AIBU to expect payment when my sister's boyfriend used my concert ticket?

[ThatHazelWasp]

Long time lurker first time poster.

Need some outside perspectives on this to see if I’m the one that’s unreasonable. Bought concert tickets last year alongside DSis1 and Dsis2. Realised a few months later I had double booked myself so couldn’t go to the concert.

DS1 wanted to use my ticket to take her daughter, my DN, but wanted to check she was allowed to go due to her age etc. I asked DS1 a few times if she wanted the ticket but she always replied she needed to look into. DSis never actually told me she wasn’t going to take DN, only when i text her 2 days before the concert about something unrelated did she let me know. This didn’t leave me any time to sell the ticket and I was also on holiday the week before the concert.

Dsis2 boyfriend ended up going to the concert using my ticket. I don’t think he was really bothered about going but they saw it as the ticket was going to get wasted so he may as well use it. DSis2 didn’t text me before the concert to let me know or to ask if this was ok. Had she messaged me I would have told her he’s fine to take the ticket but I expect him to pay me for it. I don’t think DS2 boyfriend would have gone if he had to pay for the ticket.

To add I also would have expected DSis1 to pay me for the ticket if she wanted to take DN.

AIBU to expect DSis2/boyfriend to pay me for my ticket?

i've gone to see shows in London a couple of times when friends have booked but been unable to attend. I've offered to attend but they said no as it was their bad that they couldn't go

Sorryeamy to say O offered to pay!

OP didn't get any enjoyment as she double booker herself in the first place and then took no personal responsibility to sell the ticket.

The ticket would of went to waste, it was worthless by the time the BF stepped in. Its petty.

Wow typing is off the charts bad today - you get the drift

If you could have got a refund on your ticket they should give you some money.

If the ticket was non refundable you would have lost the money anyway. It would have been nice of them to give you a few quid/box of chocs as a thank you though.

So what did you think happened to the ticket?
Presumably you thought it hadn't been used and you said yourself you had no time to sell it.
I don't see what the difference is, the ticket would have been wasted anyway and you wouldn't have got any money for it.

Did you at any point make it clear that you wanted payment for the ticket and if no one from your family wanted to buy it, you were wanting to sell it to someone else?

If you did, and they pissed you about until it was too late to do that, then I think a token amount since it was used, would be fair.

If you didn't though, then no. It all boils down to communication really!

No tough luck, he wasn't even bothered about going. You could of gotten organised and sold the ticket, even at last minute on a ticket resell website.

YABU it was going to waste anyway, you didn’t have time to sell it so why not just give it to him?

The ship has sailed if you want to get any payment now. You should have been clear from the start that you wanted money.

It seems a bit mean spirited that you dropped out from going, didn't make any effort to find someone else to use the ticket and now you are upset that the boyfriend went last minute.

The fault lies with you for messing your sister around and then not doing/saying anything afterwards.

I couldn’t have expected payment but would have set a deadline for sister to answer so you cpuld have sold it. I’ve given away tickets before on fan forums when I had a spare one cos someone couldn’t go, so not pre ious about tickets. But your sister was rude

You must bring so much sun and sunshine to your family with your sweet and positive outlook.

Poor OP, is not so fortunate.

With so much evidence in her post that her family deliberately sets out to treat her dismissively. I would say it's a clear case of "LTBs".

If you told him he had to pay it sounds likely he wouldn’t have went and it would of went to waste anyway so not sure why you expect any payment

Sounds like the communication was poor all round.

I do think your sister was a bit cheeky to take your ticket for her boyfriend without even asking you as a courtesy, but I also think it’s unreasonable of you to expect him to pay. You were happy to let the ticket go to waste, you took no proactive action to try and sell it - so it seems pretty churlish that you would then have insisted on payment if your sister had asked you about using the spare ticket for her partner.

Next time, if you’re bothered, sell the ticket. If a family member expresses an interest give them a clear deadline to purchase before you’ll sell on the open market.

It was going unused - we often give away spare tickets rather than see them go to waste. I think it’s fine, personally. As you said, he was t even that fussed.

If you wanted money because you knew months in advance you couldn’t go then you should have worked this out all much earlier rather than leaving it to when you were on holiday to worry about it. I assume you didn’t actually buy the ticket yourself and one of your sisters did and you paid them back so that they had it to give away? Events are usually very strict on tickets being in the correct name. So if you’d sold it whilst away your sisters would have had to arrange to either meet someone at the venue or arrange the transfer somehow?

Ultimately it almost sounds like you’d rather it had gone to waste than someone use it? It sounds like the poor bloke didn’t really want to go but got rather dragged!! I very much doubt he’d have paid then! So how else would it have been sold so late? BUT it would have been polite to let you know they couldn’t see what else to do and to thank you for the ticket I guess.

You only found out after he used the ticket?

So presumably - as you can't sell a ticket for an event that has already happened - you didn't intend to sell it and preferred to see the ticket wasted.

By your own account, your sister's boyfriend wasn’t particularly bothered about the concert and only went so he could spend the evening with her.

You are being very unreasonable.

He did a good thing, using a ticket that would otherwise be wasted and accompanying your sisters who you let down by double-booking.

Personally if I double booked i wouldn't expect a family member to pay for the ticket. I do think your dsis should have let you know in a reasonable time if your niece was going to use it or not. I definitely wouldn't have asked for payment from the boyfriend who took it at the last minute as it would have been wasted anyway if he didnt go.

I of to agree with this. 😇

OP I also think to avoid this scenario, I would've been more proactive at sorting the situation out, given Dsis a deadline etc.

Having said that, if I was on the receiving end, I would've spoken to you about it, not just accepted the ticket without thanks or discussion!

Yes, you are being incredibly unreasonable to expect him to pay for a ticket to a gig that he wasn’t particularly interested, or enthused about, to begin with. This ticket would have gone to waste if he hadn’t accompanied your DSIS to the gig - and I’m getting the vibe you’d have preferred it to go to waste rather than someone having what you perceive to be a ‘free lunch’ on your dime.

I personally cringe when I see people exchanging money over tickets they pass on as they are no longer able to attend an event. If you cannot go because of x,y,z the ticked should be passed on as a gift in my opinion.

But as you say, he has no interest in it. The alternative would have been it got wasted so what's the point of that? He went but not because he would have actually bought a ticket. He was led to believe it was going spare.

You should have tried to sell it yourself and just told your sister to say yes or no to the niece within a certain time then you're selling it.

And if this had happened and he then said he wasn't paying you would rather the ticket went to waste? Strange attitude!

It was on you to say to DS look if you don’t want the ticket by ? date I will try and sell it elsewhere. You didn’t so what do you expect?

Yabu because if you wanted the money and to sell it you should have done that.

You had a year to decide.

Tbh it sounded like your sister wasn't that arsed to go, not enough to buy the ticket.

The money was spent and you weren't intending to recover it (because you didn't pin down a decision to sell and pursue it) so the money was already spent. It doesn't really matter who did or didn't use it - it wasn't you and the money was gone at the point you didn't resell.