sister reasonable for using it. Had it been me I would have told you straight away if I would want to buy it or not but dsis1 seems flakey and you probably know this so YABU.

Bit odd you would rather it go to waste than have someone use and get the benefit of it.

So you would have rather no one used the ticket (meaning you got no money) rather than someone you knew did use the ticket (with you getting no money).

That sounds extremely petty. If you didn't know until yesterday he'd used the ticket, then you clearly had no interest in selling it.

There' a lot of 'expect' in your post and not much communication. You needed to speak with your sister regarding whether your niece was going or not and get a definite yes or no ("I need to know by tomorrow night" or whatever) As it was all very last minite I would not be expecting the boyfriend to pay. I would let this go.

You made no effort to sell it on. It just comes across like you found a convenient excuse to claw back some of the money you wasted on the ticket. Which is unfair considering you were perfectly happy for no-one to use it at all

You wouldn’t have the money for the ticket even if he hadn’t taken it, so that horse has left the stable.

It might be nice if he bought you a bottle of wine to say thanks but since you didn’t stipulate that you wanted payment that is about all you can expect I think.

So you would have preferred the seat to be empty and the ticket to go to waste?

odd mentality

If you wanted money for it you should have sold it.

Do you mean you would rather have had the ticket go to waste than have DSIS boyfriend go for free? That makes you sound dreadful tbh.

This one is completely on you. It would have been fine if you wanted to try and get the money back (if you were able to resell it), but you needed to make that clear right from the start. “Sorry, realised I’ve double booked myself. Do you know anyone who’d like to buy my ticket? otherwise I’ll try to sell it online”.
You cannot expect money for it after the event when you’ve made no real attempt to sort anything out.

How much was the ticket?

I wonder if you are caught up here because you've wasted a significant amount of money and are annoyed at yourself.

A token amount or full amount should be paid if someone enthusiastically wants to go and them taking a ticket prevents others buying it.

A last minute seat filler to keep your sisters company (bearing in mind you kind of let them down too when they thought you would be there with them/ maybe an extra person sharing car park charges or taxi charges) who doesn't necessarily want to be there- no they don't need to oay.

You believed the ticket had been wasted, you should be pleased to know something was salvaged.

You let your sister down by double booking you should be glad she was able to find someone else to go with.

You could not have sold your own ticket leaving your sister to go herself. Be glad it went to good use and sister was not inconvenienced by your double booking.

YANBU - your sister used your ticket for her own family (doesnt matter if it was her daughter or partner) so she should pay for your one

Sneaky sister you have there! Sounds like she planned this by delaying telling you about her daughter, giving you no time to sell

Edit done

You could not have sold your own ticket leaving your sister to go herself.

Of course she could-assuming that the sister is an adult and not mentally incapacitated. Plenty of people go to concerts alone.

So what you’re basically saying is that you would rather the ticket remained unused and you got no payment? Rather than someone who wasn’t that fussed about the concert going along?

I agree with the vast majority here: you double booked yourself, it was your responsibility to sell the ticket. It sounds like the sister who dithered and didn’t respond for ages was also a bit unreasonable but to be fair, you could have pushed her to make a decision and explained you needed time to sell the ticket.

if it had been something that the boyfriend really wanted to go to, wouldn’t he have offered to buy the ticket earlier? By your own admission, he wasn’t bothered and only used the ticket as it was going to waste so it seems unreasonable to expect payment from him.

He did you a favour by using it so it didn’t go to waste. You should have sold it as soon as you realised you couldn’t go.

So you would have expected your DSis to go to a concert on her own? You let her down, so she had to scramble to get someone else to go.

These experiences are always more fun with someone - you dont want to go alone

I’d let it go. I have given away (for free) long-booked tickets to friends when dh has later been unable to go. Better than wasting them.

If it was me, I wouldn’t expect payment. We’ve had a couple of events where one of us couldn’t go, so the other invited a friend and we just gave away the ticket.

However, I think in your case it was really off that your sister delayed working out if her daughter could go, so you missed out on selling it. That isn’t fair.

Would you rather the ticket went to waste? I would get charging DS1 if she took her DD as that would have stopped you selling. But the BF taking a last minute ticket that was going to not be used you can’t expect payment

I think you should have been much clearer. Both that you wanted payment and giving a date that she had to let you know by so you could have sold it elsewhere if she didn’t want it for DN. By not doing that it does imply that you weren’t that bothered. From their perspective I assume that they thought you weren’t trying to resell it so they may as well use it rather than it go to waste.

I’ve quite often been given tickets for things for free that a friend can’t attend because they don’t want to waste it, so I think it’s not unreasonable for it be assumed you don’t want payment unless told otherwise